Letter of recommendation for a nanny we let go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here.

You probably shouldn't have accepted a FB friend request.

Re a reference letter - I think you can write a fairly basic, fair letter that doesn't misrepresent anything.

Something like:

Ms. X was employed as a nanny for our two sons, ages y and z, for the period of ____. During that time she was responsible for cooking meals, chauferring them to and from school and activities, doing their laundry, etc....

Ms. X was always punctual and reliable. She was particularly good at (find something to say - even if it "always leaving the kitchen and play spaces clean and organized at the end of the day).

We wish her the best in her career.


Then you're done. You've not said anything untrue or unkind, and you've given her something documenting her time of employment.

If she presses you to say more you can always say "I'm sorry but that's all I feel comfortable saying, given that I don't think it ended up being a good fit."

If someone contacts you by phone for a more detailed reference you can answer those questions as you see fit, but it's certainly possible to write a limited, factual reference letter that essentially verifies employment and some basic skills.

Good idea, pass her on to another unsuspecting family.

oh

sounds like she have no interest on getting any LETTER from you!!!!! Pulse if you try to do anything the law will punish you!!! She absolutely knows what you trying to do!!
to let you know we keep trucking on you! Keep in mind you just want to get your way NO NO !!!! you can't !!!! In fact you are writing to yourself all this post no One giving Any Opinion To be honest !! Suck it up !!!

Are you special ed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Thank you all for the advice, especially 11:46. I'm going to go ahead and write a customized version of that excellent letter. There were more issues than I've let on here and we tried unsuccessfully to communicate with her and resolve them before we let her go, but she proved to be unresponsive to feedback, so I doubt it would buy me anything to be overly communicative at this point. I think by writing such a generic letter it will raise the right questions with any prospective family, I know it would with me. Probably right, I shouldn't have accepted that friend request, maybe someday I'll just quietly unfriend her and move on.

Why on earth would you write a recommendation for someone who is clearly an unprofessional and, well, poor nanny? That is a really unkind thing to do to any new family that might be considering employing her. And a letter. Which she can permanently use over and over again every time she is fired. Not smart, OP. Not smart.

Also, why would you accept a FB friend request from someone you fired?

What you should have done is not accepted the request. If she contacted you to ask for a reference, kindly say you aren't comfortable serving as a reference for her. No need to say why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Thank you all for the advice, especially 11:46. I'm going to go ahead and write a customized version of that excellent letter. There were more issues than I've let on here and we tried unsuccessfully to communicate with her and resolve them before we let her go, but she proved to be unresponsive to feedback, so I doubt it would buy me anything to be overly communicative at this point. I think by writing such a generic letter it will raise the right questions with any prospective family, I know it would with me. Probably right, I shouldn't have accepted that friend request, maybe someday I'll just quietly unfriend her and move on.

Why on earth would you write a recommendation for someone who is clearly an unprofessional and, well, poor nanny? That is a really unkind thing to do to any new family that might be considering employing her. And a letter. Which she can permanently use over and over again every time she is fired. Not smart, OP. Not smart.

Also, why would you accept a FB friend request from someone you fired?

What you should have done is not accepted the request. If she contacted you to ask for a reference, kindly say you aren't comfortable serving as a reference for her. No need to say why.

NP here, but I also think this is the kindest thing to do. A letter just leads directly to a phone call which will lead directly to questions that you cannot answer without either lying or ruining her chances at a job. Better to let her be aware that no positive reference is coming from you, so she can deal with it, rather than have her under the impression that you are trying to be her advocate.

[Anonymous]

New poster here, and I'm for generic letter as suggested, IF you think that the issues that the nanny had were only for family like yours (eg, older kids when the nanny need to try harder to bond with them), and that for another family she might be OK fit. If you think that there is no family for whom she can be a safe nanny, then you need to explain it and decline recommendation.

I departed with two nannies because I had issues. With first one I was sure that she was great with infants (but I had issues with her with toddlers). The Letter specifically stated that, and when references called I explained my opinion. She ended up becoming infant specialist, and last time I checked is moving from one senate staffer to another and probably doubled her rate.

For the second nanny I let go and had issues with, I gave generic letter as above. When the new potential MB called she stated that she knew we had issues, did not want to hear my side of the story and had only two very specific questions like driving and whether she pushes religion on kids (both of which were fine). If an MB is not willing to dig, well that's her problem.