My charge acts obsessed with me and it's making me nuts

[Anonymous]

Also I now remember wondering if his mom had some level of high functioning Aspergers. There was something off in the beginning and during my interview. She also stares at my collar bone area when we talk and doesn't look me in the eye. She's been having issues at work with a new manager and before she began complaining about it to me I wondered how she got on with her co workers and if she lacked social cues at work due to some behaviors I've witnessed at home. Sometimes she seems rude or dumb but you can tell it's not really her intention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the child needs a more nurturing and loving nanny that will not be mad at him showing normal affection for his age.

Nothing about this behavior is normal. I have maybe hugged my 5 yr old charge of 2 years 6 times.

[Anonymous]

Hi just wanted to say sorry your having such a tough time at work, some kids can be challenging. I definitely think you have the right to be annoyed, and seek help.

I would suggest always having an alternative suggestion for his behavior to start out. Like: Hey, it's not hugging time right now but we can do___, or ____. Give him 2 choices when you can.

[Anonymous]

Put the phone down and hug the kid.

He's a kid. You are his caregiver. Young children need love and stability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi just wanted to say sorry your having such a tough time at work, some kids can be challenging. I definitely think you have the right to be annoyed, and seek help.

I would suggest always having an alternative suggestion for his behavior to start out. Like: Hey, it's not hugging time right now but we can do___, or ____. Give him 2 choices when you can.

Thank you so much for the kind words. I have been doing this lately and it seems to be catching on. He will actually say it himself sometimes lol. He will ask me "it's not hugging time but time for me to finish my lunch right now right? But I get to hug you when I nap and before you go home?" Bless his heart. But this has to be done. Today he did start reverting back a bit but his parents were around a lot so it sent him into overdrive with needing reassurance from me. I even asked him if he wanted to hug his mom some and he changed the subject.

I was thinking of suggesting to the parents that when they come home to grab him and give him a tight squeeze and gush over him for a few moments. You know really embrace him and love on him. But then Wednesday I asked him to go give mom a hug and when he did she quickly said "gently! You don't have to hug me so roughly." I nearly gasped out loud. All he did was grab her around her hips. I know he has issues with being rough so we work on that but a hug after being away all day I think would warrant even picking him up and squeezing him. So I decided to not talk to them about this and just keep loving on him myself but keep boundaries and limits. This is really a strange situation I appreciate you alls input a ton!

[Anonymous]

I would maybe present it to the parents as a sensory thing and say that you think he is seeking "deep pressure" in hugs, and maybe send a link to an article about deep pressure and sensory organization and suggest they try to intentionally provide that during hugs/snuggle times. If it is a sensory thing, mom may have the same issue in a different direction (sensory avoidant vs sensory seeking) and they just may not line up in the ways it is comfortable for the two of them to give and receive affection.

[Anonymous]

Could be Reactive Attachment Disorder. Look into it. Definitely something is off.

[Anonymous]

The kid definitely need help. Children should never have any affectionate actions toward caregivers.

I think maybe some Addreall would help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kid definitely need help. Children should never have any affectionate actions toward caregivers.

I think maybe some Addreall would help.

Lol.