Return trip home

[Anonymous]

I can’t see how “saying your goodbyes in the car” and “simply letting them off” at the airport is much different and significantly more kind than providing paid transportation to the airport. People absolutely have legitimate reasons for not being able to take a day off to drive and drop someone off at the airport. Should a busy physician host parent cancel on her patients based on a date assigned to her by the AP agency? The example you set for your children is over the year you interact with the AP, not based on an isolated event.

[Anonymous]

Reading through this thread, it struck me that it is full-time working professional host mom who is taking on all the responsibility, guilt and being shamed. I have a solution: how about letting HOST DAD take responsibility for taking au pair to the airport, telling his boss he needs time off to deliver the childcare provider to the airport, rearranging his schedule, canceling meetings/appointments/clients, or alternatively spending half the day texting back and forth on the ideal time to order the UBER? This is supposed to be a host family responsibility after all.

[Anonymous]

You don't have to take all day off. Please. You can take her to the airport early, say goodbye, and then go to work. Priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading through this thread, it struck me that it is full-time working professional host mom who is taking on all the responsibility, guilt and being shamed. I have a solution: how about letting HOST DAD take responsibility for taking au pair to the airport, telling his boss he needs time off to deliver the childcare provider to the airport, rearranging his schedule, canceling meetings/appointments/clients, or alternatively spending half the day texting back and forth on the ideal time to order the UBER? This is supposed to be a host family responsibility after all.

This is spot on. Leave an hour early due to “security” and get a quicky in at the airport hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to take all day off. Please. You can take her to the airport early, say goodbye, and then go to work. Priorities.

That's not exactly fair -- we don't get to book the flights. If the agency books a 3pm flight I'm still happy to take AP to the airport on my way to work. But not sure AP wants to sit at the airport for 5 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to take all day off. Please. You can take her to the airport early, say goodbye, and then go to work. Priorities.

Please. Take a reality check. If you live that close to the airport and have that much control over your workday, you don’t need an AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading through this thread, it struck me that it is full-time working professional host mom who is taking on all the responsibility, guilt and being shamed. I have a solution: how about letting HOST DAD take responsibility for taking au pair to the airport, telling his boss he needs time off to deliver the childcare provider to the airport, rearranging his schedule, canceling meetings/appointments/clients, or alternatively spending half the day texting back and forth on the ideal time to order the UBER? This is supposed to be a host family responsibility after all.

There are many different types of families.

As a single mom, there is no host dad to help out.

I can’t believe this thread is still going.

[Anonymous]

Geeze, maybe the AP was not a great AP. Maybe the OP has an important obligation. OP- if the AP was fabulous and you absolutely cannot take her to the airport, maybe a fancy car service or limo would be a nice gesture? Maybe a fun family dinner out the night before with a big "I'm so sorry, but" explanation would suffice? Life happens- don't beat yourself up!

[Anonymous]

I believe CCAP does require you to provide transportation to the airport once on the departure.
Some of our au pairs come back at the tail end of their travel month for a night or two before heading home. That's two departures. Only required to help once.
And helping can be an uber or cash for a cab too.
Some of our au pairs have picked 6am flights to start their travel month -- needing to leave our house by 3am. I did not take them to the airport and they didn't expect it and we got a long well. I might even put a college age child of my own in an uber at 3am if they were going on a month long trip.
BUT... we always do a send off. A nice dinner or something special for their final night or day with us so that even if we're not there at the airport, they know we have appreciated their year with us.
It's not just about the type of travel, but giving them a proper goodbye or send-off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our current AP keeps asking me to bring her to the airport for the return trip home. I’m working that day, and suggested she try and pack as lightly as possible and try to send things ahead of time, and then take our local train to airport (there is a direct stop). Do most people pay for a car service or Uber for their AP to get to the airport? Also, any recommendations for prepaid luggage/ box shipping?

Eek....we always take our APs to the airport. I dont know what to tell you. You sounds kinda awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our current AP keeps asking me to bring her to the airport for the return trip home. I’m working that day, and suggested she try and pack as lightly as possible and try to send things ahead of time, and then take our local train to airport (there is a direct stop). Do most people pay for a car service or Uber for their AP to get to the airport? Also, any recommendations for prepaid luggage/ box shipping?

Eek....we always take our APs to the airport. I dont know what to tell you. You sounds kinda awful.

OP here--

This thread has turned out to be much more polarizing than I'd anticipated.

And what's "kinda awful" are the judgmental responses to simple questions regarding logistics!

To those replies--you have no idea what our work and schedules entail, the type of relationship we have with our AP, the traffic patterns where we live, or the volume of possessions our AP has accumulated during her stay with us. Of course we will send her off with a proper goodbye the night before, but seriously-- our physically taking AP to the airport versus a car service is not going to make or break her year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our current AP keeps asking me to bring her to the airport for the return trip home. I’m working that day, and suggested she try and pack as lightly as possible and try to send things ahead of time, and then take our local train to airport (there is a direct stop). Do most people pay for a car service or Uber for their AP to get to the airport? Also, any recommendations for prepaid luggage/ box shipping?

Eek....we always take our APs to the airport. I dont know what to tell you. You sounds kinda awful.

OP here--

This thread has turned out to be much more polarizing than I'd anticipated.

And what's "kinda awful" are the judgmental responses to simple questions regarding logistics!

To those replies--you have no idea what our work and schedules entail, the type of relationship we have with our AP, the traffic patterns where we live, or the volume of possessions our AP has accumulated during her stay with us. Of course we will send her off with a proper goodbye the night before, but seriously-- our physically taking AP to the airport versus a car service is not going to make or break her year.

But you wanted AP to take the train.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our current AP keeps asking me to bring her to the airport for the return trip home. I’m working that day, and suggested she try and pack as lightly as possible and try to send things ahead of time, and then take our local train to airport (there is a direct stop). Do most people pay for a car service or Uber for their AP to get to the airport? Also, any recommendations for prepaid luggage/ box shipping?

Eek....we always take our APs to the airport. I dont know what to tell you. You sounds kinda awful.

OP here--

This thread has turned out to be much more polarizing than I'd anticipated.

And what's "kinda awful" are the judgmental responses to simple questions regarding logistics!

To those replies--you have no idea what our work and schedules entail, the type of relationship we have with our AP, the traffic patterns where we live, or the volume of possessions our AP has accumulated during her stay with us. Of course we will send her off with a proper goodbye the night before, but seriously-- our physically taking AP to the airport versus a car service is not going to make or break her year.

But you wanted AP to take the train.

Exactly. Several people had said it’s fine to pay for Uber, especially for a not-so-hot AP. What’s NOT fine is asking AP to pay extra to ship things because she needs to take the train and can’t manage all the luggage, nor is putting the transportation cost on her okay. You are responsible for her transportation to and from your home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our current AP keeps asking me to bring her to the airport for the return trip home. I’m working that day, and suggested she try and pack as lightly as possible and try to send things ahead of time, and then take our local train to airport (there is a direct stop). Do most people pay for a car service or Uber for their AP to get to the airport? Also, any recommendations for prepaid luggage/ box shipping?

Eek....we always take our APs to the airport. I dont know what to tell you. You sounds kinda awful.

OP here--

This thread has turned out to be much more polarizing than I'd anticipated.

And what's "kinda awful" are the judgmental responses to simple questions regarding logistics!

To those replies--you have no idea what our work and schedules entail, the type of relationship we have with our AP, the traffic patterns where we live, or the volume of possessions our AP has accumulated during her stay with us. Of course we will send her off with a proper goodbye the night before, but seriously-- our physically taking AP to the airport versus a car service is not going to make or break her year.

Nasty and a whiner.

[Anonymous]

Former Au Pair here.

What matters, I think, is to be able to have a lovely and warm goodbye - be it at dinner or for a special gathering.

Don't feel guilty if you can't take the Au Pair to the airport, that will absolutely not ruin her year and taking the day off is not easy when you only have two weeks off a year.
As an Au Pair I would prefer for the Host Parents to keep that day off to enjoy with the children.