S/O. I can’t take four months of my employer at home

[Anonymous]

Yeah, that one poster is an asshole. You know she probably only posted that to get a rise out of us because she was pissed off about what she was reading in this thread. Most likely (definitely) because she’s one of the types of people we’re bitching about here.

The truth hurts sometimes, 16:22.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an MB who recently gave birth and let my nanny go when I got home from the hospital. I'd rather not have her around while I'm out on leave, and I don't really need her for the next few months. We'll start fresh with someone new if and when I go back to work. So maybe your employer will do the same, and you won't need to make a decision.

So glad I can afford to stay home and have an awesome nanny that I treat well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an MB who recently gave birth and let my nanny go when I got home from the hospital. I'd rather not have her around while I'm out on leave, and I don't really need her for the next few months. We'll start fresh with someone new if and when I go back to work. So maybe your employer will do the same, and you won't need to make a decision.

So glad I can afford to stay home and have an awesome nanny that I treat well!

+1. My older child loves her nanny of three years. I would never rip her nanny away from her because I was on maternity leave.

[Anonymous]

I am looking at a very similar maternity leave situation in the spring. My three-year-old charge behaves so badly around her mother that I am thinking about giving notice before the new baby is born.

It will be so hard to leave my charge.

[Anonymous]

It feels so good to know that other nannies are in this same situation. My charges are so great and kind when they are alone with me. The moment their mother, who I actually really like, walks in the door the hitting, screaming and spitting (yes, spitting) starts. It is so hard to take!! If my MB ever took and extended or maternity leave and was home, I would have no choice but to quit.

[Anonymous]

Here is why kids act up with mothers around:

Children feel safest with their mothers. Once a mother walks through the door,they are greeted with the uninhibited expression of a raw emotional release, after a day of holding in all kinds of feelings.

https://www.creativehealthyfamily.com/the-reason-why-children-are-800-worse-when-their-mothers-are-around/

Nannies, I know your job is tough but some empathy for the child (and their mother), and the way they are acting, goes a long way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is why kids act up with mothers around:

Children feel safest with their mothers. Once a mother walks through the door,they are greeted with the uninhibited expression of a raw emotional release, after a day of holding in all kinds of feelings.

https://www.creativehealthyfamily.com/the-reason-why-children-are-800-worse-when-their-mothers-are-around/

Nannies, I know your job is tough but some empathy for the child (and their mother), and the way they are acting, goes a long way.

I disagree. I’ve seen plenty of kids behave when parents walk in, because the parents teach self-discipline in a loving manner. Yes, they run to give the parent a hug, but they’re not out of control, and they’re easily redirected back to the nanny until the parent changes, makes dinner and/or finishes working. The difference is that those parents parent their children, they don’t delay or ignore teaching self-discipline in the name of quality time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is why kids act up with mothers around:

Children feel safest with their mothers. Once a mother walks through the door,they are greeted with the uninhibited expression of a raw emotional release, after a day of holding in all kinds of feelings.

https://www.creativehealthyfamily.com/the-reason-why-children-are-800-worse-when-their-mothers-are-around/

Nannies, I know your job is tough but some empathy for the child (and their mother), and the way they are acting, goes a long way.

I disagree. I’ve seen plenty of kids behave when parents walk in, because the parents teach self-discipline in a loving manner. Yes, they run to give the parent a hug, but they’re not out of control, and they’re easily redirected back to the nanny until the parent changes, makes dinner and/or finishes working. The difference is that those parents parent their children, they don’t delay or ignore teaching self-discipline in the name of quality time.

I agree. Far too many WOH mothers give in to every whim and demand of their child because they feel guilty. This is not in their child’s best interest - especially in a case like OP’s employer who will have no choice but to say the occasional “no” when the new baby is born. And then the older child will be heartbroken and resent the baby.

My kids never acted worse with me than with their nanny. It has made for a peaceful home and great relationship with our nanny of seven years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is why kids act up with mothers around:

Children feel safest with their mothers. Once a mother walks through the door,they are greeted with the uninhibited expression of a raw emotional release, after a day of holding in all kinds of feelings.

https://www.creativehealthyfamily.com/the-reason-why-children-are-800-worse-when-their-mothers-are-around/

Nannies, I know your job is tough but some empathy for the child (and their mother), and the way they are acting, goes a long way.

No. This is only partially true and certainly not the case in OP’s situation. I echo the above that many, many working mothers feel guilt for being away from their child and give in just to be “popular” and have a peaceful evening. In some ways, I see a correlation between this generation of working mothers and the old “weekend Dad”.

I am a working mother too so I understand the desire. I truly do. But it is important for parents to be true parents. The parents should be firmer and set expectations - not the nanny.

I hope OP had a good conversation with her employer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is why kids act up with mothers around:

Children feel safest with their mothers. Once a mother walks through the door,they are greeted with the uninhibited expression of a raw emotional release, after a day of holding in all kinds of feelings.

https://www.creativehealthyfamily.com/the-reason-why-children-are-800-worse-when-their-mothers-are-around/

Nannies, I know your job is tough but some empathy for the child (and their mother), and the way they are acting, goes a long way.

[b]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! No, the kids don’t behave because parents usually don’t discipline them properly. They have working mom or dad guilt and don’t want to spend the few minutes they have with their kids doing the work (ie: discipline) and so kids learn they don’t have to behave with their parents. It’s pretty simple!