Nanny has broken social media rule... need advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. PP, you're absolutely right as I am sure that is the case in most situations and I am not claiming to know more than her as I am the first to look everything up and ask all my mom friends for advice. I do know that it's my child so if I am not comfortable with something, it shouldn't be up for discussion.

To answer your question, she wanted to bathe in water with alcohol, salt, and sugar. I said no, and her response was maybe just the salt and sugar? Also insisting on taking him to classes that are not for his age group.

Was this supposed to be a natural body scrub or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. PP, you're absolutely right as I am sure that is the case in most situations and I am not claiming to know more than her as I am the first to look everything up and ask all my mom friends for advice. I do know that it's my child so if I am not comfortable with something, it shouldn't be up for discussion.

To answer your question, she wanted to bathe in water with alcohol, salt, and sugar. I said no, and her response was maybe just the salt and sugar? Also insisting on taking him to classes that are not for his age group.

Was this supposed to be a natural body scrub or something?

Baby wasn't even 3 months old. Said that's what her mom did with her.. I can appreciate that but there is no way I'd bathe a baby in that.

[Anonymous]

Definitely fire her. A nanny needs to work in accordance with the parents wishes. She is not doing so and so needs to go.

[Anonymous]

Shitcan

[Anonymous]

I would have started looking after she wanted to add alcohol to my newborn's bath water.

Find a new better nanny and fire this one for cause. No notice, 1 week severance if you can afford it and feel generous. Write her a letter confirming employment, and please be fully honest if anyone contacts you for a reference.

[Anonymous]

Does she wash your child? At this point I would be worried about what else she is doing her way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have started looking after she wanted to add alcohol to my newborn's bath water.

Find a new better nanny and fire this one for cause. No notice, 1 week severance if you can afford it and feel generous. Write her a letter confirming employment, and please be fully honest if anyone contacts you for a reference.

OP Here. Thank you for the advice. It's my own fault...I should have treated those things as the red flags they were. At least now I will be a little better educated on nannies. I feel guilty BC I know she loves him but it's clear she doesn't value her job.

[Anonymous]

Fire her. You don't need another child to look after!

[Anonymous]

Nanny here.

OP, you really, really need to watch for red flags with your next nanny. Wanting to bathe any child in a solution of alcohol, sugar and salt is an issue, but to do it to a three month old baby?! And if she has no comprehension of which activities are appropriate (ie. wanting to go to a music class for independent 4 year olds instead of a music together class for nanny or parent and 2 year olds), that is also an issue.

While you are interviewing, ask the nannies pointed questions. What do they like to do physically at certain ages? What are their favorite children's books, and why? Which games do they play with children, and what do the games teach them? Which songs do they sing, and why? Any decent nanny should be able to show you that she understands child development by demonstrating connectivity between age, interest level, patience and academic curiosity/ability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here.

OP, you really, really need to watch for red flags with your next nanny. Wanting to bathe any child in a solution of alcohol, sugar and salt is an issue, but to do it to a three month old baby?! And if she has no comprehension of which activities are appropriate (ie. wanting to go to a music class for independent 4 year olds instead of a music together class for nanny or parent and 2 year olds), that is also an issue.

While you are interviewing, ask the nannies pointed questions. What do they like to do physically at certain ages? What are their favorite children's books, and why? Which games do they play with children, and what do the games teach them? Which songs do they sing, and why? Any decent nanny should be able to show you that she understands child development by demonstrating connectivity between age, interest level, patience and academic curiosity/ability.

OP here.

Thank you for the advice. I've learned my lesson for sure. Sadly, it's come at the expense of my LO having to transition and form a new bond with someone during the height of his separation anxiety. I appreciate everyone on here validating the fact that those things were red flags and not my mom guilt creating petty feelings. I wish everyone that bashes MBs understood how hard it is to be a working mom and an employer to the caregiver of your child... very complicated even with a perfect nanny, I'm sure.

Have interviewed some lovely candidates and we hope to have someone in place by next week. Not looking forward to the drama that is sure to ensue from letting her go but, but excited about the next chapter. The stress of all this has been eating me alive!

[Anonymous]

Your LO will adapt quickly - don't add that guilt on top of the stress of changing nannies. You are doing the right thing. Personally I would chalk it up to a bad fit, and not be as punitive as some of the prior posters suggest. Some severance in exchange for returned keys and the like.