Why do people slander AP's on some forum's?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it obvious? The AP is still in the country as an AP. Stories like this help inform parents of potential people to avoid should they end up in rematch or extension.

I would want to know if that was MY AP.

That particular story was a bit odd.

Other posts about "is this your AP who says she wants to go into rematch, but is waiting until after the holidays?" I would definitely want to know.

How about the “your au pair is selling cookies to other au pairs” post? WTF was that about?

Girl Scouts? Or something else?

[Anonymous]

YES!! What is that about!? Who CARES?! I was wondering if they were pot cookies or something? If not, why on earth would you get involved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:YES!! What is that about!? Who CARES?! I was wondering if they were pot cookies or something? If not, why on earth would you get involved?

1) Side business = extra work just like babysitting for your neighbor for extra money. Not legal.
2) Background: reference to a prior AP who used her host family's kitchen and materials to make this extra money. Also time. Don't claim you're making food for the family as a part of cultural exchange and use it as work time when you're actually trying to make extra cash.
3) Liability: There's a reason people can't just operate food businesses from home. The state regulates what kind of kitchen you need (home does not qualify as a "professional" kitchen) and training for food safety. Someone who gets sick and $$$ in their eyes is going to try to sue the host family, not the AP. May not stick, but a huge hassle anyway.

So, if you don't care about these things, welcome your AP to do them. Other HFs would be horrified to know that's what AP has been up to with all her cookie baking "for friends"

[Anonymous]

My AP was reading me from an AP website where they suggest ways for extra income, including selling plasma, and she was telling me that other agencies don’t care. I said she would get herself sent home, jeopardize our ability to continue in the program, and jeopardize the entire program (to the extent that lots of au pairs are doing it) plus she’s have to pay tax on the income. She kept insisting that everyone’s doing it and they don’t have to pay tax.

[Anonymous]

What U find revealing is the au pair forums where au pairs slander host families
Sometimes there are posts regarding issues with kids and genuinely asking for advice, revealing personal family details.
Other times really tough situations, like host family divorcing, parents hitting, slapping their kids and that is illegal in their home country.
Some homesickness. Occasional issues where being an au pair didn't meet expectations.
Despite this, the criticism towards host families sound to be mostly spot on

[Anonymous]

And keep in mind that sometimes their criticism is cultural, they don't know any better, and they are just letting off steam. We have had a couple rematch "refugee" APs that stayed with our AP while they were awaiting rematch. One of them said the tipping point was that the family "saved" all of their kids' laundry from the weekend and expected her to do laundry and put it away. Now, I do laundry every day: my AP never does kids' laundry, sometimes she folds/puts away. The rematch AP just refused to believe me that some Americans do laundry one day a week, and that it was reasonable for the HF to assign her laundry that was worn by the kids over the weekend. Another AP couldn't believe that HF ate frozen/canned vegetables. I explained to her how expensive fresh fruit and vegetables can be in the US. Now, we buy our AP fresh fruit and vegetables, but if we/she doesn't use it up, we don't buy it again, unless she commits to finishing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And keep in mind that sometimes their criticism is cultural, they don't know any better, and they are just letting off steam. We have had a couple rematch "refugee" APs that stayed with our AP while they were awaiting rematch. One of them said the tipping point was that the family "saved" all of their kids' laundry from the weekend and expected her to do laundry and put it away. Now, I do laundry every day: my AP never does kids' laundry, sometimes she folds/puts away. The rematch AP just refused to believe me that some Americans do laundry one day a week, and that it was reasonable for the HF to assign her laundry that was worn by the kids over the weekend. Another AP couldn't believe that HF ate frozen/canned vegetables. I explained to her how expensive fresh fruit and vegetables can be in the US. Now, we buy our AP fresh fruit and vegetables, but if we/she doesn't use it up, we don't buy it again, unless she commits to finishing it.

Hmm she is supposed to do the kids laundry,does it matter when they wore it? Sound like she was just lazy. I rarely do the kids laundry since I have a
au pairs (and for that is one of the biggest advantages of having one) and none of them never complained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And keep in mind that sometimes their criticism is cultural, they don't know any better, and they are just letting off steam. We have had a couple rematch "refugee" APs that stayed with our AP while they were awaiting rematch. One of them said the tipping point was that the family "saved" all of their kids' laundry from the weekend and expected her to do laundry and put it away. Now, I do laundry every day: my AP never does kids' laundry, sometimes she folds/puts away. The rematch AP just refused to believe me that some Americans do laundry one day a week, and that it was reasonable for the HF to assign her laundry that was worn by the kids over the weekend. Another AP couldn't believe that HF ate frozen/canned vegetables. I explained to her how expensive fresh fruit and vegetables can be in the US. Now, we buy our AP fresh fruit and vegetables, but if we/she doesn't use it up, we don't buy it again, unless she commits to finishing it.

Hmm she is supposed to do the kids laundry,does it matter when they wore it? Sound like she was just lazy. I rarely do the kids laundry since I have a
au pairs (and for that is one of the biggest advantages of having one) and none of them never complained.

With regard to frozen or canned vegetables. I agree with the au pair.
Based on how you are quoting, I am sure the family had a bad diet and the au pair pointed this out with a reason
I have heard of an au pair that introduced the family to cucumbers and tomatoes.

A family that is wealthy enough to afford live in home help can afford to buy fresh vegetables. Diet based on canned food and frozen meals is bad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And keep in mind that sometimes their criticism is cultural, they don't know any better, and they are just letting off steam. We have had a couple rematch "refugee" APs that stayed with our AP while they were awaiting rematch. One of them said the tipping point was that the family "saved" all of their kids' laundry from the weekend and expected her to do laundry and put it away. Now, I do laundry every day: my AP never does kids' laundry, sometimes she folds/puts away. The rematch AP just refused to believe me that some Americans do laundry one day a week, and that it was reasonable for the HF to assign her laundry that was worn by the kids over the weekend. Another AP couldn't believe that HF ate frozen/canned vegetables. I explained to her how expensive fresh fruit and vegetables can be in the US. Now, we buy our AP fresh fruit and vegetables, but if we/she doesn't use it up, we don't buy it again, unless she commits to finishing it.

Hmm she is supposed to do the kids laundry,does it matter when they wore it? Sound like she was just lazy. I rarely do the kids laundry since I have a
au pairs (and for that is one of the biggest advantages of having one) and none of them never complained.

With regard to frozen or canned vegetables. I agree with the au pair.
Based on how you are quoting, I am sure the family had a bad diet and the au pair pointed this out with a reason
I have heard of an au pair that introduced the family to cucumbers and tomatoes.

A family that is wealthy enough to afford live in home help can afford to buy fresh vegetables. Diet based on canned food and frozen meals is bad

I agree about most canned produce, but canned tomatoes and unsweetened applesauce (for kids) are fine, IMO. Frozen produce (not a meal, no sauce) can be better than out-of-season produce. Frozen berries are better than fresh berries unless picked is season very locally, because fresh are picked green and exposed to gases to color, but they won’t ripen. Some produce is better fresh (IMO), like lettuce, apples, pears, put fruit, etc.