Nannies: Please tell me how a share with two infants works

[Anonymous]

I posted in another thread. I have not done a share, but I have been a nanny for three sets of twins. I have also handled siblings close in age. The sacrifices required to be in a share our that you and the other family will need to get on the same page about things like schedule, or your children will suffer. If you are willing to follow the nannies lead and help her come up with a schedule that gets both babies synced up, then your kid Will have the best chance at having excellent care. And experienced nanny knows how to streamline the day so that everyone gets naps and activities as needed, and before you know it they will be Old enough that a two month difference really isn't that different at all. I know it sounds overwhelming to have twice as many babies, but for an experienced nanny, it is an exciting challenge, rather then overwhelming thought. I would never want to go back to working with only one baby, because I am sure that I would be bored out of my mind!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will be going back to work soon and have agreed to do a nanny share with another family that also has an infant (the kids will be 3 months and 5 months at the time). I feel like I have my hands full with one and was wondering how nannies manage to feed and care for two very young kids that both need a lot of attention. Can you talk about the mechanics of handling two kids? Is it better to try for naps at the same time, or staggered naps so one can be fed while the other sleeps, etc?

OP, a professional nanny has skills to put the kids on the same schedule and minimize the chaos. It works best if the kids are close in age so their needs are similar.

We had a shared nanny four years ago when my son was an infant. It worked out great. I had a key to the house and could come at will. I never encountered any screaming or chaos; in fact, the nanny probably seemed more composed with two of them than I was with just one. You'll need a double stroller, though!

Infants don't play with each other, obviously, but they do watch each other and serve as additional distraction/entertainment for each other. They can share toys. They can share the nanny's attention when she reads or sings. She can play with both at the same time; I've watched it done enough times.

One final thought is that you should know babies act different with different caregivers so chances are, if your nanny is professional, your baby will follow her lead easily and cheerfully. My DS, for instance, required prolonged nursing sessions from me to nap, but for the nanny, he just lay down and went to sleep!

Short version: pick an experienced nanny and relax.

[Anonymous]

How is it different than daycare, where the ratio is one adult to 3-4 infants?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is it different than daycare, where the ratio is one adult to 3-4 infants?

It's different because the ratio is one adult to two infants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In all honesty you couldn't pay me enough to do this on a daily basis.

Caring for two young infants is a ton of work!!

All you will be doing is constantly feeding, burping, changing diapers and holding them all while one or both of them screams.

Total chaos.

In all reality, this poster is right. It takes at least a solid three months to get little babies (and their parents) on the "same" schedule, but how do you feed two hungry babies and then get them both to sleep (peacefully) at the same time? After all, you have only two arms! BTDT.

Anyone saying this is easy, is... well you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In all honesty you couldn't pay me enough to do this on a daily basis.

Caring for two young infants is a ton of work!!

All you will be doing is constantly feeding, burping, changing diapers and holding them all while one or both of them screams.

Total chaos.

In all reality, this poster is right. It takes at least a solid three months to get little babies (and their parents) on the "same" schedule, but how do you feed two hungry babies and then get them both to sleep (peacefully) at the same time? After all, you have only two arms! BTDT.

Anyone saying this is easy, is... well you know.

You obviously have no idea what you're talking about. You feed them by holding one bottle with each hand. They take turns burping. Then you put them to sleep. If you are an experienced caregiver and they are typical healthy babies, then they should quickly adjust to your consisted naptime routine and go quietly to sleep on their own. If, worst case scenario, both of them have really severe reflux and needed to be held for all naps, you would put them both in a carrier or stroller and keep them upright that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In all honesty you couldn't pay me enough to do this on a daily basis.

Caring for two young infants is a ton of work!!

All you will be doing is constantly feeding, burping, changing diapers and holding them all while one or both of them screams.

Total chaos.

In all reality, this poster is right. It takes at least a solid three months to get little babies (and their parents) on the "same" schedule, but how do you feed two hungry babies and then get them both to sleep (peacefully) at the same time? After all, you have only two arms! BTDT.

Anyone saying this is easy, is... well you know.

You obviously have no idea what you're talking about. You feed them by holding one bottle with each hand. They take turns burping. Then you put them to sleep. If you are an experienced caregiver and they are typical healthy babies, then they should quickly adjust to your consisted naptime routine and go quietly to sleep on their own. If, worst case scenario, both of them have really severe reflux and needed to be held for all naps, you would put them both in a carrier or stroller and keep them upright that way.

Please tell us about your share experiences. Thanks! But your feeble advice clearly says you have none. Sorry.

All the parents I work with expect their infant (while feeding) to be properly held with two hands, as it should be.

Give up your ridiculous fight, PP. Seems to me, OP will listen to her gut and hold off on trying out a share arrangement. For the sake of her baby, I certainly hope so.

Saving a few dollars during the first year of a baby's life, just isn't worth all the extra crying and stress your baby will be forced to endure, while waiting their turn for a feeding, a burp, a nap, or a poopy diaper change. It's much better to reconsider other options. Babies require security to get the best start in life. Every parent wants that.

[Anonymous]

Oh yes, lol, let's all weep for all the twins on the planet who endure so much stress and crying because their security has been yanked from them at birth! You don't know what you're talking about. Or perhaps you don't know how to do a share and because of that you believe it's impossible. Or perhaps you are dealing with imaginary babies who magically poop only in unison. Hey, they should be their own circus act! One, two, three, poop!

OK, a little public service announcement:

- babies stop needing burping after a few months

- there are contraptions for feeding babies. Most caregivers also have two hands, one for each baby

- babies get accustomed to napping together.

[Anonymous]

Where did anyone on this thread, 7:49, say it's "impossible"?Please check yourself here. Your lack of knowledge and experience is simply appalling.

[Anonymous]

Twin mom here. Some of you are hilariously melodramatic.

I took care of my babies just fine, all by myself, for a long time. Other people did also. It's really not neurosurgery (unless you have babies with medical conditions of course.)

Reasonable, competent people can handle two babies. Especially if they love babies and have prior experience. Especially if the parents and the caregiver(s) work well together as a team and all parties are reasonable.

Reasonable being the operative word that's missing in a lot of these hyperbolic responses.

21:42, 21:57, 5:13 and 7:49 - c'mon over to my house. We'd all do just fine and have a good time laughing at this.

[Anonymous]

I've done both twin babies AND share babies. Apples and oranges.

[Anonymous]

We did an infant nanny share with our DS starting at around 3 months. We got an experienced twin/share nanny. She was pretty disciplined about scheduling so they napped at the same time (and she did laundry/light housekeeping then - although that wasn't even in her job description!) She was also really good about feeding each one of them their bottles separately so they got a lot of individual cuddle time that way. They went out for at least two long walks every day, so they were content in their double stroller during that time. As they got older she would just play with them at the same time down on the floor.

My DS was the fussier one of the pair, so to be honest he spent some time crying and learning how to be a little more "independent" in the first few weeks while he was still an infant. I didn't love that fact, but I accepted it as necessary if I wanted him with a nanny instead of in daycare.

I think a nanny share would be tough if there were two fussy babies or one extremely high-needs baby. But I think in most cases it ends up being one mellower baby and one fussy baby, so it works out. Not that the mellow one gets neglected, but that there is enough flexibility to keep the fussy one relatively happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I posted in another thread. I have not done a share, but I have been a nanny for three sets of twins. I have also handled siblings close in age. The sacrifices required to be in a share our that you and the other family will need to get on the same page about things like schedule, or your children will suffer. If you are willing to follow the nannies lead and help her come up with a schedule that gets both babies synced up, then your kid Will have the best chance at having excellent care. And experienced nanny knows how to streamline the day so that everyone gets naps and activities as needed, and before you know it they will be Old enough that a two month difference really isn't that different at all. I know it sounds overwhelming to have twice as many babies, but for an experienced nanny, it is an exciting challenge, rather then overwhelming thought. I would never want to go back to working with only one baby, because I am sure that I would be bored out of my mind!

MB here - I agree with the advice on trusting the nanny! In our share, the other little girl was ready to move to one nap much earlier than our sleepy guy. The nanny tried to get the other girl stay on two naps (impossible) for a while until she finally sat us down and told us that they needed to get on the same schedule and get my DS to move to one nap. As a FTM I was nervous about it because he didn't seem ready, but it worked fine! I really couldn't disagree with the nanny when she pointed out that if I insisted on my DS getting 2 naps that they would never be able to go outside.

And yes, our nanny only does shares now. She would be totally bored (not to mention earning less) with just one baby.

[Anonymous]

Some of you are being crazy! To feed two infants, you either staggerbtheir feedings by 15 minutes (one and then the other) or you position them on a boppy on either side of you and you hold each bottle with one hand. You can also begin teaching them to hold it themselves pretty easily, and like others have said almost all babies can do this by 6 months.

I keep my infants in a sleep, feed, play routine, so it isn't constant naps feedings and changes. They sleep, and when they wake I do changes (5 minutes), and feeding (15-20 minutes). Now all of their needs are met for the next 1.5-2 hours and we can play or go for a walk. It's really not hard once you have a solid routine. To make everything go smoother throughout the day, I prep all bottles as soon as I arrive, and pack anything we need for our outing.

I've done shares every day for the past 5 years and I am bored to tears when I only have one. Also, infants are only infants for so long. Quickly enough you have a two toddler share, and the real fun/challenge begins!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the parent who responded about maintaining the schedule. I'm not the "illiterate or drunk" poster - though I think we'd get along.

I am a mother of twins. My kids were, and are, on the same schedule, 7 days a week for their entire 4+ year lives.
There is more flexibility in the schedule now, and sometimes life interferes w/ the best laid plans, but the schedule that is best for them is maintained. That schedule is the same no matter who is caring for them.

It isn't hard. It's what is best for them, and it makes for a calm household also.

I have no idea why that makes me seem like a troll, but whatever.





Whatever you are a troll.