Love our nanny so much that sometimes I ignore certain things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16 months is not too young for playdates but you should certainly know where your child is at all times and get to approve of where they are going. Our nanny is amazing about keeping DD, now 22 months, engaged and socialized but I always know exactly where she is and know all of her playdate/playgroup friends. Are there any classes that nanny could take your daughter to?

She sounds like a loving and good nanny, btw, but not knowing the people your baby is with or where she is is simply not acceptable.

Op here. Classes are a good idea! I'm going to check on that!

[Anonymous]

Hey OP, I always think the direct route is best.

"I am new to this and the last thing I want to do is offend you because we love you so much, but it makes me uncomfortable when I don't know where DD is. Let's get in the habit of texting..."

OP I am a worrier by nature but you need to know that this is how kids end up getting hurt or abused. It's not someone snatching them off the street, it's neighbors and "friends" who are subtle. Not Nanny of course but who exactly is at all these other houses? I know I might sound crazy but it wouldn't be okay with me.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP but you sound completely clueless. Your 'great' nanny is actually a really bad nanny. It's just basic childcare to put babies on a schedule and introduce solids. Everything else she is doing would get her fired by most families.

She's out an about after 12:30? When is the afternoon nap happening? When she's being overstimulated with th pigs and nannys friends and family? Sleep is important for brain development. Why isn't nanny planning play dates with kids your child's age? Why isn't she taking her to classes instead of going to visit her family every day? Of course in front of you she is singing and reading- do you think this continues when she's off visiting friends? Get a clue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP but you sound completely clueless. Your 'great' nanny is actually a really bad nanny. It's just basic childcare to put babies on a schedule and introduce solids. Everything else she is doing would get her fired by most families.

She's out an about after 12:30? When is the afternoon nap happening? When she's being overstimulated with th pigs and nannys friends and family? Sleep is important for brain development. Why isn't nanny planning play dates with kids your child's age? Why isn't she taking her to classes instead of going to visit her family every day? Of course in front of you she is singing and reading- do you think this continues when she's off visiting friends? Get a clue.

Op here. DD will only take a morning nap. This really isn't the nanny's fault-we've tried moving it to the afternoon (I myself have worked on this on weekends and time off, the nap happens in the morning or not at all). It just doesn't work. DD sleeps from about 10:30-12 or 12:30.

I know I haven't handled this the best but I do work from home so I'm seeing/hearing/aware of what's happening from 7/8 am until 12:30 when they leave for the afternoon. She's extremely engaged when they are here, I can hear them from where in working and I pop in and out.

Anyway I just spoke to her using some of the language suggested by a PP. I think it went well. I printed out a list of classes for next week I'd like them to try out. The problem is the classes all conflict with nap time, except for one I found at 3. We've got to figure out how to push morning nap back. I told her we need to know where they are at all times and that I only want them to go to places and be with people I have met.

I know I've been too passive but I have tried to do things to just sort of check on the situation (i.e.-I've popped in on them at her house on short notice and ususally go there at least once a week to drop off treats and say hi to everyone and pick up DD).

To a pp-abuse really scares me too.

[Anonymous]

I never minded the visiting, as long as I felt like everything else was happening like it should. My nanny sometimes took the kids to her mom's house to jump on the trampoline, but they never missed a nap or a class.

[Anonymous]

She didn’t understand what it would be like to work for a SAHM and she spends that much time out of the house to avoid you (probably not because she doesn’t like you, but because the boss/employee dynamic can be awkward)

[Anonymous]

OP: I actually think your nanny sounds mostly great. Visiting her friends if they have kids is just like play dates with other nannies, I have no idea why people are acting like it’s different. If you live in an area with few nannies, it totally makes sense that this is where she finds socialization for your DD. Mention your issues to her, but I personally think your nanny sounds fine and you shouldn’t be turned off by reactions in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Is your nanny hispani, Latino or of similar ethnicity? You mentioned her family speaks Spanish. If so, the calling the nanny mama (I would put the annunciation on it if I could) is a very normal cultural thing. They don't mean it in the traditional 'mother' sense of the word.

[Anonymous]

^hispanic

[Anonymous]

I wonder how many things she ignores about you!

[Anonymous]

Agreed to the above. I live in LAabd the housekeeper calles the kids "Mama". When she comes to work she even runs up to the dogs and says "Heyyyy mama!!". She's probably calling your child mama and she's repeating it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your nanny hispani, Latino or of similar ethnicity? You mentioned her family speaks Spanish. If so, the calling the nanny mama (I would put the annunciation on it if I could) is a very normal cultural thing. They don't mean it in the traditional 'mother' sense of the word.

I'm hispanic, Central American, and that is new to me. I have never heard strangers call someone mama if it's not their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many things she ignores about you!

Op here. Believe me I worry about this. I really try not to be annoying but imagine there are things I do that irritate her. I know this posting didn't present her in the best light, but she truly is a wonderful nanny and person overall.

By way of update, I spoke to her a couple weeks ago, focusing only on needing to know where they are at all times. Nanny has been better about telling me and sending pictures when they are out and about. Things did seem a little awkward for a couple days after, but are good now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many things she ignores about you!

Op here. Believe me I worry about this. I really try not to be annoying but imagine there are things I do that irritate her. I know this posting didn't present her in the best light, but she truly is a wonderful nanny and person overall.

By way of update, I spoke to her a couple weeks ago, focusing only on needing to know where they are at all times. Nanny has been better about telling me and sending pictures when they are out and about. Things did seem a little awkward for a couple days after, but are good now.

Probably because she made the decision that it is time for her to move on and is actively looking jfor a new ob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many things she ignores about you!

Op here. Believe me I worry about this. I really try not to be annoying but imagine there are things I do that irritate her. I know this posting didn't present her in the best light, but she truly is a wonderful nanny and person overall.

By way of update, I spoke to her a couple weeks ago, focusing only on needing to know where they are at all times. Nanny has been better about telling me and sending pictures when they are out and about. Things did seem a little awkward for a couple days after, but are good now.

Good, OP.