AP left my 3 year old with someone else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. You’re freaking out because your child is three. Wait another year or two until drop off play dates start, then look back at this and smile. I’ve dropped kids off at homes and the parents a) had no idea kids were going to a play date and b) don’t know the nanny or parent, but c) they trust my judgement. Soon, you’ll be dropping your kid off for activities or just in town with friends. Nothing happened, so just have a reset conversation.

No the OP but would like your perspective on how the reset convo should go. Thx!

[Anonymous]

If your AP knew the other person its totally fine in my opinion. As a Nanny i helped out other nannies now and again and they helped me out. As a parent now i have done the same thing. You are over reacting.

[Anonymous]

I would be fine it if I trusted my AP. My current AP meets up with a group of other au pairs with similarly aged kids and having witnessed them playing at the park I actually like that they all watch out for the kids.
I have met all of them and they are all very nice responsible girls.

[Anonymous]

This is something I could have done when I was an AP.
BUT I would have only done it with a nanny or AP that I trusted completely.

A store run is not an emergency though and if she's good in all the other aspects of her job I'd just warn her not to do it again and would let it go.

Now that I am a professional nanny this is NOT something I would do at all, even with a fellow nanny. The children stay with me at all times.

I get you are upset, please address it with her so she's more careful from now on. I think she didn't mean any harm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think in general it is a not acceptable, but the question is what were the circumstances?

1. Is AP coming from culture where it is totally fine, as some “it take a village” cultures are?

2. How well AP knew the nanny?

3. Why AP had to go to the store to begin with (eg, “child threw up everywhere in the car and I urgently needed Clorox wipes” is totally different from “I felt like getting a coffee”$?

I think circumstances and the fact that it looks like the nanny did not kidnap the child and everything was OK, would determine the next step. You can be furious, but what is productive next step (explaining it is not OK, or a more stringent reset conversation, or rematch)?

This. I'd be worried about poor judgement. If AP had to go to the bathroom, then it's a good practice to take your 3yo along and make them go potty too. If 3yo needed a snack and AP was out of food, 3yo should have gone with her. What was the circumstance that 3yo couldn't leave the playground and go with her for a few minutes??

[Anonymous]

This is why you hire a nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think in general it is a not acceptable, but the question is what were the circumstances?

1. Is AP coming from culture where it is totally fine, as some “it take a village” cultures are?

2. How well AP knew the nanny?

3. Why AP had to go to the store to begin with (eg, “child threw up everywhere in the car and I urgently needed Clorox wipes” is totally different from “I felt like getting a coffee”$?

I think circumstances and the fact that it looks like the nanny did not kidnap the child and everything was OK, would determine the next step. You can be furious, but what is productive next step (explaining it is not OK, or a more stringent reset conversation, or rematch)?

This. I'd be worried about poor judgement. If AP had to go to the bathroom, then it's a good practice to take your 3yo along and make them go potty too. If 3yo needed a snack and AP was out of food, 3yo should have gone with her. What was the circumstance that 3yo couldn't leave the playground and go with her for a few minutes??

Agree. Not sure about all the circumstances but I can think of very few good reasons to leave a child I was responsible for with someone else at the park/playground. How did you find out about the incident? I would also be concerned about lack of common sense and judgement in general. If the child runs in the street and is hit by a car while she is at the store, does she understand she is still responsible? Did she consider this scenario?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why you hire a nanny

Except that doesn't help if the nanny has the same mindset - I think I just saw a nanny post that she'd do the same thing.

[Anonymous]

If I had met the nanny and trusted the nanny, I'd only be slightly ticked off. If I had never met the person she left my child with, I'd go a little crazy.

What were the circumstances OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. You’re freaking out because your child is three. Wait another year or two until drop off play dates start, then look back at this and smile. I’ve dropped kids off at homes and the parents a) had no idea kids were going to a play date and b) don’t know the nanny or parent, but c) they trust my judgement. Soon, you’ll be dropping your kid off for activities or just in town with friends. Nothing happened, so just have a reset conversation.

This is insane - the parents have no idea where the kids are going and don't know the nanny or parent you dropped them with? I've got older and younger kids and I would never be ok with that situation. And we had a nanny for many years who we trusted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. You’re freaking out because your child is three. Wait another year or two until drop off play dates start, then look back at this and smile. I’ve dropped kids off at homes and the parents a) had no idea kids were going to a play date and b) don’t know the nanny or parent, but c) they trust my judgement. Soon, you’ll be dropping your kid off for activities or just in town with friends. Nothing happened, so just have a reset conversation.

This is insane - the parents have no idea where the kids are going and don't know the nanny or parent you dropped them with? I've got older and younger kids and I would never be ok with that situation. And we had a nanny for many years who we trusted.

+1 We has a nanny for 5 1/2 years, who we loved and trusted, but she 100% did not have authority to drop my kids off with parents that I’ve never met and without my knowledge. She was a fantastic nanny, but those are still my kids.

I’d be really upset with our Au Pair if she left my child for any reason if it wasn’t an emergency. This would be a reset convo and a flag to the LCV.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

OP never even came back, it was probably a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP never even came back, it was probably a troll.

+1

[Anonymous]

I’d be fine with it. HM of 4 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d be fine with it. HM of 4 years.

Glad I’m not the only one who found this to be a nonevent