AP met a boy -

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give her the street smarts that she lacks. Then it's her choice what to do with it.

"People here aren't always as good-intentioned as you and people from your country. Generally here, people work up to big trips, all-day dates, etc. It's safer to go with a friend, to stay closer to home so you can more easily get back. If you wanted to leave, what would be your exit plan? Uber? Bus?"

Teach her.

Yes. Must bash the US and assume that EVERY other country ONLY has well intentioned people.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Y'all are riotous with the humor! And I really hope the double cellmate date was the first/last. Yikes.

So AP has been out with him a few times. He has no car and moved here 2 years ago from Puerto Rico. She is taking another AP with her, so I feel better about that but she didn't ask me about tsking the car - it's interstate driving, which I haven't allowed her to do, and farther than I'd like our older car to be in case of problems (I couldn't get to her easily). Allowing it this time. Will put 30 mile limit in the handbook for next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Y'all are riotous with the humor! And I really hope the double cellmate date was the first/last. Yikes.

So AP has been out with him a few times. He has no car and moved here 2 years ago from Puerto Rico. She is taking another AP with her, so I feel better about that but she didn't ask me about tsking the car - it's interstate driving, which I haven't allowed her to do, and farther than I'd like our older car to be in case of problems (I couldn't get to her easily). Allowing it this time. Will put 30 mile limit in the handbook for next time.

Are you saying she taking your old car to date and she didn't ask in advance? Does she usually ask for private outing? We have a second car but AP always have to ask before using for private outing.

[Anonymous]

OP. She asked last weekend if she could go to the national aquarium (1 hr from where we live) on a date but did not clarify that the date has no car and she intends to take mine until today. Date is Tomorrow. I clarified today that this is outside the driving range I am comfortable with given the age of the car (and I have to take out and put back in one of the car seats) because of the other au pair who will be going. It also occurred to me this evening that she is probably insured for local driving in our town but not long distances - need to clarify my insurance policy but regardless I am not comfortable with the interstate and the distance.

[Anonymous]

OP again. The AP riding with her drove the two of them to Baltimore a few weekends ago, so I probably should have seen this coming and better prepared.

[Anonymous]

Seen what coming? That a college grad would want to go on a date?

[Anonymous]

I should have realized when the other AP was driving our AP to Baltimore that a reciprocal request would likely be made soon.

[Anonymous]

Why on earth would you have your au pair driving a car that you don’t trust? That’s just stupid.

[Anonymous]

Oh I trust the car fine for local driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our aps best friend (another ap) is eating a guy who literally just got out of prison.
Our ap went on a double date with his former cellmate.

Sometimes knowing who they are going out with is even worse.

MYOB.

Our neighbor's AP dated a drug dealer. One night said drug dealer physically broke their back for down.

[Anonymous]

It also occurred to me this evening that she is probably insured for local driving in our town but not long distances - need to clarify my insurance policy but regardless I am not comfortable with the interstate and the distance.

I've never heard of an insurance policy that only covers local driving. I think you are in the clear here insurance wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you have your au pair driving a car that you don’t trust? That’s just stupid.

I trust my AP but still limit where she can drive. She knows the local roads, not the highways beyond. Both of our APs have gotten into accidents but it was very easy to get to them because they were local. They get into an accident an hour away, it's still my problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you have your au pair driving a car that you don’t trust? That’s just stupid.

I trust my AP but still limit where she can drive. She knows the local roads, not the highways beyond. Both of our APs have gotten into accidents but it was very easy to get to them because they were local. They get into an accident an hour away, it's still my problem.

We have a driving radius and car curfew, basically because we got an old but well maintained car and don't want to bail an AP out late at night/far away.

You're welcome to keep the APs who insist on "no curfews" and no driving related rules. Ours have been very respectful about being able to drive our cars on their off hours, especially because there's so many options for other modes of transportation (including walking/biking).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It also occurred to me this evening that she is probably insured for local driving in our town but not long distances - need to clarify my insurance policy but regardless I am not comfortable with the interstate and the distance.

I've never heard of an insurance policy that only covers local driving. I think you are in the clear here insurance wise.

You can get a discount if you drive under 7,000 miles a year on a care insurance. I had to provide my mileage each year when I renewed my insurance to prove I was under 7,000 miles. I lived 2 miles from work so this was not hard for me to do. So it might not be that the car cannot be driven on the highway, per insurance, but that the family intends to limit the miles driven in order to earn an insurance discount.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP -
You may need to separate for yourself if you are concerned about your AP dating, or your AP going on dates in *the family car.*

Would you feel better if you met the guy? Could you ask her if she has talked with her family back home about this guy? Ask her what her friends think of him

... and of course, talk with your LC about your concerns. She has likely seen and heard it all! She can help you (and your AP) find a comfortable understanding.