If you want to be in your child's memory tomorrow, BE IN THEIR LIFE TODAY!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with this poster! I can't stand that dr Laura lady but she is SPOT ON when it comes to these working parents and not even raising their own children. Being a nanny has allowed me to nurture these poor children that would otherwise get dumped into a daycare center where they just get treated like robots and have to stick to routines and schedules that fit the needs of the school and teachers. There are some great centers and preschools out there but nothing can trump getting what you need at home. Having a nanny is the next best thing to having one of your actual parents home. If socialization is what you are after there are many ways to get this.

I am not coming down in moms either. I also advocate for dads that can stay home.

Can we imagine the difference there would be in behavior and personality development? So many concerns and diagnoses are rooted in behavioral issues it sickens me. The behavioral issues are rooted in attention seeking because these kids now don't get it from the ones that created them in the first place. They are popped out then boom back to work and back to only seeing their parents at dinner and bed then a couple of days for the weekend. Do you parents really think this is adequate? I mean deep down do you really believe it? If you do, you should not have children. STOP having more children! It's ok to just be married.

When it comes to single parent it's different and I understand there needs to be an income. Nannies are too expensive some times in these situations. This is when I suggest living close to a relative that can help, or even living with family like grandma and grandpa to supplement for the absent parent. If it's not an option I think in come day cares with low ratios are the next best thing. It's more lenient the schedules are less stressful and they will come to see the provider as family.

But please let go of these material "needs" and standards of society. If you need to downsize your home, cars, vacations per year whatever it may be, DO IT. If it means going from $400000 year income household to $200000 or from $150,000 to $60,000 DO IT. One parent be there for your kids in their formative years. Be the one seeing those "firsts". Don't depend on watching a camera from your cell or texts and daily reports. Get back to your career part time after they go to school.

This industry has completely changed my views. I am defintely staying home when I start my own family I don't care if we have to have a tight budget. Nothing can substitute a parents attention and touch. No job is more important once you decide to become a parent. And if you think so you shouldn't be a parent. This is the pink elephant in the room that no one wants to mention so I know feathers will be ruffled. Mbs will be angry and say it's judgemental and become defensive. "You wouldn't have a job is we didn't work! Etc etc". I have degrees to work in other areas but I have my heartstrings pulled by these children that need someone their for them at home. No one will tell the truth

You're unhinged. And yes, you are overtly judgmental and you don't have any idea how most of the world lives. Mostly though you're unhinged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with this poster! I can't stand that dr Laura lady but she is SPOT ON when it comes to these working parents and not even raising their own children. Being a nanny has allowed me to nurture these poor children that would otherwise get dumped into a daycare center where they just get treated like robots and have to stick to routines and schedules that fit the needs of the school and teachers. There are some great centers and preschools out there but nothing can trump getting what you need at home. Having a nanny is the next best thing to having one of your actual parents home. If socialization is what you are after there are many ways to get this.

I am not coming down in moms either. I also advocate for dads that can stay home.

Can we imagine the difference there would be in behavior and personality development? So many concerns and diagnoses are rooted in behavioral issues it sickens me. The behavioral issues are rooted in attention seeking because these kids now don't get it from the ones that created them in the first place. They are popped out then boom back to work and back to only seeing their parents at dinner and bed then a couple of days for the weekend. Do you parents really think this is adequate? I mean deep down do you really believe it? If you do, you should not have children. STOP having more children! It's ok to just be married.

When it comes to single parent it's different and I understand there needs to be an income. Nannies are too expensive some times in these situations. This is when I suggest living close to a relative that can help, or even living with family like grandma and grandpa to supplement for the absent parent. If it's not an option I think in come day cares with low ratios are the next best thing. It's more lenient the schedules are less stressful and they will come to see the provider as family.

But please let go of these material "needs" and standards of society. If you need to downsize your home, cars, vacations per year whatever it may be, DO IT. If it means going from $400000 year income household to $200000 or from $150,000 to $60,000 DO IT. One parent be there for your kids in their formative years. Be the one seeing those "firsts". Don't depend on watching a camera from your cell or texts and daily reports. Get back to your career part time after they go to school.

This industry has completely changed my views. I am defintely staying home when I start my own family I don't care if we have to have a tight budget. Nothing can substitute a parents attention and touch. No job is more important once you decide to become a parent. And if you think so you shouldn't be a parent. This is the pink elephant in the room that no one wants to mention so I know feathers will be ruffled. Mbs will be angry and say it's judgemental and become defensive. "You wouldn't have a job is we didn't work! Etc etc". I have degrees to work in other areas but I have my heartstrings pulled by these children that need someone their for them at home. No one will tell the truth

You're unhinged. And yes, you are overtly judgmental and you don't have any idea how most of the world lives. Mostly though you're unhinged.

If you choose to get defensive and name call or insult at least state why. What was unhinged in my post please? Highlight, bold, quote whatever part seemed unhinged to you and I will help clarify or make it make more sense.

Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with this poster! I can't stand that dr Laura lady but she is SPOT ON when it comes to these working parents and not even raising their own children. Being a nanny has allowed me to nurture these poor children that would otherwise get dumped into a daycare center where they just get treated like robots and have to stick to routines and schedules that fit the needs of the school and teachers. There are some great centers and preschools out there but nothing can trump getting what you need at home. Having a nanny is the next best thing to having one of your actual parents home. If socialization is what you are after there are many ways to get this.

I am not coming down in moms either. I also advocate for dads that can stay home.

Can we imagine the difference there would be in behavior and personality development? So many concerns and diagnoses are rooted in behavioral issues it sickens me. The behavioral issues are rooted in attention seeking because these kids now don't get it from the ones that created them in the first place. They are popped out then boom back to work and back to only seeing their parents at dinner and bed then a couple of days for the weekend. Do you parents really think this is adequate? I mean deep down do you really believe it? If you do, you should not have children. STOP having more children! It's ok to just be married.

When it comes to single parent it's different and I understand there needs to be an income. Nannies are too expensive some times in these situations. This is when I suggest living close to a relative that can help, or even living with family like grandma and grandpa to supplement for the absent parent. If it's not an option I think in come day cares with low ratios are the next best thing. It's more lenient the schedules are less stressful and they will come to see the provider as family.

But please let go of these material "needs" and standards of society. If you need to downsize your home, cars, vacations per year whatever it may be, DO IT. If it means going from $400000 year income household to $200000 or from $150,000 to $60,000 DO IT. One parent be there for your kids in their formative years. Be the one seeing those "firsts". Don't depend on watching a camera from your cell or texts and daily reports. Get back to your career part time after they go to school.

This industry has completely changed my views. I am defintely staying home when I start my own family I don't care if we have to have a tight budget. Nothing can substitute a parents attention and touch. No job is more important once you decide to become a parent. And if you think so you shouldn't be a parent. This is the pink elephant in the room that no one wants to mention so I know feathers will be ruffled. Mbs will be angry and say it's judgemental and become defensive. "You wouldn't have a job is we didn't work! Etc etc". I have degrees to work in other areas but I have my heartstrings pulled by these children that need someone their for them at home. No one will tell the truth

You're unhinged. And yes, you are overtly judgmental and you don't have any idea how most of the world lives. Mostly though you're unhinged.

Typical brainwashing of today that a person must be crazy if they think people that decide to have kids should actually see and spend more than 2/3 hours with them a day. No where did the pp say lose your identity or that it has to be the mom that doesn't work. But there is nothing unhinged at the notion an actual parent *gasps* be the one putting down their own kid for naptime or taking them to the playground. Most of the parents that do work don't even like their jobs but do it to keep a certain tax bracket attached to their names or have a certain lifestyle. Handing off your baby every day and not seeing them again until after rush hour traffic does have an effect on them whether people want to acknowledge it or not. It shouldn't even be legal for day care centers to accept 6 week old babies. Sometimes people have to do what hey have to do. But most of he parents here that can afford nannies and prestigious schools for 7 year olds can defintely afford for mom or dad to be there in the home with the child until kindergarten starts. Go out with friends on the weekends, work on hobbies and activities after bedtime. You don't have to lose yourself or identity just because you stop going to work for a few years to take care of something you created. Jeesh

[Anonymous]

Interesting. I was just reading an article about this. I agreed with most but disagreed with the he notion that it needs to be the mother like the article was focused on. A bit sexist. But anywhoo one of the mom that contributed to an interview for the article stated that what made her realize she hated being a stay at home mom was because her baby girl was overly fussy and never happy, and she resented her husband getting to leave everyday and began to resent her child too. I couldn't believe it. A baby being fussy?! It was like the thought never occurred to the mom to get involved in activities outside the home with the child. Instead being concerned with why her baby is constantly fussy, she decided to hire someone else to deal with it and went back to work.

The next mom that was interviewed stated something to the effect of loving it but then one day her oldest came home from school and they were studying careers and her daughter had drawn a picture of her mother. Apparently the little girl admired her mother for being a great mom and wanted to be like her when she grew up but all the mom got out of it was that her daughter was aspiring to just be a mother and said she wasn't impressed with her child. So she went back to work to prove she was more than a mom so I guess the thought had never occurred to this mother to discuss WHO she is outside of home, before she was a mommy or what she had in store as her own dreams and aspirations for HER future with her older daughter? That's where she failed not by being home. Good parents have perspective and are well rounded and they create those type of children I think. To wear blinders is dangerous. She could've been educating her children on things all along like if she used to work as an architect she could've shown old projects and created things with them to show mom was more than the cook and laundress. It was really disheartening to read.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. Please do excuse typos I found the article I read:


http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3259258

[Anonymous]

lol...I have never heard an adult lamenting a childhood as a poor child who grew up in nanny care with a loving mom and dad only with them 2 full days a week and 3 hours in the evenings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:lol...I have never heard an adult lamenting a childhood as a poor child who grew up in nanny care with a loving mom and dad only with them 2 full days a week and 3 hours in the evenings.

Most don't even get 3 hours per night nor a full 2 day weekend. A lot of parents come home after the child's dinner and only see them for tucking in. Then have a sitter on the weekends for their date nights or think spending time is dragging them along on their errands.

But it's great for you if you think 10 hours a week during m-f is sufficient! That's fantastic!

[Anonymous]

All research on the impact of various approaches to childcare (SAHM, nanny, daycare, relative care, etc...) show that the single greatest indicators behind good health and strong social and intellectual development are parental income and education - especially in the mother.

A child born to a well-educated mother, with income sufficient to provide top-notch care, is automatically well ahead of the game. Those factors trump ALL others, and it's true all over the world.

This link is to an article that cites lots of relevant research (easier to link to one source than multiple.)

There is no data to support the positions taken by so many (or perhaps just a vocal few) in this thread or the ones like it on this forum. None.

[Anonymous]

Oh jeez. Here's the link:
http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2014/06/23/3451313/working-mothers-children/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol...I have never heard an adult lamenting a childhood as a poor child who grew up in nanny care with a loving mom and dad only with them 2 full days a week and 3 hours in the evenings.

Most don't even get 3 hours per night nor a full 2 day weekend. A lot of parents come home after the child's dinner and only see them for tucking in. Then have a sitter on the weekends for their date nights or think spending time is dragging them along on their errands.

But it's great for you if you think 10 hours a week during m-f is sufficient! That's fantastic!

Da Fuq you talking about? "Most" I'm home at 5 and my kids are in bed at 9. A sitter on the weekend? I'M GUILTY!!! I'm going out this Saturday night!!!

My GOD my kids are fucked!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol...I have never heard an adult lamenting a childhood as a poor child who grew up in nanny care with a loving mom and dad only with them 2 full days a week and 3 hours in the evenings.

Most don't even get 3 hours per night nor a full 2 day weekend. A lot of parents come home after the child's dinner and only see them for tucking in. Then have a sitter on the weekends for their date nights or think spending time is dragging them along on their errands.

But it's great for you if you think 10 hours a week during m-f is sufficient! That's fantastic!

Da Fuq you talking about? "Most" I'm home at 5 and my kids are in bed at 9. A sitter on the weekend? I'M GUILTY!!! I'm going out this Saturday night!!!

My GOD my kids are fucked!!!

Interesting language. Maybe it's good you don't spend but 4 hours a day with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol...I have never heard an adult lamenting a childhood as a poor child who grew up in nanny care with a loving mom and dad only with them 2 full days a week and 3 hours in the evenings.

Most don't even get 3 hours per night nor a full 2 day weekend. A lot of parents come home after the child's dinner and only see them for tucking in. Then have a sitter on the weekends for their date nights or think spending time is dragging them along on their errands.

But it's great for you if you think 10 hours a week during m-f is sufficient! That's fantastic!

Da Fuq you talking about? "Most" I'm home at 5 and my kids are in bed at 9. A sitter on the weekend? I'M GUILTY!!! I'm going out this Saturday night!!!

My GOD my kids are fucked!!!

Interesting language. Maybe it's good you don't spend but 4 hours a day with them.

Well, you forgot the morning and weekends, except for of course the Saturday night travesty of a babysitter.

But, yea, they have really dodged a bullet. WHEW!! Fucking RELIEF!!! Thank GOD they are being raised by someone else,(really just a random stranger when it comes down to it). If not, and it were me raising my kids, they would be so screwed. Probably would be working stripper poles by the time they are barely legal. And certainly they won't have any memories of me, another major relief. You are so wise, do you have a book coming out? Can I get a copy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol...I have never heard an adult lamenting a childhood as a poor child who grew up in nanny care with a loving mom and dad only with them 2 full days a week and 3 hours in the evenings.

Most don't even get 3 hours per night nor a full 2 day weekend. A lot of parents come home after the child's dinner and only see them for tucking in. Then have a sitter on the weekends for their date nights or think spending time is dragging them along on their errands.

But it's great for you if you think 10 hours a week during m-f is sufficient! That's fantastic!

Da Fuq you talking about? "Most" I'm home at 5 and my kids are in bed at 9. A sitter on the weekend? I'M GUILTY!!! I'm going out this Saturday night!!!

My GOD my kids are fucked!!!

Interesting language. Maybe it's good you don't spend but 4 hours a day with them.

You probably wouldn't be able to comprehend it.

Well, you forgot the morning and weekends, except for of course the Saturday night travesty of a babysitter.

But, yea, they have really dodged a bullet. WHEW!! Fucking RELIEF!!! Thank GOD they are being raised by someone else,(really just a random stranger when it comes down to it). If not, and it were me raising my kids, they would be so screwed. Probably would be working stripper poles by the time they are barely legal. And certainly they won't have any memories of me, another major relief. You are so wise, do you have a book coming out? Can I get a copy?

[Anonymous]

Well, you forgot the morning and weekends, except for of course the Saturday night travesty of a babysitter.

But, yea, they have really dodged a bullet. WHEW!! Fucking RELIEF!!! Thank GOD they are being raised by someone else,(really just a random stranger when it comes down to it). If not, and it were me raising my kids, they would be so screwed. Probably would be working stripper poles by the time they are barely legal. And certainly they won't have any memories of me, another major relief. You are so wise, do you have a book coming out? Can I get a copy?

You probably wouldn't be able to comprehend it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Well, you forgot the morning and weekends, except for of course the Saturday night travesty of a babysitter.

But, yea, they have really dodged a bullet. WHEW!! Fucking RELIEF!!! Thank GOD they are being raised by someone else,(really just a random stranger when it comes down to it). If not, and it were me raising my kids, they would be so screwed. Probably would be working stripper poles by the time they are barely legal. And certainly they won't have any memories of me, another major relief. You are so wise, do you have a book coming out? Can I get a copy?

You probably wouldn't be able to comprehend it.

Your adroit analysis of me is so eye opening. You really should write a book, even go on the lecture circuit. Even if I wouldn't be able to comprehend it, I would try my hardest. Your revalations are nothing short of profound.