Random Venting about MB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The difference, angry nannies, is that the MB has a child with special needs. That's a whole other ball of wax. If you have been privileged to live your life without children so far or without children with special needs, you simply cannot understand. If you want some perspective, head over to the special needs boards and just read for a few hours. Until you have walked a mile in their shoes, park the judgement somewhere else.

Live-in nanny here. I've worked (and lived) with a few children who happened to have SN. I see two problems with OP's situation.

1. MB deliberately excluded her child from a sibling's birthday celebration. She had a choice. She could have started it at home with everyone and left that 1 child with the nanny when that child seemed to be heading for over-stimulation, but she chose not to do so. I couldn't work with a parent who would deliberately set up the family dynamic to ostracize one child, and I understand why OP said that. OP, please find another family.

2. OP has posted before. Stay-at-home MB who is never actually home. Multiple kids, 1 with SN. She feels overwhelmed and is venting. My issue is this: When venting about a family, it needs to be kept general. By giving all the extra details (SAH, never home, sn, etc.), OP is letting anyone reading DCUM who knows the family know how unhappy she is, and she's setting the family up for questions/judgement. It's unprofessional. OP, please find another family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The difference, angry nannies, is that the MB has a child with special needs. That's a whole other ball of wax. If you have been privileged to live your life without children so far or without children with special needs, you simply cannot understand. If you want some perspective, head over to the special needs boards and just read for a few hours. Until you have walked a mile in their shoes, park the judgement somewhere else.

Everyone has their struggles. Nannies often struggle financially because of cheap employers and the systemic social undervaluing of the work we do because it is domestic and traditionally female. It's a pointless exercise to play who has it worse and who deserves to complain. Op is not complaining to her boss. As long as she does her job she's allowed to feel however she wants. As far as I know we don't encourage thought police in this country. Having a special needs child is difficult, it doesn't mean you can treat people like crap because of it, including your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The difference, angry nannies, is that the MB has a child with special needs. That's a whole other ball of wax. If you have been privileged to live your life without children so far or without children with special needs, you simply cannot understand. If you want some perspective, head over to the special needs boards and just read for a few hours. Until you have walked a mile in their shoes, park the judgement somewhere else.

Live-in nanny here. I've worked (and lived) with a few children who happened to have SN. I see two problems with OP's situation.

1. MB deliberately excluded her child from a sibling's birthday celebration. She had a choice. She could have started it at home with everyone and left that 1 child with the nanny when that child seemed to be heading for over-stimulation, but she chose not to do so. I couldn't work with a parent who would deliberately set up the family dynamic to ostracize one child, and I understand why OP said that. OP, please find another family.

2. OP has posted before. Stay-at-home MB who is never actually home. Multiple kids, 1 with SN. She feels overwhelmed and is venting. My issue is this: When venting about a family, it needs to be kept general. By giving all the extra details (SAH, never home, sn, etc.), OP is letting anyone reading DCUM who knows the family know how unhappy she is, and she's setting the family up for questions/judgement. It's unprofessional. OP, please find another family.

Oh please. OP didn't give enough details to identify the family. Newsflash. Most SAHM's with nannies aren't home. They kinda have a special spot at the top of the list of types of MB's to avoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to leave the job OP.

Your judgments of your employer are highly unprofessional.

I'm not going to judge a mother of a child with special needs based on the word of a disgruntled, unprofessional nanny.

+1. Leave the job, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The difference, angry nannies, is that the MB has a child with special needs. That's a whole other ball of wax. If you have been privileged to live your life without children so far or without children with special needs, you simply cannot understand. If you want some perspective, head over to the special needs boards and just read for a few hours. Until you have walked a mile in their shoes, park the judgement somewhere else.

Live-in nanny here. I've worked (and lived) with a few children who happened to have SN. I see two problems with OP's situation.

1. MB deliberately excluded her child from a sibling's birthday celebration. She had a choice. She could have started it at home with everyone and left that 1 child with the nanny when that child seemed to be heading for over-stimulation, but she chose not to do so. I couldn't work with a parent who would deliberately set up the family dynamic to ostracize one child, and I understand why OP said that. OP, please find another family.

2. OP has posted before. Stay-at-home MB who is never actually home. Multiple kids, 1 with SN. She feels overwhelmed and is venting. My issue is this: When venting about a family, it needs to be kept general. By giving all the extra details (SAH, never home, sn, etc.), OP is letting anyone reading DCUM who knows the family know how unhappy she is, and she's setting the family up for questions/judgement. It's unprofessional. OP, please find another family.

I know for a FACT that there must be multiple nannies on this forum with dynamics similar to Op's (sahm, more than one kid and at least one with special needs) because I'm in a similar situation and I am not the op. So you clearly don't know what you are talking about. I've made a thread or 2 praising my family and have made threads to vent, so just because Op vents doesn't mean she needs a new job.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds really burnt out. She says she is overwhelmed. I think that a change in job or at least a vacation is in order here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The difference, angry nannies, is that the MB has a child with special needs. That's a whole other ball of wax. If you have been privileged to live your life without children so far or without children with special needs, you simply cannot understand. If you want some perspective, head over to the special needs boards and just read for a few hours. Until you have walked a mile in their shoes, park the judgement somewhere else.

You think the OP is going to get a better perspective on dealing with a child with autism by reading a message board than by caring for a child with autism irl?