Would hiring an au pair be a good fit for our situation?

[Anonymous]

If op lives in nyc or Los Angeles it could work. But if they live in middle of nowhere you are offering a serious job when most APs have a baby sitting gig.

You would probably be in the 80-90% likely rematch spectrum even after matching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does neurotypical mean?

Its a term used to insult kids with special needs or developmental delays by highlighting the differences. Its a completely unnecessary comment.

It’s a term used within the special needs community to say that a child does not have special needs that are mental or emotional, usually as clarification, like OP did. Child a has d special need, while child b is neurotypical. It’s not a judgement, just an explanation. For someone who works with children, knowing their is an older child with special needs and a younger child who is neurotypical could be vital. A younger child is not mature enough to understand that the child with special needs has to have extra help and may get extra attention. An older child is more likely to understand, even if the child is resentful or jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does neurotypical mean?

Its a term used to insult kids with special needs or developmental delays by highlighting the differences. Its a completely unnecessary comment.

It’s a term used within the special needs community to say that a child does not have special needs that are mental or emotional, usually as clarification, like OP did. Child a has d special need, while child b is neurotypical. It’s not a judgement, just an explanation. For someone who works with children, knowing their is an older child with special needs and a younger child who is neurotypical could be vital. A younger child is not mature enough to understand that the child with special needs has to have extra help and may get extra attention. An older child is more likely to understand, even if the child is resentful or jealous.

Kids understand more than you think as do adults. Its offensive to describe kids as SN and neurotypical. It absolutely is a judgement.

[Anonymous]

I think an AP may work as DS1 gets older, but it may be difficult as he enters into kindergarten. That is a lot of change with dad's new job, grandma leaving in June, etc. Once he is used to a school routine, I see it as a possibility.

And AP doesn't do dinner every night, but you can have simple meals prepped that she starts so it is ready when you get home (think Costco type meals or crock pot or similar).

Are you near a city? Would they have use of a car?

I might suggest trying with a college student or similar in the afternoon for a couple weeks to test how it goes. And work with the therapist to get their point of view.

It doesn't sound like the AP would be alone with the child often, but you know what your child is like more than any of us. Most au pairs are around for just one year at a time (hopefully). Would that change be too difficult for DS?

Good luck with the plans and finding something that works best for you and your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think an AP may work as DS1 gets older, but it may be difficult as he enters into kindergarten. That is a lot of change with dad's new job, grandma leaving in June, etc. Once he is used to a school routine, I see it as a possibility.

And AP doesn't do dinner every night, but you can have simple meals prepped that she starts so it is ready when you get home (think Costco type meals or crock pot or similar).

Are you near a city? Would they have use of a car?

I might suggest trying with a college student or similar in the afternoon for a couple weeks to test how it goes. And work with the therapist to get their point of view.

It doesn't sound like the AP would be alone with the child often, but you know what your child is like more than any of us. Most au pairs are around for just one year at a time (hopefully). Would that change be too difficult for DS?

Good luck with the plans and finding something that works best for you and your family.

OP again...we live in Rockville and the Au Pair would have access to one of our cars during the week. DS1 is already doing transitions to Kindergarten and he has been very successful. It looks like an Au Pair would be more suitable for us once both kids are in elementary school. Right now, I may just hire a part time house keeper to cook and clean for us

[Anonymous]

If you live that far away you will probably need a third car for ap. “Access during the week” translates to AP no car on weekend in a remote suburb. AKA connection denied on ccap.

[Anonymous]

That sounds like a lot going on for a child who has ASD. I would think you are better off having someone cook/clean/grocery shop a few days a week when no one is home and just do before school care at school and maybe hire someone, even a teenager to be there for two hours after school since they can do their homework. I'd just be concerned about reliability of the ABA therapist and caregiver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does neurotypical mean?

Its a term used to insult kids with special needs or developmental delays by highlighting the differences. Its a completely unnecessary comment.

It’s a term used within the special needs community to say that a child does not have special needs that are mental or emotional, usually as clarification, like OP did. Child a has d special need, while child b is neurotypical. It’s not a judgement, just an explanation. For someone who works with children, knowing their is an older child with special needs and a younger child who is neurotypical could be vital. A younger child is not mature enough to understand that the child with special needs has to have extra help and may get extra attention. An older child is more likely to understand, even if the child is resentful or jealous.

Kids understand more than you think as do adults. Its offensive to describe kids as SN and neurotypical. It absolutely is a judgement.

No it’s not. I work with families, both children with and without sn. I need to know, before I walk into the situation, what the mental, emotional and physical limitations and expectations are for each child. As soon as I hear neurotypical, my mind automatically catalogues all the permutations possible for that child based on age, size and home life. It’s a good descriptor to another adult, but I agree that it shouldn’t be used around children. Of course, I’m in the camp that the terms special needs, disabled, differently abled and handicapped should not be used around children either. Each should have limitations and expectations specific to that one child, and using language in front of them that lumps children together is not conducive to the thought that everyone has different strengths and challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH has been offered a job that requires weekly travel so he will be home only Friday afternoon-Sunday. I work full time and we have two kids (DS1 is 5 with high functioning autism and DS2 is 3 and neurotypical). DS1 currently goes to PEP for half a day and an ABA therapists comes to our house for the other half. My mom is here with us until mid-June to help out. DS1 starts kindergarten in the Fall and will be going to Summer camp from 7:30-6. DS2 goes to preschool located in my office building all day. Once DS1 is in kindergarten, we will continue with the ABA therapy but it will be from when he gets home at 4:15 to 6:15.

I would need someone at home for DS1 in the mornings from when I leave at 7:30 to 9 when the school bus comes, and 4:15-6:15 when I get home. The ABA therapist needs someone at home who is over 18. If we get an au pair, we would like her to cook dinner while the ABA therapist is working with DS1 and gave the kids a bath while I clean up the kitchen after dinner. Occasionally, we may need her to help out half day on the weekend if DH can't travel home for some reason so that I can clean the house or when there is no school for some reason. It would be nice if she can do the kid's laundry and enforce having the kids cleaning up after themselves, especially their toys. So I estimate we need the au pair to work 25 hours a week for most weeks. For next summer, we plan on having DS1 continue camp but maybe from 9:30-3:30. Given our situation, would an au pair be most suitable for us?

You need a nanny.
Way too much for an au pair to handle.

[Anonymous]

Do a nanny if you can afford it. Otherwise the travel may not be worth the trade off. And Nanny could be with you for years, AP will change over time.