How to tell nanny we are letting her go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell the kids the night before you're going to tell the nanny. tell them it's totally okay for them to still love her, and talk with her about her leaving, and to think about all the fun things they want to do with her.

Then just tell the nanny the next morning. Think out now what if she changes the things you don't like? Then will you keep her? You should figure that out ahead of time.

Please don't do this! I think it's better to tell her Friday afternoon and let her work out her feelings and disappointment over the weekend if she has to come back for another couple weeks.
This going to be very hard for her to take care of the kids when they might want to talk about her leaving and she might not be able to control her emotions.

Tell her Friday, tell the kids over the weekend and regroup Monday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell the kids the night before you're going to tell the nanny. tell them it's totally okay for them to still love her, and talk with her about her leaving, and to think about all the fun things they want to do with her.

Then just tell the nanny the next morning. Think out now what if she changes the things you don't like? Then will you keep her? You should figure that out ahead of time.

Please don't do this! I think it's better to tell her Friday afternoon and let her work out her feelings and disappointment over the weekend if she has to come back for another couple weeks.
This going to be very hard for her to take care of the kids when they might want to talk about her leaving and she might not be able to control her emotions.

Tell her Friday, tell the kids over the weekend and regroup Monday.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Have you tried to discuss the issues you are having with her not following your directions?

Reason being is that 3 years is a long time to invest in a nanny and if there is any possible chance that this can work out, it may be worth it. Or not.

I was mainly thinking of how your children would feel...

Anyway your children deserve the best care possible and you deserve a trustworthy nanny so if you feel it's time for both sides to move on, no hard feelings should ensue.

I would tell her ASAP OP. The sooner the better.

Talk to her directly and keep the reason(s) short & sweet. Just inform her that you feel it is best for both sides to move on and that your needs have evolved.

You can offer her pay for a few weeks, but don't feel obligated since her job performance has been sub-par.

And I personally wouldn't provide a reference for her if she had issues with taking direction.
This is a big thing for most families and you would be doing another family a great disservice by recommending her.

Hope this helps out!

[Anonymous]

P.S. ~ Your nanny may become very upset by your news and she will also be very angry.

On a personal level, I wouldn't want my children in the company of a provider that I just fired.

She could try to seek retribution of some form during the next 6 weeks or simply not do her job very well.

Prepare for this to occur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not ask her to work out her notice. Just let go peacefully.

What do you mean?

I mean cut ties immediately. Give her the 6 week severance and reference letter. Believe me, it will be a very difficult situation for all of you if she works out her notice.

Most people can't afford this. Shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not ask her to work out her notice. Just let go peacefully.

What do you mean?

I mean cut ties immediately. Give her the 6 week severance and reference letter. Believe me, it will be a very difficult situation for all of you if she works out her notice.

Most people can't afford this. Shut up.

This is perfectly reasonable advice. And OP said that she planned to give many weeks notice/severance anyway.

But then again, OP hasn't come back and has had several people try to give really helpful feedback, so maybe this was another fake post...