Giving Notice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this just a bunch of posts by OP posing as new posters?

There is zero clarity her and just a slew of fake pats on the back to OP.

That's what I think also.

Professionals have boundaries, almost every nanny position is of a couple of years in tenure until kids age out or nannies move on. OP needs to either have a thicker skin with her boss, sit down and address concerns with her boss, or move on. Any of those are fine and up to her. But a professional nanny also needs to be able to manage her attachment to kids for whom she cares. Love them sure, but you are only with them for a while and then you'll move on. You'll love other kids, kids will love other nannies, life goes on...

[Anonymous]

OP here and this is my first nanny position although I have been a preschool teacher for many years. I am very torn. Thank you for your responses - even the bitchy ones - as I agree I am way too attached to my charge.

I will request a formal recommendation letter and secure a new position (probably out of the neighborhood - I will not hurt my current charge) before I give my final notice.

I truly do hate my MB for putting me in this position but I am more angry at myself for putting up with it for so long and getting so attached to my charge. Everywhere we go - library, Music Together, Parent & Me - people comment on how great I am with him and how lucky my employers are to have me. My MB seems to be the only one who doesn't appreciate how good I am with her child.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this just a bunch of posts by OP posing as new posters?

There is zero clarity her and just a slew of fake pats on the back to OP.

That's what I think also.

Professionals have boundaries, almost every nanny position is of a couple of years in tenure until kids age out or nannies move on. OP needs to either have a thicker skin with her boss, sit down and address concerns with her boss, or move on. Any of those are fine and up to her. But a professional nanny also needs to be able to manage her attachment to kids for whom she cares. Love them sure, but you are only with them for a while and then you'll move on. You'll love other kids, kids will love other nannies, life goes on...

There's one word for you: ruthless.
Your child is in fact a child, not just another job for most of us dedicated nannies. To you he may be a headache. If so, I'm sorry for you both.

Little children need to be loved by their primary caregivers, even if you disagee. Your life will indeed go on, but your child will suffer the consequences of revolving door nannies down the road. Mark my words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this just a bunch of posts by OP posing as new posters?

There is zero clarity her and just a slew of fake pats on the back to OP.

That's what I think also.

Professionals have boundaries, almost every nanny position is of a couple of years in tenure until kids age out or nannies move on. OP needs to either have a thicker skin with her boss, sit down and address concerns with her boss, or move on. Any of those are fine and up to her. But a professional nanny also needs to be able to manage her attachment to kids for whom she cares. Love them sure, but you are only with them for a while and then you'll move on. You'll love other kids, kids will love other nannies, life goes on...

There's one word for you: ruthless.
Your child is in fact a child, not just another job for most of us dedicated nannies. To you he may be a headache. If so, I'm sorry for you both.

Little children need to be loved by their primary caregivers, even if you disagee. Your life will indeed go on, but your child will suffer the consequences of revolving door nannies down the road. Mark my words.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this just a bunch of posts by OP posing as new posters?

There is zero clarity her and just a slew of fake pats on the back to OP.

That's what I think also.

Professionals have boundaries, almost every nanny position is of a couple of years in tenure until kids age out or nannies move on. OP needs to either have a thicker skin with her boss, sit down and address concerns with her boss, or move on. Any of those are fine and up to her. But a professional nanny also needs to be able to manage her attachment to kids for whom she cares. Love them sure, but you are only with them for a while and then you'll move on. You'll love other kids, kids will love other nannies, life goes on...

There's one word for you: ruthless.
Your child is in fact a child, not just another job for most of us dedicated nannies. To you he may be a headache. If so, I'm sorry for you both.

Little children need to be loved by their primary caregivers, even if you disagee. Your life will indeed go on, but your child will suffer the consequences of revolving door nannies down the road. Mark my words.

So now the pp who thinks nannies should have boundaries doesn't love her kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this just a bunch of posts by OP posing as new posters?

There is zero clarity her and just a slew of fake pats on the back to OP.

That's what I think also.

Professionals have boundaries, almost every nanny position is of a couple of years in tenure until kids age out or nannies move on. OP needs to either have a thicker skin with her boss, sit down and address concerns with her boss, or move on. Any of those are fine and up to her. But a professional nanny also needs to be able to manage her attachment to kids for whom she cares. Love them sure, but you are only with them for a while and then you'll move on. You'll love other kids, kids will love other nannies, life goes on...

There's one word for you: ruthless.
Your child is in fact a child, not just another job for most of us dedicated nannies. To you he may be a headache. If so, I'm sorry for you both.

Little children need to be loved by their primary caregivers, even if you disagee. Your life will indeed go on, but your child will suffer the consequences of revolving door nannies down the road. Mark my words.

So now the pp who thinks nannies should have boundaries doesn't love her kid?

Huh? What are you trying to get at?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this just a bunch of posts by OP posing as new posters?

There is zero clarity her and just a slew of fake pats on the back to OP.

That's what I think also.

Professionals have boundaries, almost every nanny position is of a couple of years in tenure until kids age out or nannies move on. OP needs to either have a thicker skin with her boss, sit down and address concerns with her boss, or move on. Any of those are fine and up to her. But a professional nanny also needs to be able to manage her attachment to kids for whom she cares. Love them sure, but you are only with them for a while and then you'll move on. You'll love other kids, kids will love other nannies, life goes on...

There's one word for you: ruthless.
Your child is in fact a child, not just another job for most of us dedicated nannies. To you he may be a headache. If so, I'm sorry for you both.

Little children need to be loved by their primary caregivers, even if you disagee. Your life will indeed go on, but your child will suffer the consequences of revolving door nannies down the road. Mark my words.

So now the pp who thinks nannies should have boundaries doesn't love her kid?

Huh? What are you trying to get at?

"Children need to be loved by their parents, even if you disagree." Implying that she doesn't love her kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this just a bunch of posts by OP posing as new posters?

There is zero clarity her and just a slew of fake pats on the back to OP.

That's what I think also.

Professionals have boundaries, almost every nanny position is of a couple of years in tenure until kids age out or nannies move on. OP needs to either have a thicker skin with her boss, sit down and address concerns with her boss, or move on. Any of those are fine and up to her. But a professional nanny also needs to be able to manage her attachment to kids for whom she cares. Love them sure, but you are only with them for a while and then you'll move on. You'll love other kids, kids will love other nannies, life goes on...

There's one word for you: ruthless.
Your child is in fact a child, not just another job for most of us dedicated nannies. To you he may be a headache. If so, I'm sorry for you both.

Little children need to be loved by their primary caregivers, even if you disagee. Your life will indeed go on, but your child will suffer the consequences of revolving door nannies down the road. Mark my words.

So now the pp who thinks nannies should have boundaries doesn't love her kid?

Huh? What are you trying to get at?

"Children need to be loved by their parents, even if you disagree." Implying that she doesn't love her kids?

I said, "Children need to be loved by their primary caregivers...."

Sometimes that person is a parent, sometimes it's the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this just a bunch of posts by OP posing as new posters?

There is zero clarity her and just a slew of fake pats on the back to OP.

That's what I think also.

Professionals have boundaries, almost every nanny position is of a couple of years in tenure until kids age out or nannies move on. OP needs to either have a thicker skin with her boss, sit down and address concerns with her boss, or move on. Any of those are fine and up to her. But a professional nanny also needs to be able to manage her attachment to kids for whom she cares. Love them sure, but you are only with them for a while and then you'll move on. You'll love other kids, kids will love other nannies, life goes on...

There's one word for you: ruthless.
Your child is in fact a child, not just another job for most of us dedicated nannies. To you he may be a headache. If so, I'm sorry for you both.

Little children need to be loved by their primary caregivers, even if you disagee. Your life will indeed go on, but your child will suffer the consequences of revolving door nannies down the road. Mark my words.

So now the pp who thinks nannies should have boundaries doesn't love her kid?

Huh? What are you trying to get at?

"Children need to be loved by their parents, even if you disagree." Implying that she doesn't love her kids?

I said, "Children need to be loved by their primary caregivers...."

Sometimes that person is a parent, sometimes it's the nanny.

To further clarify, parents who love their children will do what they can to maintain the stable, competent and loving care of a good nanny. Or opt for better arrangements, perhaps a family member with those qualities.

[Anonymous]

As a nanny, it is hard to NOT get attached with the children, but receiving respect and being appreciated (and of course getting paid) also takes precedent. You said you'll get a formal recommendation letter? I know this was your first nanny gig I believe you said? Keep in mind, many families will want to call and talk with them.. A letter is not enough to be hired, it's a bonus of course ! But if they're you're only reference, someone will most certainly call so keep things cool until you get that stellar reference to move on !! Good luck hun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a nanny, it is hard to NOT get attached with the children, but receiving respect and being appreciated (and of course getting paid) also takes precedent. You said you'll get a formal recommendation letter? I know this was your first nanny gig I believe you said? Keep in mind, many families will want to call and talk with them.. A letter is not enough to be hired, it's a bonus of course ! But if they're you're only reference, someone will most certainly call so keep things cool until you get that stellar reference to move on !! Good luck hun

We all know about lying disgruntled parents on the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the problem you're having with the MB? Everyone here is judging her without any idea of what it is that MB supposedly is doing.

When nanny says the mom is driving her crazy, every nanny knows what that means. Only another crazy mom needs to ask.

+1 OP is clearly very devoted to her charge and is most likely a very good nanny. She has his best interest at heart and is even concerned about him after she is gone and tears up over him. It is not about money or hours.

I understand - not the specifics of what is "driving her crazy" but like PP I understand what she means.

I think every nanny knows generally what she means. Specifics don't matter. Her MB is driving her to tears.

OP, I have no advice but to make sure you get a recommendation letter NOW before you tell her you are leaving and consider your next position in a different neighborhood to make it easier on your charge. He will not understand why you aren't with him and are with another child instead. Make it easier on yourself, too.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

If you give your notice & move on to another position OP, there is a risk involved that your current family will be angry. Unfair, I know but as I've read on this forum many times it happens over + over. Even nannies who have the courtesy of giving many weeks of notice, I still hear about families letting them go immediately.

Guess it's all part of the Nanny/Parent dynamic.

Is there any way you can talk to your Mom Boss and try to iron out your issues w/her? If not, then at least offer to baby-sit on occasion so you can still see your charge from time to time. *NOTE: I know that you love your charge, however do not offer your services for free. If they are not open to having you occasionally sit for them, ask the parents if you can have occasional visits (unpaid, just friendly visits) so that you can stay in touch w/their little guy.

Good luck. Hope it all works out in the end.

[Anonymous]

Take the weekend, OP. Is there anyway you can work things out with your MB? Look - you love your charge and your job and are clearly good at it. Don't let the bitch spoil this for you!

And PP is right - for your first nanny job -- and a nanny job that you have held for two years -- you need a great reference.

Concentrate on your charge and try to forget about the MB. Unless she is home during the day... then I don't know what to tell you...

But if she leaves for work in the morning and you have your charge all day alone you can find a way to deal with her shit.

Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Unless they were paying me to put up with that kind of parent, I wouldn't do it.