Nanny is making plansw/child without looping me in

[Anonymous]

Yes, usually the parent makes the schedule and the nanny adheres to it.

If the nanny should have an idea such as seeing a movie or going ice skating, she should run it by the parents prior to see if they are okay with the activity as well as okay to finance the activity for both the child and her nanny.

Or if nothing particular is scheduled, the nanny should be allowed to think up activities on her own if the parents do not.

I used to watch a little boy and his parents left it up to me to take him wherever I wanted. And if I ever needed money up front for parking, etc., I would always ask beforehand vs. expecting it later with my next check.

[Anonymous]

Your 19 year old is a sitter, not a nanny.

[Anonymous]

An experienced nanny would have great communication skills. I do not think the OP is debating that she would like her daughter to be active but asking to know what is going on with her daughter and her home. OP at 19 your nanny is learning the art of communication, if you like her besides that part you might come up with a tool to help the both of you. Nannies like to feel part of the picture so you might find and AP or something written that your nanny can communicate with you as to things you want to know about. Perhaps sit down at the beginning of the week and Pow Wow the plan, this may help your nanny and you. If your nanny is not willing to follow your expectations then let her know that needs to change, it is your daughter and you have a right to what she does, your nanny does not.

[Anonymous]

OP your nanny is still a teen and at the age most have no idea how to manage their finances. Your nanny is probably not treating this as a real job, she is just thinking of your child as her sister and you in the role of a [her] parent who gives whatever she asks for and they go out and do fun things together.

[Anonymous]

You're lucky. I couldn't get my nannies out of the house with my kids. All they wanted to do was play video games (and not include the kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're lucky. I couldn't get my nannies out of the house with my kids. All they wanted to do was play video games (and not include the kids).

That is *not* a nanny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a nanny for an 11 yr old, she's 19. For the most part things have gone pretty well but there have been some instances which have really gotten under my skin and I'm wondering if it'sa lack of maturity?

She does after school pickup and I instruct her to either take the child to the library to help with homework, or go to a designated activity. A few times she has made activity plans without letting me know only to tell me on payday(with the expectation that I fork over the extra money for something I did not approve).

Last night I received an email reminding me to send a lock and money with the child to school today because they were going ice skating. Which I never set up so I find it pretty irritating that instead of ASKING she TOLD me they were going ice skating as if she's the parent in this situation!

This comes after yesterday when they went to a matinee (I set this activity up) and then she kept her hanging out for an hour later instead of coming straight home.

Am I being unreasonable? Aren't most nannies supposed to do what the parent asks and not make up a schedule for the child on the fly?

It sounds like your nanny has a good relationship with your daughter, which is great. It also sounds like she's still a young adult so might need help with being professional and communication. This is how I would handle it, assuming you have no other issues with her.

Sit down with the nanny and tell her you'd like to discuss planning their time together. Tell her (for instance), that they have approximately X (say six maybe?) hours together. The way you'd like your daughter to spend them is first (for instance) have a snack, then do her homework. In the remaining (for instance) three hours, they are free to do anything they wish out of a preapproved list of activities (museum, movie, skating, play, whatever). If they'd like to do something that needs money, your budget for these activities is $X a week. Let her plan this amount as she sees fit, so if your budget is $20 and they've blown it on skating on Monday, then it's free stuff for the rest of the week. You don't need to spend more, you just need to give her the weekly allowance and let her handle the rest. Again, this assumes there are no other issues with nanny and all you want is a bit more predictability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're lucky. I couldn't get my nannies out of the house with my kids. All they wanted to do was play video games (and not include the kids).

It sounds like OP does not allow them in the house.

[Anonymous]

An 11 yr old does not need a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An 11 yr old does not need a nanny.

In your opinion, an 11 year old doesn't need a nanny. I've interviewed for several families who have 9-16 year olds, and they are certainly looking for a nanny. Sometimes there's a diagnosed issue, sometimes the parents have lost control of the child's behavior and need a nanny who can help set things on a better path. Kids under 16 can't drive themselves, they frequently need help with homework and reminders to use their manners, do their homework and chores and cook them dinner. Parents who work long hours need soeone there, especially if they are gone overnight or maybe even all week. Nannying for infants and toddlers is very different from nannying for tweens and teens, but the difference doesn't invalidate the need for either one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An 11 yr old does not need a nanny.

In your opinion, an 11 year old doesn't need a nanny. I've interviewed for several families who have 9-16 year olds, and they are certainly looking for a nanny. Sometimes there's a diagnosed issue, sometimes the parents have lost control of the child's behavior and need a nanny who can help set things on a better path. Kids under 16 can't drive themselves, they frequently need help with homework and reminders to use their manners, do their homework and chores and cook them dinner. Parents who work long hours need soeone there, especially if they are gone overnight or maybe even all week. Nannying for infants and toddlers is very different from nannying for tweens and teens, but the difference doesn't invalidate the need for either one.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're lucky. I couldn't get my nannies out of the house with my kids. All they wanted to do was play video games (and not include the kids).

That is *not* a nanny!

Exactly. People really should learn the difference between a sitter and a nanny.