nanny's husband while we are away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: there are no two days off arranged. Why would there be?
She would sleep the nights (kids do not wake up), so there is no night shift.
It is not much different from me being home for 2 days alone with kids, when my husband travels.
Again: the question was simply whether there is anything to worry about if she wants her husband over.
Thank you all who posted.

What are you paying her for this? Anything?

[Anonymous]

I don't see the big deal with dinner. I would feel uncomfortable with the overnight if I didn't know him.

That said, I am more concerned that you're asking her to work this 24/7 weekend shift, hinting that you actually intend to pay her LESS, not more, and that the kids sleeping is the same as YOU being home with the kids. Except it isn't, because you chose to have these kids and she didn't. She is WORKING overnight and if you believe she isn't then presumably she doesn't need to come at all and you can just leave them alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: there are no two days off arranged. Why would there be?
She would sleep the nights (kids do not wake up), so there is no night shift.
It is not much different from me being home for 2 days alone with kids, when my husband travels.
Again: the question was simply whether there is anything to worry about if she wants her husband over.
Thank you all who posted.

You sound entitled and I don't like that. You probably don't deserve this nanny. Hope she takes a better job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you getting a reduced rate, OP? If nanny is cutting you some slack, you need to do the same... in whatever way is appropriate.

That's one reason why my overnight work is at regular wages.

OP here: thank you all. In regard to the reduced rate, we did not talk about this.
We do not feel it is OK to bring in guests just because the rate is reduced though.
For us it is more of an emotional challenge whether her husband is ok to be around.

Then expect to pay a boatload of or and let her know she's working, so no husband.

[Anonymous]

Nanny home with the kids overnight isn't the same as you home. She isn't at her house, she can't do what she wants. You chose to have kids, not her. I seriously hope you aren't considering not paying her for the nights and if you are then you should ABSOLUTELY let her have her spouse over so she isn't working for free and alone.

[Anonymous]

Stop taking advantage of the nanny, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: there are no two days off arranged. Why would there be?
She would sleep the nights (kids do not wake up), so there is no night shift.
It is not much different from me being home for 2 days alone with kids, when my husband travels.
Again: the question was simply whether there is anything to worry about if she wants her husband over.
Thank you all who posted.

What are you paying her for this? Anything?

I'm curious to know as well PP

[Anonymous]

I think op isn't paying the nanny anything.

[Anonymous]

I would ask her if it would be okay to meet her husband first before giving permission for him to be around your children.

This is a very reasonable request.

Then, after meeting him in person you can decide if you feel comfortable or not.

[Anonymous]

I recommend you simply find someone else so nanny can be at home with her husband, as she wishes.

[Anonymous]

If you say no to this request, you should be prepared to pay her full rate for the entirety of your trip. Her sleeping at your home is for your convenience, not yours, so she is working the full time. If you were willing to give her some semblance of a home life during this period, maybe you'd deserve a discounted rate, but if you want to be a hard ass about the fact that she's at work, then she's at work in every way including her normal work rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you say no to this request, you should be prepared to pay her full rate for the entirety of your trip. Her sleeping at your home is for your convenience, not yours, so she is working the full time. If you were willing to give her some semblance of a home life during this period, maybe you'd deserve a discounted rate, but if you want to be a hard ass about the fact that she's at work, then she's at work in every way including her normal work rate.

Exactly. Full hourly wages required. I never sleep well when I'm on-call. No discount for that.

[Anonymous]

I don't care what you are paying her, and it is probably not her OT rate itvshoykd be, she is giving up her family time FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE. If you think her DH is such a danger to your snowflakes then you should fire your Nanny. What is wrong with you? I hhope she gets smart and finds a decent person to work for.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are a truly despicable woman and I guarantee you that you will be looking for a new Nanny very soon.

[Anonymous]

Another nanny abuser.