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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a nanny for an 11 yr old, she's 19.  For the most part things have gone pretty well but there have been some instances which have really gotten under my skin and I'm wondering if it'sa lack of maturity?

She does after school pickup and I instruct her to either take the child to the library to help with homework, or go to a designated activity.  A few times she has made activity plans without letting me know only to tell me on payday(with the expectation that I fork over the extra money for something I did not approve).

Last night I received an email reminding me to send a lock and money with the child to school today because they were going ice skating. Which I never set up so I find it pretty irritating that instead of ASKING she TOLD me they were going ice skating as if she's the parent in this situation!

This comes after yesterday when they went to a matinee (I set this activity up) and then she kept her hanging out for an hour later instead of coming straight home.

Am I being unreasonable? Aren't most nannies supposed to do what the parent asks and not make up a schedule for the child on the fly?[/quote]
It sounds like your nanny has a good relationship with your daughter, which is great. It also sounds like she's still a young adult so might need help with being professional and communication.  This is how I would handle it, assuming you have no other issues with her.

Sit down with the nanny and tell her you'd like to discuss planning their time together.  Tell her (for instance), that they have approximately X (say six maybe?) hours together.  The way you'd like your daughter to spend them is first (for instance) have a snack, then do her homework.  In the remaining (for instance) three hours, they are free to do anything they wish out of a preapproved list of activities (museum, movie, skating, play, whatever).  If they'd like to do something that needs money, your budget for these activities is $X a week.  Let her plan this amount as she sees fit, so if your budget is $20 and they've blown it on skating on Monday, then it's free stuff for the rest of the week.  You don't need to spend more, you just need to give her the weekly allowance and let her handle the rest.  Again, this assumes there are no other issues with nanny and all you want is a bit more predictability. [/quote]

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