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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Thank you all for the advice, especially 11:46. I'm going to go ahead and write a customized version of that excellent letter.  There were more issues than I've let on here and we tried unsuccessfully to communicate with her and resolve them before we let her go, but she proved to be unresponsive to feedback, so I doubt it would buy me anything to be overly communicative at this point.  I think by writing such a generic letter it will raise the right questions with any prospective family, I know it would with me. Probably right, I shouldn't have accepted that friend request, maybe someday I'll just quietly unfriend her and move on.
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Why on earth would you write a recommendation for someone who is clearly an unprofessional and, well, poor nanny? That is a really unkind thing to do to any new family that might be considering employing her. And a letter. Which she can permanently use over and over again every time she is fired. Not smart, OP. Not smart.

Also, why would you accept a FB friend request from someone you fired?

What you should have done is not accepted the request. If she contacted you to ask for a reference, kindly say you aren't comfortable serving as a reference for her. No need to say why. [/quote]

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