Racist nanny?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny sounds ignorant and I would fire her a$$. However, if I wasn’t going to fire her, this is how it would go:

I would be respectful and let her know that her comment was 1. Inappropriate 2. Did not sit well with you and 3. Those types of remarks will not be tolerated in MY home. I would then go on and express that we want to raise our son or daughter, in a world were he/she does not see color nor judge people based on the color of their skin. And if we were ever to find out that someone was discussing race around my child without consent, we would have to let them go. We appreciate you and our child/children love you. I hope that we have never done or said anything that may have offended you or made you feel uncomfortable, and in the event that that were to happen, please come and talk to us.

At 30 years old, no matter where you’re from, we all know how sensitive this topic is. Especially in today’s society. You should never talk badly about another person to your employer, ESPECIALLY, when it’s based on race.

Please don’t come here with your colorblind racism. Color is color and it cannot and should not be ignored. We should not teach our children to ignore color. However, we should teach them that we are all different but in many ways we are also similar. Ignoring color ignores all the struggles and oppression that POC have had to go through for hundreds of years. I think it is important to talk to children about racism etc. Of course this nanny said that she felt uncomfortable with so many black people around and that can cause unconscious or conscious thoughts to a child. In this case, the mother should request that the nanny not make negative or racist comments about race in front of her child. Instead, the nanny and mother should strive to teach the child love and respect for others. (I just took a race, class and gender course and I learned a lot so sorry if this is too much, but I cannot stand it now when people say they don’t see color)

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean you don’t ever want her to refer to race about DD? I’d say wait and see if it comes up again. It is quite obvious when people are racist, but this don’t necessarily make her racist. Just wait it out to see if she makes comments like this again.

She was nervous because there were so many black people... that is racist. Not "so many people" but" so many black people". Straight up racist comment which does make her a racist.

I would start looking for another nanny.

She could have been nervous because there were a lot of people. It could have had nothing to do with the fact that they were black. I used to comment about how I hated it when my metro train was full and I couldn't get a seat. It was full of Indians. Saying that doesn't make me a racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny sounds ignorant and I would fire her a$$. However, if I wasn’t going to fire her, this is how it would go:

I would be respectful and let her know that her comment was 1. Inappropriate 2. Did not sit well with you and 3. Those types of remarks will not be tolerated in MY home. I would then go on and express that we want to raise our son or daughter, in a world were he/she does not see color nor judge people based on the color of their skin. And if we were ever to find out that someone was discussing race around my child without consent, we would have to let them go. We appreciate you and our child/children love you. I hope that we have never done or said anything that may have offended you or made you feel uncomfortable, and in the event that that were to happen, please come and talk to us.

At 30 years old, no matter where you’re from, we all know how sensitive this topic is. Especially in today’s society. You should never talk badly about another person to your employer, ESPECIALLY, when it’s based on race.

Have you really not heard tons of people say that this is the dumbest thing ever? My friend WANTS her son's friends to notice that he's black, because he approaches certain situation differently than his white friends. Saying you're colorblind makes you seem like an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
She could have been nervous because there were a lot of people. It could have had nothing to do with the fact that they were black. I used to comment about how I hated it when my metro train was full and I couldn't get a seat. It was full of Indians. Saying that doesn't make me a racist.

Are you being purposefully obtuse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean you don’t ever want her to refer to race about DD? I’d say wait and see if it comes up again. It is quite obvious when people are racist, but this don’t necessarily make her racist. Just wait it out to see if she makes comments like this again.

She was nervous because there were so many black people... that is racist. Not "so many people" but" so many black people". Straight up racist comment which does make her a racist.

I would start looking for another nanny.

Yep. My housekeeper/nanny has said similar things. I responded with something like, "Why? What about black people makes you nervous? They're just people." And then I dropped it. The third time she said something like that without thinking, she actually apologized to me the next day and said that was not the kind of person she thought she was.

She's an older, white Southern woman from rural Alabama. I was on the verge of letting her go, but she doesn't have that much interaction with my kids anymore, she did seem to gain some insight, and it has never happened again. I don't for a minute think it would have stopped if I hadn't said something, though.

Older “southern” woman, from the south? She knew what she was saying but she was smart to cover it up to keep her job!

I, the employer in this situation, am also a "southern" woman from Alabama, less than a decade younger than her. I currently live in Georgia. I know it's hard to believe, but there are actually people here who think racism is bad, even if they perhaps have not reflected on their own behavior as much as some others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny sounds ignorant and I would fire her a$$. However, if I wasn’t going to fire her, this is how it would go:

I would be respectful and let her know that her comment was 1. Inappropriate 2. Did not sit well with you and 3. Those types of remarks will not be tolerated in MY home. I would then go on and express that we want to raise our son or daughter, in a world were he/she does not see color nor judge people based on the color of their skin. And if we were ever to find out that someone was discussing race around my child without consent, we would have to let them go. We appreciate you and our child/children love you. I hope that we have never done or said anything that may have offended you or made you feel uncomfortable, and in the event that that were to happen, please come and talk to us.

At 30 years old, no matter where you’re from, we all know how sensitive this topic is. Especially in today’s society. You should never talk badly about another person to your employer, ESPECIALLY, when it’s based on race.

Have you really not heard tons of people say that this is the dumbest thing ever? My friend WANTS her son's friends to notice that he's black, because he approaches certain situation differently than his white friends. Saying you're colorblind makes you seem like an idiot.

As a black woman, I never heard anyone say this. When black people reference "we don't want our children to judge people based on their skin color (see color)" that doesn't mean that we don't talk to our children about racism (when they're old enough to understand). That doesn't mean we don't talk to our children about where we came from and what we been through. That doesn't mean we don't share our own personally experience and sometimes watch our children get upset. That doesn't mean we don't explain why we can't do everything a white person can do. I tell my kids don't judge people based of their skin because that's RACIST! Pay attention to the actual person, get to know them and then you can judge. Saying "we don't see color" is me saying "i'm not going in this restaurant because these people are too rowdy or its too crowded." Instead of saying "I'm not going to go in this restaurant because its a bunch of white people and I know i'm going to be uncomfortable." Its a lot I can say but I'm going to exit before I start quoting people. And to the other pp- with all these black people dying at the hands of white people, trust and believe I talk to my kids because I want them to know about our history and I want them to love themselves and know that they are beautiful, worthy and can do and be whatever they want and their skin color cannot stop them. But my comment was from the perspective of a non- black parent and what they can say because I'm sure they were uncomfortable and that would be an uncomfortable conversation. Because if OP was black, she would have been working from home that day, because nanny would have been relieved and informed her services is no longer needed. We wouldn't be uncomfortable but we would be furious. #wakandaforever

[Anonymous]

Op, I’d immediately confront that nanny as soon as those words came out of her mouth. I wouldn’t want that racist anywhere near my kids, and I’m sure you don’t, either. Fire her as soon as possible!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean you don’t ever want her to refer to race about DD? I’d say wait and see if it comes up again. It is quite obvious when people are racist, but this don’t necessarily make her racist. Just wait it out to see if she makes comments like this again.

She was nervous because there were so many black people... that is racist. Not "so many people" but" so many black people". Straight up racist comment which does make her a racist.

I would start looking for another nanny.

She could have been nervous because there were a lot of people. It could have had nothing to do with the fact that they were black. I used to comment about how I hated it when my metro train was full and I couldn't get a seat. It was full of Indians. Saying that doesn't make me a racist.

Yes, it does, sweetie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny sounds ignorant and I would fire her a$$. However, if I wasn’t going to fire her, this is how it would go:

I would be respectful and let her know that her comment was 1. Inappropriate 2. Did not sit well with you and 3. Those types of remarks will not be tolerated in MY home. I would then go on and express that we want to raise our son or daughter, in a world were he/she does not see color nor judge people based on the color of their skin. And if we were ever to find out that someone was discussing race around my child without consent, we would have to let them go. We appreciate you and our child/children love you. I hope that we have never done or said anything that may have offended you or made you feel uncomfortable, and in the event that that were to happen, please come and talk to us.

At 30 years old, no matter where you’re from, we all know how sensitive this topic is. Especially in today’s society. You should never talk badly about another person to your employer, ESPECIALLY, when it’s based on race.

Have you really not heard tons of people say that this is the dumbest thing ever? My friend WANTS her son's friends to notice that he's black, because he approaches certain situation differently than his white friends. Saying you're colorblind makes you seem like an idiot.

Preach! This South Asian American Mama would be right along with you.

As a black woman, I never heard anyone say this. When black people reference "we don't want our children to judge people based on their skin color (see color)" that doesn't mean that we don't talk to our children about racism (when they're old enough to understand). That doesn't mean we don't talk to our children about where we came from and what we been through. That doesn't mean we don't share our own personally experience and sometimes watch our children get upset. That doesn't mean we don't explain why we can't do everything a white person can do. I tell my kids don't judge people based of their skin because that's RACIST! Pay attention to the actual person, get to know them and then you can judge. Saying "we don't see color" is me saying "i'm not going in this restaurant because these people are too rowdy or its too crowded." Instead of saying "I'm not going to go in this restaurant because its a bunch of white people and I know i'm going to be uncomfortable." Its a lot I can say but I'm going to exit before I start quoting people. And to the other pp- with all these black people dying at the hands of white people, trust and believe I talk to my kids because I want them to know about our history and I want them to love themselves and know that they are beautiful, worthy and can do and be whatever they want and their skin color cannot stop them. But my comment was from the perspective of a non- black parent and what they can say because I'm sure they were uncomfortable and that would be an uncomfortable conversation. Because if OP was black, she would have been working from home that day, because nanny would have been relieved and informed her services is no longer needed. We wouldn't be uncomfortable but we would be furious. #wakandaforever