birthday card/gift for kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - absolutely not about the money and that’s why I said I didn’t expect a gift, but she could have made a card (the kids are making stuff with paper and markers and craft stuff all day long, she could have used that stuff). She is not Jehovah’s Witness (was also one of my thoughts - is she and I didn’t know?! But she isn’t.) They didn’t do any special outings or anything. Whatever, I’ll get over it but I think it is thoughtless and possibly indicative of a not great bond with my DD.

You can say it isn't about money but it is definitely about material things--card and/or present. Fire her and when you hire new nanny make sure your contract has a clause that nanny must give birthday card and present to assuage your fears of her not having a great bond with your DD.

Do you ever listen to yourself?

[Anonymous]

She's only been there for six months and your child is five now? Presumably your daughter is in preschool, so that limits the hours she's actually with the nanny. IME, it's more difficult to bond with a specific child in those circumstances, especially if there are at two kids and no one-on-one time. I give gifts (material) when I choose, and I make sure to balance it in my head so nobody feels someone else got something better/bigger, but sometimes that means smaller (or no) gifts during the first six months to a year with the family, especially if I feel the kids already have too many things or that they wouldn't be grateful for something small. On the other hand, i habitually do extra things for and with my charges, and they know when I love them. Oh, and a bond is two-sided, so if the child is less inclined than I am, I back off (frequent with kids who are at least 4 when I start).

[Anonymous]

Remember OP:
Nannies do not make as much as other careers do.

She may have paid rent, bills, bought groceries and just had her car repaired.

If she is a parent, then a zillion other expenses.

You say a paper card would suffice but I doubt it would for YOU.

Perhaps this should be a sign for a much needed raise.