birthday card/gift for kid

[Anonymous]

Our nanny, who has been with us for about 6 months, did nothing at all to mark my daughter's birthday. She was 5, so had been talking about it a lot and we had also mentioned it to our nanny so there is no way that she didn't know it was coming. I was really not expecting a big gift or anything like that, honestly just a card would have been fine (although previous nannies have all given gifts to all of my children - and in fact, the 5 year old's previous nanny sent her a card and gift for this birthday). Our nanny joined us for birthday cake and celebrations so she was included in our family's celebration of the day. I didn't even hear her say "happy birthday" to my DD, although she may have done. My DD didn't seem to notice or care, but I am upset by this. FWIW, we made a big deal out of nanny's birthday - we baked her a cake, got her a nice gift, kids made cards, we made banners and put up balloons, etc, and she seemed really happy with all of that. I guess there are some people who don't celebrate birthdays, but even if adults don't, kids definitely do. What do you think? Am I being unreasonable to expect this?

[Anonymous]

I think you should just accept it and move on. Your daughter didn't even notice. You getting and staying angry will just lead to nitpicking at things about the nanny you don't like.

Move on. Keeping score with people never leads anywhere good. So she's not super into celebrating other people's birthdays. So what? Now you know. Maybe next year for her birthday you'll go a little more low key. Or not, if YOU like celebrating other people's birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Why should she? I have a small business and I do not give my employees presents or cards.

[Anonymous]

This is her job. No need for her to give you gifts.

[Anonymous]

Our nanny did the same. Frankly I was a little upset, not because a gift is required, because it certainly isn't,but because it was evidence of the lack of a bond between the nanny and my child. While caring for the child is indeed a job, it was my hope that the nanny would develop some affection for my daughter as well.

[Anonymous]

These nannies want $30/hr but they don't have the common sense to know that they should get their five year old charge a birthday present or card?

It is absolutely her job to give the child a little special acknowledgement for her freaking birthday. Birthdays are really special days for little kids.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. Yours is ungrateful, it looks like she doesn't care about your DD. Next time you shouldn't make a big deal out of her birthday, she doesn't deserve it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is her job. No need for her to give you gifts.

This.


How much is she getting paid? I wouldn't spend my paycheck on gifts....bills and groceries are more important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is her job. No need for her to give you gifts.

This.


How much is she getting paid? I wouldn't spend my paycheck on gifts....bills and groceries are more important.

You can make a card out of 10 cents of paper. It's the acknowledgment that matters.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and I would be upset by this as well.

Is she foreign, OP?

[Anonymous]

Is she jehovahs witness? Maybe she doesn't celebrate for religious reasons.

Or maybe she already gave your child something during the day when you weren't around? Or maybe they went on a special outing instead of an actual gift? My point is its possible to give gifts without being showy about it.

[Anonymous]

Just tone down the nanny birthday next year, save your own $$, and all will be well. Gifts should never be mandatory but there is something to be said for the thought that counts. Sounds like she was thoughtless but it's a small thing if she is a good caregiver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she jehovahs witness? Maybe she doesn't celebrate for religious reasons.

Or maybe she already gave your child something during the day when you weren't around? Or maybe they went on a special outing instead of an actual gift? My point is its possible to give gifts without being showy about it.

This is the first thing I thought of - the nanny is a Jehovah's Witness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These nannies want $30/hr but they don't have the common sense to know that they should get their five year old charge a birthday present or card?

It is absolutely her job to give the child a little special acknowledgement for her freaking birthday. Birthdays are really special days for little kids.

Then OP should have given nanny the money to buy card and present. She definitely should not be expected to use her own unless she chooses.

[Anonymous]

OP here - absolutely not about the money and that’s why I said I didn’t expect a gift, but she could have made a card (the kids are making stuff with paper and markers and craft stuff all day long, she could have used that stuff). She is not Jehovah’s Witness (was also one of my thoughts - is she and I didn’t know?! But she isn’t.) They didn’t do any special outings or anything. Whatever, I’ll get over it but I think it is thoughtless and possibly indicative of a not great bond with my DD.