Anonymous wrote:Hi there. Our AP has been with us since January. She is warm, likeable, and affectionate with my kids. Loves our pets. We had a reset meeting 6 days ago due to continual communication challenges (e.g. I have stated a house rule or a safety rule verbally and in writing but she either doesn't understand or ask or forgets and I am an intermediate speaker of her language and so have taken care to translate the important stuff), and not calling me when something happens (e.g. late for school pick up, kid gets a significant injury). I addressed these things with AP when they happened, but the seriousness did not seem to register nor did I get a commitment to call/communicate. I should have had the LCC come a week prior, but AP had a trip planned and I thought it would be better to do after. In the 6 days since our meeting, AP has ramped up efforts significantly (for the first time) and she has stated she wants to stay with us. However, I just generally wonder about her judgement (she put 2 lbs of dried beans from a sensory bin project down the garbage disposal and clogged it, rinsed beans down the bathroom sink and clogged it, ran the slow cooker for 3 hours without the food container in it, has repeatedly forgotten things like bike helmets - yes it is written on the fridge in 2 languages). She has redoubled her efforts like never before but we have 6 months left. I could rematch, but it's a challenge finding someone with the whole package I need: strong driver, good communication, reliability for pick up and drop off, and would like to have someone personable and playful. I have interviewed several rematch candidates and have one that is interested and has all of the things we need except she's not yet a strong driver but we can work on that. Here's where I get hung up: my kids love our AP. She has grown a lot in her 5 months with us. And rematching would mean they have to let her go and adapt to someone new, and there's onboarding and all that goes with it. It kind of feels like bad break up to me - I know current AP would be upset. I have made more effort on my end to be more direct, to spell out and ask for repeating back to me, we have our weekly check ins, and I think we could get through the year. What would you do?
You're being too harsh. Those are teachable moments and learning requires repetition. You might have to tell her a few times and it might annoy you but your house rules are fighting her mental process for how she has done things for the last 20 or so years in her hometown. This goes for anything in life. Telling someone something ONCE and assuming that it's all it takes would make you naive. Even putting it on the fridge is not enough because it's easy to ignore it.
|
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}