Get Involved Or Stay Out Of It?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of twins here, who also employs a nanny.

Your job is to manage this OP - this isn't a choice. If you want any nanny to stay in the job you need to be sure you are clear in your direction, have the nanny's back when other people are in the house, and you ensure that what you and the nanny have worked out stays in effect.

Period.

Your twins absolutely must be on a schedule - for their health and eveyrone's sanity. Cutting back on naps at this point is a bad idea. Sleeping 12 hours at night is pretty unrealistic at this point - focus on getting 6-8 hours of continuous sleep for right now.

But have your nanny's back. IMO you are breaking one of the critical rules here. Would you want to work in the kind of environment your nanny is enduring?

Your mother is leaving, your nanny is not (hopefully).

+1. OP, your post was hard to read. I understand that you are going through an extreme situation, two demanding jobs, a 17 month old and 4 month old twins!! just one child would be enough, three under 2 in this situation is hard. but the bottom line is that what your mother is doing is really bad to them, keeping them awake so they sleep at night? this border on abuse. plus, I believe it may work a day or two but eventually the babies will sleep longer during the day because they simply need it. at that age a short nap (1-2 hours) and a longer nap (3 hours) in the afternoon are normal (and I talk as the mother of two kids, one who slept through most of the night from the beginning and one who basically never slept through one night until well past 2 years old). it sounds like you have a good nanny and a mother who simply wants to assert her role instead of respecting yours and the nanny's. if you need night help, hire a night nurse, just for a few months so you can sleep and your babies can have the sleep they need, not the one your mother decides they can have.

[Anonymous]

OP here, so we ended up letting the nanny go, and that didn't go over well.

We are having trouble with the new nanny we hired. She is late, has called out several Fridays, the twins still aren't on a schedule and she seems to have trouble keeping up with all 3.


My mom suggests putting the oldest in daycare part time.
I'm not sure I want to, but I also don't want to hire a third nanny.

I'

[Anonymous]

This cannot be for real. OP, you mean you came here for advice, disregarded all of it and now you're complaining? Got to be a troll or the dumbest MB ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This cannot be for real. OP, you mean you came here for advice, disregarded all of it and now you're complaining? Got to be a troll or the dumbest MB ever.

No . we had to let other nanny go because financially we wouldn't be able to keep her. We thought we would be able to afford and work out the odd hours with the help of family, but family wasn't able to help as much as we thought and it would be too much to have former nanny work the extra hours we needed.
Yes my mom did help find a current nanny, she has more experience hiring people than I do. New nanny had worked in daycare with small kids, so we thought she would be okay handling 3 small ones, but she just seems very disorganized and stressed.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm a nanny who specializes in caring for multiples. I currently care for triplets that I've been with since birth.

You need to find someone who has cared for multiples or several small children alone. Daycare workers can be great, but they often haven't had to juggle things by themselves as they work with coworkers so do not always make great nannies. I know you are on a budget, but try to make it work at least for the first year of the twins life. Having a good foundation and schedule can make a huge difference for your sanity.

Speaking from experience, your job is very busy and can be chaotic. You need to find someone who embraces this and can be the calm in the eye of the storm. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, so we ended up letting the nanny go, and that didn't go over well.

We are having trouble with the new nanny we hired. She is late, has called out several Fridays, the twins still aren't on a schedule and she seems to have trouble keeping up with all 3.


My mom suggests putting the oldest in daycare part time.
I'm not sure I want to, but I also don't want to hire a third nanny.

I'

If you're interested I'm a nanny with experince with multiples. I'm available to help short term until March if you're interested. I'm located close to the H st area.

[Anonymous]

OP, your options are:
A) hire a nanny who can competently handle all 3, possibly via dipping into savings
B) pay for daycare for all 3 (how much cheaper is this, really?)
C) one of you takes leave to get babies on a good schedule then you hire a nanny who just has to maintain
D) some crazy combination like toddler in daycare and grandma and nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your options are:
A) hire a nanny who can competently handle all 3, possibly via dipping into savings
B) pay for daycare for all 3 (how much cheaper is this, really?)
C) one of you takes leave to get babies on a good schedule then you hire a nanny who just has to maintain
D) some crazy combination like toddler in daycare and grandma and nanny

E) You hire a live-in nanny who will agree to work 24/5, you work extra hours to be able to pay her without dipping into savings too much, you support that she is the authority with the children while working, and you get all three children on a manageable schedule within a month.