My live in nanny/housekeeper

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much does she make and how many hours a week. Minimum wage for a nanny of 3 children is pretty terrible if that's what you pay her. She's watching your kids... You get what you pay for.

OP never said that she paid minimum wage. Why so belligerent so quickly? I expected a few more posts before the trolling escalated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you answer these questions? My guess is you aren't "spoiling" your nanny as much as you think you are.

Your guess based on what? What is WRONG with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you answer these questions? My guess is you aren't "spoiling" your nanny as much as you think you are.

Your guess based on what? What is WRONG with you?

Yikes. Sensitive much? I'm basing that assumption on the fact that the nanny is looking for a raise, the fact that lots of parents on this board seem to think they are offering amazing packages when they aren't, and the fact that mani/pedi's and a hote room once a year don't make up for crappy wages (the specifics of which the OP conveniently forgot to include).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is the spoiled one. Most nannies wouldn't put up with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is the spoiled one. Most nannies wouldn't put up with her.

I would totally "put up" with OP. That job sounds amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So...she has been with us for 3 years now and lived with us since October. She lives with us rent free/all expenses paid. She works with my three children (1 in school all day) (2 half day), she doesn't drive so she uses our account to get rides (uber). Lately, I think she has become spoiled. I always get little things for her, manicures, hotel room for her birthday, etc. she has her own level floor which includes bathroom, kitchen and room. She works about 10 hours some days and some days 4-6. We also travel a lot (gone three weeks in December) gone for a 8 days in April and a week in May and wil be gone most of the summer. She gets plenty of time off and we always pay her. When we are away she takes care of the dog and fish that's all that's asked of her and she cleans before we return home. Lately she's been complaining about her pay and hourly pay, etc. I think our time together has ended and I truly believe she has become very spoiled being with us. I'm not sure how to explain to her that she has it so good! Before coming to us she had no experience with children. We love her so much but it's taking a toll on me. She has given us one more year- and then wants to take off for three months (vacation) and then work part-time somewhere. Not sure how that will work out.

Would love to hear thoughts.

Wow. No, you have issues, but they are your issues, not hers.

You chose to give her perks, then you talk about her pay as if they are related. They aren't.

Part of being a live-in nanny is giving up your expectation of complete privacy and a completely set schedule. In exchange, a live-in nanny then has no overhead costs.

Most families don't have parking space for a live-in's car, or they don't want a cheaper model in their driveway, so they provide transportation. You chose to provide access to uber instead of a vehicle, which works.

She has a full floor of the house, with bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom. That's exactly what most live-in nannies require as the minimum. Better accommodations have laundry hookups, a separate living room, a separate enteance, and a door that can be locked between the nanny's area and the rest of tGhanage house. Those are billed as a mother-in-law or nanny apartment.

you listed all the time she isn't working. BUT! You said she takes care of the dog, fish and cleaning while you are gone. That means she's working every day, she can't go anywhere else, and yes, of course you should pay her. It sounds like you thought that would be her vacation, but it isn't, it's yours.

The number of hours she works per day doesn't matter if she gets salary, it does if she's paid hourly. A live-in nanny should be making $10/hour minimum, and most make more ($12-20/hour). If she's not getting that, and/or you docked her pay when she moved in, yes, of course she would be raising the issue. She should also have had a raise for the last two years, so she should be getting about $2/hour more than when she started.

She had no childcare experience when she started, but she's worked for you for three years. She now has three years with your kids, so she knows them well.

How her life goes after you is her business. She's given you one year as notice, which most nannies won't do. Have the courtesy to give her a factual reference and at least a month's notice if you let her go. Be aware that what you are providing is the minimum, not a great perks.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's not really your problem if her plan doesn't work out. She will have been a live-in, full time nanny for you for four years when she leaves. She's ready to live on her own and do something different. It isn't always about the money or stability. It's about growing up and living her life.Can't you understand that?

[Anonymous]

At first impression, it sounds like you're a nice person, you give your nanny lots of perks. I would not be able to do that as a MB.

But it really depends on what rate you give her for being your live in and while you are away a lot, it's not like she can go anywhere out of the city if she has to take care of your dog while you are away.

[Anonymous]

I just read that she moved in with you just last October. Tell her you'll raise her rate if she moves out like before. She will realize soon enough how that will affect her bottom line.

Stop all the perks like manicures and put it all towards raising her hourly or whatever rate. Try to look for a win win situation.

[Anonymous]

OP, unless you tell us her current hourly rate and how many raises you have given her since she started working for you, the assumption will be that you pay the bare minimum and have never given her a raise.

So if you want constructive input, give people something to work with please.

[Anonymous]

MB here- It sounds like a mutually beneficial relationship.
If you are feeling too generous, simply start cutting back on the extras.

If you think it has gotten way out of control, start looking for a replacement live-out nanny and see what the cost is.
You will quickly learn if you are massively overpaying her (in which case, let her go),
or getting a good value for your $. it's easy to become complacent with the value a good long term employee who knows our house, kids, and routine provides us.

If you decide to keep her, give her the $1 raise to keep her happy (about $40/week), but cut back on $40/week of perks (to keep you from feeling taken advantage of)

[Anonymous]

I'm MB above.

FWIW, I have 3 friends who are keeping their FT nannies at the same rate, even though their kids are in school full time now. They know their nannies make their lives much easier, and keep the house and kids running smoothly, and are willing to overpay for it for a couple years.

If you are giving her the full summer off, you could try to line up another summer nanny job for her, to defray your costs. However, you run the risk of another family hiring her permanently

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm MB above.

FWIW, I have 3 friends who are keeping their FT nannies at the same rate, even though their kids are in school full time now. They know their nannies make their lives much easier, and keep the house and kids running smoothly, and are willing to overpay for it for a couple years.

If you are giving her the full summer off, you could try to line up another summer nanny job for her, to defray your costs. However, you run the risk of another family hiring her permanently

It is rude to presume that your children's nanny is happy to be shared among your friends when you choose not to use her services as a way of avoiding paying her. I have the feeling that if OP tried that little maneuver her nanny would be long gone when OP returned from her summer away.

And I believe I read that when OP is away her nanny still does household chores. That means nanny is still working. So therefore, nanny needs to be paid.

If I were OP, and I had made sure I was paying a competitive rate commensurate with the experience my nanny had, I would congratulate myself on having hired someone who could act as a house sitter (a live-in will do that since she is on the property daily) while I summered out of town, and I would ask for nanny's input on a list of chores she could complete while my family and I were gone. Daily/weekly/monthly chores, the freedom to do them when nanny wishes, and a regular paycheck. seems like a winner to me!

Oh, and the competitive rate thing? Ask local agencies, and provide not only the nanny's CV, but also the actual job description. Your cousin's neighbor's BFF's Brother cannot tell you what you should be paying your nanny.

Of course, on the off chance OP is actually grossly overpaying her nanny, she has 2 choices - suck it up and deal, or fire the nanny and replace her. That also presumes nanny will cooperate with being evicted and not raise a stink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm MB above.

FWIW, I have 3 friends who are keeping their FT nannies at the same rate, even though their kids are in school full time now. They know their nannies make their lives much easier, and keep the house and kids running smoothly, and are willing to overpay for it for a couple years.

If you are giving her the full summer off, you could try to line up another summer nanny job for her, to defray your costs. However, you run the risk of another family hiring her permanently

Most PT nannies would prefer not to work for the primary MB's or DB's friends. In that situation, if one position sours, both might, and then the nanny is without any income or housing rather than just losing one position and possibly housing. Most nannies would prefer to do their own search and make their own decision about whether a family would fit with the current schedule and nanny's style.

[Anonymous]

Op not responding. Probably a troll.