Tips on how to fire live-in nanny (or any nanny) - my first time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A month of pay and benefits plus the flight back.

Seems logical. That was my initial thought. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You uprooted her and unless she did something so horrible as to endanger your child's life, you need to do a lot more than one month's pay. Presumably, there is a contract, what does it say? I would give her a ticket home, three months pay, a pre-paid phone for three months and three months paid insurance.

Contract says 2 weeks notice for both parties. I recognize that 2 weeks for her is not enough time. Trying to survey what is realistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, What happened??

Laundry list of issues that have piled up over time.
-we feel like we are raising a teenager (although 30+ year old nanny) + our own child.
-untidy, not cleaning own messes
-changing needs of daughter
-unsure about keeping her on for new baby
-lack of structure (personal and on-the-job)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, this is the downside to being a live-in nanny...

1. Severance
2. Information on cobra
3. Time to get a new phone and port the number!
4. Paid transportation back to Seattle OR paid moving somewhere else in Phoenix, her choice

You are NOT responsible for paying for her insurance or her phone after her employment ends. If you’ve done due diligence, she’s eligible for unemployment while she finds a new job, and combined with severance of 1-3 months pay, whatever your contract states, she can pay those for herself until she finds a new position.

I highly doubt that she’d choose to fly. Either she’d have to ship most of her things, get rid of her things, or pay an arm and a leg for baggage at the airport. There’s a reason I rent a car or take the train. I can pay $20 per checked bag on the train, and I’m not as limited for carry-ons. With a car, the family pays the rental, I pay gas and tolls, but since they pay for the full tank and I drop off the car empty, I spend relatively little on gas.

Good distinction on the drive v. Fly. I had not considered that flight would not be her first choice. Will consider the car route or at least providing the pay for the car and gas for the road trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Letting go of a live-in nanny is very different from letting go of a typical employee.

You owe your live-in at least two months severance as you are taking away her home as well as her job. Since live-ins are typically paid far less than a live-out nanny, three months severance is appropriate.

Have a long talk with her about her dismissal - and negotiate a fair move-out date and ask her if she wants to go home. If she does, then yes - you are responsible for her airfare.

We went this route and had some conversations identifying areas of improvement: getting along with visiting family members, cleaning, being proactive about activities, hygiene, etc. Will see where it goes. Have hope that she will change. But it's a bit like trying to bake a cake ... After it's been baked already. So, we'll see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You uprooted her and unless she did something so horrible as to endanger your child's life, you need to do a lot more than one month's pay. Presumably, there is a contract, what does it say? I would give her a ticket home, three months pay, a pre-paid phone for three months and three months paid insurance.

This, though I doubt the nanny has a fair contract, otherwise OP wouldn’t be asking.

I asked because I care.

[Approaching soapbox]

[Fully perched atop soapbox]

Our diligent hiring process produced a well-educated US citizen nanny with English as first language. Her K includes basic fairness, warranties, and expectations like communication, guaranteed hours, extra pay for extra hours, EFT, insurance, phone, we pay all of her taxes, vacation, sick policy, and even more goodies.

We recruited and retained this fine young lady because of our research on how to attract and keep great talent. Also, importantly, we are employers who are self-made and therefore empathize with her and seek to build and empower her. We know that her nanny time will come to a natural end (if she's not fired in this instance or any future instances). But we'd like to set her up to run her own business / walk into an established business by the time she leaves us.

Attack me for being petty. But do not attack me for having a lopsided K. The shit I hear from word-of-mouth about how these nannies are treated is repulsive (no eating as a family, no off time in the presence of family, dad's gone wild, diva mom's, no food, mentally abusive, funny money, and the list goes on and on and on).

But at my own house, i've got to draw the line somewhere. If it ain't working, she has to go. Good intentions aside.

[Out of breath, stepping down from the soapbox]

[Back on the ground again]

At the end of the day, it is a job. It's just like the one I have, I have to perform. Baseline performance keeps me hired. Failing in basic areas gets me fired. Same here. Unlike my job, however, who could let me go without cause and wave goodbye on a whim, I do care and I want to do more than wave goodbye to her...like the law entitles me to do. In short, I want to do right by her. So that's why I asked y'all. I am trying to gather information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You uprooted her and unless she did something so horrible as to endanger your child's life, you need to do a lot more than one month's pay. Presumably, there is a contract, what does it say? I would give her a ticket home, three months pay, a pre-paid phone for three months and three months paid insurance.

This, though I doubt the nanny has a fair contract, otherwise OP wouldn’t be asking.

I asked because I care.

[Approaching soapbox]

[Fully perched atop soapbox]

Our diligent hiring process produced a well-educated US citizen nanny with English as first language. Her K includes basic fairness, warranties, and expectations like communication, guaranteed hours, extra pay for extra hours, EFT, insurance, phone, we pay all of her taxes, vacation, sick policy, and even more goodies.

We recruited and retained this fine young lady because of our research on how to attract and keep great talent. Also, importantly, we are employers who are self-made and therefore empathize with her and seek to build and empower her. We know that her nanny time will come to a natural end (if she's not fired in this instance or any future instances). But we'd like to set her up to run her own business / walk into an established business by the time she leaves us.

Attack me for being petty. But do not attack me for having a lopsided K. The shit I hear from word-of-mouth about how these nannies are treated is repulsive (no eating as a family, no off time in the presence of family, dad's gone wild, diva mom's, no food, mentally abusive, funny money, and the list goes on and on and on).

But at my own house, i've got to draw the line somewhere. If it ain't working, she has to go. Good intentions aside.

[Out of breath, stepping down from the soapbox]

[Back on the ground again]

At the end of the day, it is a job. It's just like the one I have, I have to perform. Baseline performance keeps me hired. Failing in basic areas gets me fired. Same here. Unlike my job, however, who could let me go without cause and wave goodbye on a whim, I do care and I want to do more than wave goodbye to her...like the law entitles me to do. In short, I want to do right by her. So that's why I asked y'all. I am trying to gather information.

You stage directions aren't even remotely funny. They just show why this nanny wants out.

[Anonymous]

You should work on your ability to research and atttract great talent, it’s seems to not be working for you.

[Anonymous]

He / she asked for tips.

Yet power trippy commenters are attacking OP.

[Anonymous]

So, what happened, OP?

[Anonymous]

OP here. To be honest, I'm having humble pie right now. Spouse wants to give it another go with same nanny. He says it's far easier to rehabilitate this one than to start from scratch with a new person in this new town.

So, we've restated the job requirements and hope that this will cure the problem.
So far, honestly she has really improved as a result of our new focus / reiteration of the job requirements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To be honest, I'm having humble pie right now. Spouse wants to give it another go with same nanny. He says it's far easier to rehabilitate this one than to start from scratch with a new person in this new town.

So, we've restated the job requirements and hope that this will cure the problem.
So far, honestly she has really improved as a result of our new focus / reiteration of the job requirements.

Great to hear this. Congratulations. Continuity of care is important. My best recommendation is to definitely institute weekly meetings to discuss your child’s development, *and* any other concerns or questions. When parents get too busy, things often go downhill.