I think great nanny smokes in her car on the way to my house, what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's her car and if she wants to smoke in it, she can. You don't like it, fire her. However I have a feeling that no nanny stays with you very long.

Oh please, we've always made it perfectly clear that we will not hire a smoking nanny and had no trouble finding one the first or second time around (the second time around was because we moved).

OP, I also ask our nannies not to wear perfume because I'm very sensitive to it and it'll make me sneeze and get stuffed up all day. They have always said that's fine. So try that and then see. I think cigarette smoke is totally detectable, so if she really did smoke in her car you would probably know. It's more likely that she has been with someone who smokes, which would bother me if she then wore those same clothes to my house.

[Anonymous]

Is she married? Is it possible that she shares a car with a smoker and therefore picks up the scent that way?

This is hard OP. I would definitely try to talk with her, but in the gentlest (yet straightforward) way possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is completely insane. She's smoking on her own time in her own car. You're a head case.

I'd add...OP isn't even sure that she IS smoking. She might live with a smoker. She might smell like something else. IME, cigarette smoke is a pretty distinctive smell, and people who have very recently smoked smell like it. If the nanny only "maybe" smells like smoke, she might not even be smoking. You'd fire someone because she' maybe smoked but you're not even sure?

[Anonymous]

In this day & age....
W/all the known dangers of tobacco usage (cancer, premature death, emphysema, heart disease, etc.) anyone who puts a cigarette in their mouth is just an idiot.

Period.

And you do not want an idiot responsible for your child’s care.

So issue her her walking papers + look for someone smart enough to never even put such a disgusting thing in their mouths.

Smokers are so classless and trashy.

[Anonymous]

it isn't your business if she smokes on her own time. you don't own this woman, she takes care of your kids and that's it.

if you're so concerned then just ask her-this is adult life, not a nancy drew novel. if she says yes and you want to fire her, go for it. good luck replacing her. if you were my employer and you dared to question what i do when i'm off the clock to determine if i'm good enough for you, i would quit. you're way over the line.

[Anonymous]

Talk to her. Let her know your concerns and express how much you appreciate her. Smoking is a nasty habit to quit and is unhealthy for the nanny, you and your family. I would suggesting asking her (make sure you ask if it’s her smoking first) to change her clothes (freshen up) and make sure she doesn’t smoke on the job- which I’m sure she doesn’t because that means termination, immediately! Ask her to leave her clothes outside the home or in her car. If this is something that you wouldn’t consider, then yes, you’ll need to let her go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it isn't your business if she smokes on her own time. you don't own this woman, she takes care of your kids and that's it.

if you're so concerned then just ask her-this is adult life, not a nancy drew novel. if she says yes and you want to fire her, go for it. good luck replacing her. if you were my employer and you dared to question what i do when i'm off the clock to determine if i'm good enough for you, i would quit. you're way over the line.

OP, don't listen to this nanny. What your nanny does when they're off the clock if it affects your child absolutely is your business. Under PP's logic, she could stay out all night drinking and then come to work and it would be fine.

[Anonymous]

I’d fire her.

I wouldn’t hire a smoker or someone who smells like smoke. I’m a nanny, but highly allergic to smoke.

What a nanny does on her own time is fine, but smoking carries over to your job no matter how discreet you think you are...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's her car and if she wants to smoke in it, she can. You don't like it, fire her. However I have a feeling that no nanny stays with you very long.

This...

[Anonymous]

Have you tried talking to her about her perfume?

Smoking is gross and smelly but not illegal. If she continues to smell like smoke or perfume you can let her go because it's not a good fit but it's worth a conversation. I would not hire a smoker from the get go.

[Anonymous]

She might be vaping in the morning or in her car. If she's using a flavored nicotine juice, that could explain the perfume smell because the vapor she's blowing out would have a scent.

[Anonymous]

No scents in the house due to allergies here. This would have been pointed out as we started though.

I would ask her straight out. "Do you smoke? Because I can smell it when you come in."

If there are no health issues (I'm guessing not given the perfume) then have her change and wash her hands when she gets there.

[Anonymous]

Sad, but start looking for another replacement.

[Anonymous]

Our nanny started smelling strongly like smoke for several weeks. As we really got along well with her, (and we were willing to give her a second chance) we brought this up in a meeting. We mentioned that we were concerned about our son and secondhand smoke, and we needed to come to a solution to the problem. We mentioned that if she was not willing to give up smoking or that we would ask her to shower and have a changes of clothes (launderednand stored at our house) when she came to work.

She said was her boyfriend who had smoking again in the house. Whether that was true or not, that weekend she had him start smoking outside, washed all of her belongings and when she showed up to work on Monday We detected no smoke.