Do they all start strong, then slack off?

[Anonymous]

it sounds like with the stroller you expect her to fold and lift something that you yourself find unmanageable. that is unreasonable-she is there to provide childcare, not hoist heavy things into your car just because you feel she should be young and healthy enough to do it.
you shouldn't expect another person to do something that you wouldn't do. for example, if you were caring for your 18 month old twins all day and they went down for an hour nap, would you then spend that hour on your hands and knees cleaning the house? no, because you would need to rest before they woke up and you did it all again. you need to consider your expectations, adjust them if necessary, and make sure they are clear to whoever you hire. the job you're asking for sounds like a lot of work, and you're going to need to compensate the person adequately or they're unlikely to exert much effort.

[Anonymous]

You did not hire grown ups, OP, and probably are not paying well. I have never heard of anyone going through that many nannies in such a short time!! Law of averages, OP - you are the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aside from cleaning the trays you sound like a micro manager.

Why buy a stroller that you find to heavy to lift into the car? Sell it and buy another lightweight one if you need 2.

If she brushes their teeth after dinner and you do them at breakfast it would make sense the brushes have dried. If you are going behind her checking, then you are a micro manager.

OP again. No, the brushes are dry WHEN I GET HOME, 15 minutes after she supposedly brushed their teeth. Why are you assuming that I don't see them until the next time I need to use them? They're sitting on the counter, obviously unused. I'm going to see them, even if I'm not intentionally looking for them.

For the people saying this is my fault, because we've been through 6 people in a year: one au pair was kicked out of the au pair program and sent home for multiple egregious violations. We then took a rematch au pair whose English was terrible, out of desperation because the au pair agency didn't have any good replacements for us. She didn't even understand what we told her to do, and was overwhelmed if we left her alone with both kids at all. Then we fired her and the au pair agency. We had a decent local nanny last summer, but she was a college student who couldn't work the hours we needed once classes started in the fall. She still babysits for us occasionally.

People keep asking me if I did trial days-- YES, I did that with the local candidates (obviously it's not possible with an au pair), and 2 candidates failed their trial days. Isn't that the whole point of trial days, that you can get rid of the really terrible people immediately? If everyone left for the same reasons, I would think it was me, but if one is violating her au pair visa 6 different ways, one doesn't understand English, one is too busy to do this job now, and 2 failed their trial days because they couldn't even feed my kids lunch or do their laundry properly, I don't see a pattern-- except that they all got worse over time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have not only gone through an unusually high amount of Nannies OP, but your expectations are really through the roof.

Caring for young twins can be quite the challenge & it seems your Nannies are expected to do many other things besides childcare.

If a Nanny does not remove balls from under the couch, then that is truly okay.
...................................................
It appears that it will be difficult for you to keep an in-home childcare provider.

Your best bet would be a daycare for your children.

Good luck!

What part of this isn't childcare? Putting a stroller in the car? Brushing their teeth? Cleaning their high chair trays? Keeping a humidifer running for them (recommended by their pediatrician due to preemie health issues)? Keeping their toys organized and off the floor at the end of the day? If someone can't do these things, why would I pay them money? I know the entitled nanny trolls here think they should make $30/hour as long as they manage to keep the kids breathing, but no one is paying out the nose for a nanny who sits on her lazy butt all day watching TV.

[Anonymous]

If you've been through that many caregivers, the problem is 100% you. I don't know if it's your interviewing techniques, the age you're hiring, the overall job benefits (not just pay, but you need to have a consistent schedule, paid time off, not be a micromanager etc). There's something about YOU, your personality, your job package, where you live, your communication style, etc that's causing this problem.

When the nanny hopped in the car did you ask her to get out and help you? If not, then you lose the right to complain. She's not a mind reader. Something about your demeanor led her to believe you didn't need or want help.

The high chair should be an obvious thing to clean, but give her the benefit of the doubt and ask her to do it. Make a list of all the things you need her to do on a daily basis. Again, she's not a mind reader and if something wasn't "part of the job" with previous jobs, she may not realize it's something you want her to do.

Out of curiosity, why does she need to brush their teeth after dinner? Aren't you brushing them at bedtime? And for the record when I brush kids teeth I'm not staring into their mouths, so I wouldn't necessarily know whether they were teething either, unless I stuck my finger in there to find out.

There's a lot of things you just need to unclench and let go, and a lot of things you need to communicate better. The fact you have had so many caregivers in such a short time underscores that the problem is with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it sounds like with the stroller you expect her to fold and lift something that you yourself find unmanageable. that is unreasonable-she is there to provide childcare, not hoist heavy things into your car just because you feel she should be young and healthy enough to do it.
you shouldn't expect another person to do something that you wouldn't do. for example, if you were caring for your 18 month old twins all day and they went down for an hour nap, would you then spend that hour on your hands and knees cleaning the house? no, because you would need to rest before they woke up and you did it all again. you need to consider your expectations, adjust them if necessary, and make sure they are clear to whoever you hire. the job you're asking for sounds like a lot of work, and you're going to need to compensate the person adequately or they're unlikely to exert much effort.

So, hypothetically, if I become more disabled than I am now, and cannot lift the stroller at all because I'm in a wheelchair, then I can't hire someone to do it for me, because I can't do it myself? That is absurd. I also hire people to plow my driveway and shovel the sidewalk in the winter because I physically can't do it. Is that also not allowed, in your judgment? Do you know how many office jobs list something like "must be able to lift 40 pounds" as a requirement, even if the job rarely or never requires it (including the job I currently have)? If you think people cannot be required to lift something heavy that is a normal piece of equipment used in their job, you are delusional. I would never knowingly hire a nanny who can't or won't lift a stroller, just like I wouldn't hire someone to shovel snow if they can't lift a shovel in cold weather.

And actually, YES, I do clean when my twins take a nap! Because my lazy nanny doesn't, so I have to.

[Anonymous]

OP, it is you. Honestly. No good employer ever goes thru that many nannies in a short period of time. And by your posts, I can sense that you are a very angry woman.

We have had our nanny for over ten years - she has been fantastic and never once slacked off and I also have twins and a single.

Not everyone is cut out to be an employer to a nanny. I think you will be much happier with a really good daycare.

"If one person tells you that you are a horse, you can tell them to go to hell. If ten people tell you that you are a horse, you should buy yourself a saddle." Yes, OP - the problem is you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have not only gone through an unusually high amount of Nannies OP, but your expectations are really through the roof.

Caring for young twins can be quite the challenge & it seems your Nannies are expected to do many other things besides childcare.

If a Nanny does not remove balls from under the couch, then that is truly okay.
...................................................
It appears that it will be difficult for you to keep an in-home childcare provider.

Your best bet would be a daycare for your children.

Good luck!

What part of this isn't childcare? Putting a stroller in the car? Brushing their teeth? Cleaning their high chair trays? Keeping a humidifer running for them (recommended by their pediatrician due to preemie health issues)? Keeping their toys organized and off the floor at the end of the day? If someone can't do these things, why would I pay them money? I know the entitled nanny trolls here think they should make $30/hour as long as they manage to keep the kids breathing, but no one is paying out the nose for a nanny who sits on her lazy butt all day watching TV.

Please stop, OP. You are embarrassing yourself. You need to calm down and look honestly at your anger and bitterness issues. Do you honestly thing that you are not responsible for your "nanny situation"? Do you think that those of us who have posted about how happy we are with our ONE nanny are lying or just got lucky?

Calm down and consider daycare.

[Anonymous]

To clarify, OP didn’t go through 6 nannies. 2 were for trial days only? 2 were au pairs that really didn’t work out and one was a college student that works the summer only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To clarify, OP didn’t go through 6 nannies. 2 were for trial days only? 2 were au pairs that really didn’t work out and one was a college student that works the summer only.

And this one. That is five nannies that haven't worked out. She wasn't satisfied in the "trial days" and two au pairs didn't work out. That is a lot.

It has to be OP.

[Anonymous]

And this one. That is five nannies that haven't worked out. She wasn't satisfied in the "trial days" and two au pairs didn't work out. That is a lot.

It has to be OP.

I wouldn't count the two trial nannies at all; that's why she did trial days and did not hire them. APs are different than nannies, so they don't count either.

However, 18 month-old twins have to be very demanding, and I suspect many nannies would not do well in this situation. Add cleaning to the mix, and you're probably asking more than most nannies can deliver. Maybe consider hiring a cleaning service until the twins are a little easier to take care of?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And this one. That is five nannies that haven't worked out. She wasn't satisfied in the "trial days" and two au pairs didn't work out. That is a lot.

It has to be OP.

I wouldn't count the two trial nannies at all; that's why she did trial days and did not hire them. APs are different than nannies, so they don't count either.

However, 18 month-old twins have to be very demanding, and I suspect many nannies would not do well in this situation. Add cleaning to the mix, and you're probably asking more than most nannies can deliver. Maybe consider hiring a cleaning service until the twins are a little easier to take care of?

How does hiring a cleaning service that comes every week or two help with the fact that she doesn't clean the high chair trays, food dropped on the floor, spills, etc., after every meal? I'm not asking her to scrub toilets or vacuum, I'm asking her to not feed my children off of dirty trays or leave pieces of fruit and chicken on the floor after every meal. Unless I'm hiring a live-in cleaner to follow her around all day, that won't help. We already clean constantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And this one. That is five nannies that haven't worked out. She wasn't satisfied in the "trial days" and two au pairs didn't work out. That is a lot.

It has to be OP.

I wouldn't count the two trial nannies at all; that's why she did trial days and did not hire them. APs are different than nannies, so they don't count either.

However, 18 month-old twins have to be very demanding, and I suspect many nannies would not do well in this situation. Add cleaning to the mix, and you're probably asking more than most nannies can deliver. Maybe consider hiring a cleaning service until the twins are a little easier to take care of?

How does hiring a cleaning service that comes every week or two help with the fact that she doesn't clean the high chair trays, food dropped on the floor, spills, etc., after every meal? I'm not asking her to scrub toilets or vacuum, I'm asking her to not feed my children off of dirty trays or leave pieces of fruit and chicken on the floor after every meal. Unless I'm hiring a live-in cleaner to follow her around all day, that won't help. We already clean constantly.

You're not asking that much. I've been a nanny for 12 years, everything you've listed is common sense stuff to just clean up after yourself/the kid in the most basic way possible. Sure, sometimes we all miss stuff but 90% of the time everything should be cleaned. The only thing I don't do that you mentioned is pick toys up before I leave for the day because my NK will be awake another 2 hours (I do straighten up during nap time).

Do you think you didn't communicate what the job entailed properly? Is your nanny very young?

[Anonymous]

Just like any good manager, do not ask your employees to do something that you are not willing to do.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here- I never slack off even after 22 years. When the kids have downtime then that is my down time but I am always on.