Nanny is tough

[Anonymous]

DS had a nanny for two years who was the same kind of tough. I thought she was a little too strict at times but DS always behaved so much better with her than he did with me.

Funny thing is that DS loves her more, I think, because of the unmovable boundaries. She had to leave us when her husband got a job in Baltimore - that was three months ago - and DS still talks about her all the time. He loved the boundaries, I think. I learned a valuable lesson from her.

[Anonymous]

Another thumbs up for nanny. Looks like she is using that ECE degree well. Never give attention to a child having a tantrum otherwise they will seek it every time during a tantrum: it’s important to correct behavior only when the child is calm. This teaches them two things. One, tantrums aren’t acceptable and two you will get attention when you are calm. By the time the child is 4 or 5 years old those tantrums will completely disappear, that is if nanny’s approach is consistent.

[Anonymous]

MB here. I love your nanny's approach and I strive to be that good w/ my own kids.

We say a child psychiatrist once who said to us "Pretend you're the preschool teacher, not the parent. The teacher takes no flak from anyone, takes nothing personally, keeps moving forward and keeps structure in place."

It was great advice.

Your nanny sounds fantastic.

[Anonymous]

There is rarely a thread on this forum that get 100% agreement, OP. Your nanny sounds great! Try to follow her lead and the tantrums will be minimized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a great nanny who has been with our family since DD - now 2 - was born. She is fantastic and in no way in danger of losing her job with us. She has a degree in ECD and was a preschool teacher for many years. She and I agree on positive discipline, engagement, talking, etc. The only difference is that Nanny will simply ignore DD when she throws a tantrum about something. Nanny explains once and never gives in. After the tantrum, she and DD talk about what happened. Nanny also has a naturally stern voice and, I think, sometimes she scares DD.

DH and I are far more willing to give in a little when possible.

Just wondering if this is going to be a problem. DD loves her nanny so much and I don't want this to change.

Thanks.

That's not tough, that's perfectly appropriate. You're the mom so the sight of your child in tears and screams naturally moves you. The nanny knows the tears and screams are just a tactic to get what your DD wants so she's unmoved by what you see as signs of distress. Good job.