No Christmas Gift- would you go back?

[Anonymous]

Yes you should have gotten a gift. Yes you should be irked. But, assuming they pay well and it works for me it would not prevent me from babysitting for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You might be overreacting, but you know the parents better than we do. It’s silly for you to compare yourself to the cleaning lady; she’s a regular employee of theirs and bonuses are standard. What are you? You’re not the nanny anymore. You’re an occasional sitter and speaking of, how occasional are we talking about? Do you watch the kids on a regular basis, like every two weeks? Then yes, I’d expect something. But if we’re talking about less than that and on an irregular basis, then a card would have been thoughtful, but I wouldn’t be offended. The holidays are a hectic time and I would be understanding if I weren’t a regular fixture in their lives, which it sounds like you aren’t. DH and I have dozens of people we have to gift - clients, vendors, household employees, teachers and tutors, various service providers - and it’s very easy to overlook someone who isn’t a constant in our lives. It sounds like you feel like you should have gotten something anyway because of your history and you’re a “friend of the family” now, but not everyone gives cards or gifts to their friends. Also, you said you quit that job and you probably lost most of your goodwill from that. We have a nanny whom we absolutely adore and we are very generous with her. If she left us because she was changing careers, for instance, I would absolutely remember her at the holidays if she made the effort to visit us and help out with our kids. But I’ll tell you, if she left us to go to another family without objective reasons (e.g., we couldn’t give her sufficient hours), I would be devastated and have a really hard time getting over it. And I might not give her something at the holidays because I’m not over it and besides, we don’t give presents or even cards to many of our friends.

Btw I quit because they didn’t want to pay me for any holidays and hiring me for 5 days, but towards the end would last minute cancel days and not pay me for those days
So I don’t care if she can’t get over it, she should have paid me for everyday without canceling last minute
They knew exactly I needed to be paid regularly, and one week she didn’t want to pay me for 3 out of 5 days because her sister was in town. I lost a lot of money so I quit. You would do the same.
So now she can’t be like you know what, she’s always there for us, I never say no to come babysit
You still think at least a card wouldn’t be appropriate?

You are being really entitled. You quit. These are not friends or family. Most employers do not provide gifts especially to former employees. This is a job. Act like a professional and not their child.

[Anonymous]

For the last time- not everyone gets a gift from their employers! I certainly don’t. I feel like many nannies are stuck in pseudo reality. Where everyone gets bonuses, routinely says ‘that’s not my job’, and is universally loved by their boss.
Go to the real world guys. Grow up

[Anonymous]

It would never dawn on me to give a holiday bonus to a date night babysitter. Nanny yes - but you are not the nanny anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the last time- not everyone gets a gift from their employers! I certainly don’t. I feel like many nannies are stuck in pseudo reality. Where everyone gets bonuses, routinely says ‘that’s not my job’, and is universally loved by their boss.
Go to the real world guys. Grow up

It must suck that you are overworked and unappreciated. That’s your real world. For others, their real world is better. No need to be bitter and angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would never dawn on me to give a holiday bonus to a date night babysitter. Nanny yes - but you are not the nanny anymore.

You wouldn’t even consider a card and a gift card to Starbucks or dunkin for a few bucks?
I think it’s weird not to give anything to sitters

[Anonymous]

OP here again- I’m not entitled
I worked for them full time till the summer, than quit BECAUSE they wouldn’t pay me fairly, and I am still babysitting because the kids love me and I love them, it’s been 4.5 years. So you still think I shouldn’t expect a gift? I am not just a date night sitter that came around a few months ago, I’ve been with them for 4.5 years full time, I think I should have a special place with them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again- I’m not entitled
I worked for them full time till the summer, than quit BECAUSE they wouldn’t pay me fairly, and I am still babysitting because the kids love me and I love them, it’s been 4.5 years. So you still think I shouldn’t expect a gift? I am not just a date night sitter that came around a few months ago, I’ve been with them for 4.5 years full time, I think I should have a special place with them

Absolutely not. You worked for them full time and QUIT. You severed the relationship. You are a date night babysitter. You get paid for your services. They are not your friends or family. These are not your kids. You are their former caretaker. You need to move on. You cannot be expected to maintain the same relationship when you QUIT! You are extremely entitled. You are hanging around for your needs, not theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would never dawn on me to give a holiday bonus to a date night babysitter. Nanny yes - but you are not the nanny anymore.

You wouldn’t even consider a card and a gift card to Starbucks or dunkin for a few bucks?
I think it’s weird not to give anything to sitters

You get something. You get paid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again- I’m not entitled
I worked for them full time till the summer, than quit BECAUSE they wouldn’t pay me fairly, and I am still babysitting because the kids love me and I love them, it’s been 4.5 years. So you still think I shouldn’t expect a gift? I am not just a date night sitter that came around a few months ago, I’ve been with them for 4.5 years full time, I think I should have a special place with them

Absolutely not. You worked for them full time and QUIT. You severed the relationship. You are a date night babysitter. You get paid for your services. They are not your friends or family. These are not your kids. You are their former caretaker. You need to move on. You cannot be expected to maintain the same relationship when you QUIT! You are extremely entitled. You are hanging around for your needs, not theirs.

Ok.. I totally understand her point why she QUIT. But I think, that's nothing to do with the way she keeps loving her former kids. And about the comment above I think it's pretty rude to say it in these words to her " They are not Your friends or Family, and These are not Your kids". What rude expression. It's so sad to think that all Nannies are the same. I am sure we are lot of Great Nannies who still love so much our Former charges, No Matter what. I'm sorry to be honest but I just feel that expression very very cold!

[Anonymous]

No offense... but PP is correct. I’m not saying that the family wasn’t crappy while you worked FT for them... that’s pretty clear. But when you keep going back to the well & expecting them to change... that’s on you, OP. You’re the back up / date night “phone a friend” - sorry!

PS, it’s super tacky to count anyone else’s money.

[Anonymous]

Exactly those rude answers here is what’s wrong with this world

No nanny expects a gift or is entitled to one, but I think every sitter/nanny should get a little something for the holidays

I mean it’s women who take care of somebody’s children

And working for somebody for years and being burned by them, but still helping out, what’s wrong with giving a little something?

And I’m sure every nanny/sitter who didn’t get anything this holiday season WILL be upset no matter what

[Anonymous]

If you're fairly compensated for your babysitting, stay. Look at the big picture. They probably didn't think you not getting a Christmas gift is such a big deal to you. It's only one very small piece among a lot of more important factors.

[Anonymous]

Wait? So if I use a date night sitter every 2 months, I’m supposed to get them a Christmas gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait? So if I use a date night sitter every 2 months, I’m supposed to get them a Christmas gift?

I said I’m still babysitting almost every week and go to everybody’s birthday parties
And the parents saw me the day before Christmas Eve and on Christmas Eve

If you have a babysitter that comes around once every two months, you don’t have to give her anything if you don’t want to.
But if you happened to see her right before the holidays, I think a little tip/gift would be appreciated.
I think the problem is that most parents are just nickel and dime their sitters, I mean if you can afford thousands of dollars a year
on nannies, you can’t spend another $25/50/100 on a gift card?!?!?!