Asking a nanny to come back...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are lucky that she still has contact with your son. Why would she ever trust you again?

It is not unusual for parents to put children in daycare at age 2 or 3. This isn't the same as firing the nanny, and it shouldn't be totally unexpected on nannys part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here.

You need to know whether or not you would attempt to match her pay before you talk to her. If you know that you can't offer her at least an equivalent offer then I think you should say something like this:

"Jane, I wanted to talk w/ you for a minute. As you may know I'm pregnant again, and after I spend six months at home we will be looking for a nanny again, probably for another 18month-2 yr stint as we did before.

I know that you are really happy in your current position, and that they are offering your a higher wage and better perks than we could afford. So I am assuming that you would not leave that family to come back and work for us again, however you would always be our first choice and I wanted to at least let you know that.

We're not taking any action on anything for months obviously, but we are so glad that you have remained part of Jr's life, and ours. So I wanted to tell you about the pregnancy before it becomes obvious.

I also wanted you to know how thrilled we would be to have you return to nanny for our second child, so that if something did ever change and it was something you wanted to consider you knew that we would welcome it. But as I said, I know that isn't likely and I completely understand that. I just wanted to make sure that you didn't feel hurt when we start looking for someone in a year or so."

And leave it at that. If you can't make her a better offer then it's more an issue of making her feel respected and appreciated enough to stay in touch w/ you. Or perhaps you'd ask her to babysit occasionally for date nights etc... while you're on maternity leave because she's so trusted and known to you. That might also be a nice thing to say (if she's open to it).

This, OP. Perfect.

+1 Yes, this. Perfect response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She loves your son, her former charge, not you. Don't mess it up for your child.

^^this
Don't ruin what is a good relationship.

And PS you let her watch your child many times without paying her? When I visit my former kids, I visit them for an hour or 2 and obviously I know that there is no money involved but if it is a situation more of the parents are going out and I will be "watching" (aka responsible for a couple of hours for feeding, changing, cleaning, etc etc) you better be paying my hourly rate.
If she "watches" your child very often with no pay, Christmas is coming up and you better remember!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She loves your son, her former charge, not you. Don't mess it up for your child.

^^this
Don't ruin what is a good relationship.

And PS you let her watch your child many times without paying her? When I visit my former kids, I visit them for an hour or 2 and obviously I know that there is no money involved but if it is a situation more of the parents are going out and I will be "watching" (aka responsible for a couple of hours for feeding, changing, cleaning, etc etc) you better be paying my hourly rate.
If she "watches" your child very often with no pay, Christmas is coming up and you better remember!!!

OP here. Our former nanny will not accept payment from us no matter if her being with my kid was her idea or our request.