Nanny working when MB has day off

[Anonymous]

I will be honest here. It bugs me. Yeah I know its your right to do what you want while you're paying me and all, and it may not be logical, but yes this bothers me. Do it often enough and we will have some serious resentment between us. I think what really bothers me is that the only reason you have these extra vacation days to use for nonsense is because you've given me the least amount of vacation time you could get away with. To say that a nanny could use her time off in the same is disingenuous. Most of us get 2 weeks, one of which you tell us when to use it.
So, OP, you can pull this a few times a year without doing serious damage to your relationship with your nanny, but make a habit of it, and it is basically rubbing your excessive vacation time in her face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will be honest here. It bugs me. Yeah I know its your right to do what you want while you're paying me and all, and it may not be logical, but yes this bothers me. Do it often enough and we will have some serious resentment between us. I think what really bothers me is that the only reason you have these extra vacation days to use for nonsense is because you've given me the least amount of vacation time you could get away with. To say that a nanny could use her time off in the same is disingenuous. Most of us get 2 weeks, one of which you tell us when to use it.
So, OP, you can pull this a few times a year without doing serious damage to your relationship with your nanny, but make a habit of it, and it is basically rubbing your excessive vacation time in her face.

That's because you interpret "excessive" as "more than I have". That's not necessarily the case. Presumably you knew how much vacation time the job gave before you signed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be honest here. It bugs me. Yeah I know its your right to do what you want while you're paying me and all, and it may not be logical, but yes this bothers me. Do it often enough and we will have some serious resentment between us. I think what really bothers me is that the only reason you have these extra vacation days to use for nonsense is because you've given me the least amount of vacation time you could get away with. To say that a nanny could use her time off in the same is disingenuous. Most of us get 2 weeks, one of which you tell us when to use it.
So, OP, you can pull this a few times a year without doing serious damage to your relationship with your nanny, but make a habit of it, and it is basically rubbing your excessive vacation time in her face.

That's because you interpret "excessive" as "more than I have". That's not necessarily the case. Presumably you knew how much vacation time the job gave before you signed up.

Look, I said my feelings may not be logical, but OP expressed concern that she will cause hard feelings by doing this. Anyone who is being honest with you is going to tell you that they do not enjoy having disparities rubbed in their face. So as I said, sure OP is well within her right to do this, and if it is occasional it probably won't be a big deal. However if she intends to make a habit of it, yes, her nanny isn't going to love it. That's just real honest human nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be honest here. It bugs me. Yeah I know its your right to do what you want while you're paying me and all, and it may not be logical, but yes this bothers me. Do it often enough and we will have some serious resentment between us. I think what really bothers me is that the only reason you have these extra vacation days to use for nonsense is because you've given me the least amount of vacation time you could get away with. To say that a nanny could use her time off in the same is disingenuous. Most of us get 2 weeks, one of which you tell us when to use it.
So, OP, you can pull this a few times a year without doing serious damage to your relationship with your nanny, but make a habit of it, and it is basically rubbing your excessive vacation time in her face.

That's because you interpret "excessive" as "more than I have". That's not necessarily the case. Presumably you knew how much vacation time the job gave before you signed up.

Look, I said my feelings may not be logical, but OP expressed concern that she will cause hard feelings by doing this. Anyone who is being honest with you is going to tell you that they do not enjoy having disparities rubbed in their face. So as I said, sure OP is well within her right to do this, and if it is occasional it probably won't be a big deal. However if she intends to make a habit of it, yes, her nanny isn't going to love it. That's just real honest human nature.

I think you have a few levels of long built up resentment showing here. You are assuming disparities, you know your feelings aren't logical, you are applying whatever your past disgruntlements are to everyone here, and inferring all sorts of unpleasant intent.

I get X number of vacation days. You get X number of vacation days. Both of us can spend those days however we choose. Big trip, time w/ family, daily errands, sitting in bed eating Cheetos, whatever...

If you're cashing your check for being paid on those days, not being asked to suffer anything out of the ordinary, and not having your daily routine interfered with, then what your employer(s) are doing w/ the day shouldn't matter at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be honest here. It bugs me. Yeah I know its your right to do what you want while you're paying me and all, and it may not be logical, but yes this bothers me. Do it often enough and we will have some serious resentment between us. I think what really bothers me is that the only reason you have these extra vacation days to use for nonsense is because you've given me the least amount of vacation time you could get away with. To say that a nanny could use her time off in the same is disingenuous. Most of us get 2 weeks, one of which you tell us when to use it.
So, OP, you can pull this a few times a year without doing serious damage to your relationship with your nanny, but make a habit of it, and it is basically rubbing your excessive vacation time in her face.

That's because you interpret "excessive" as "more than I have". That's not necessarily the case. Presumably you knew how much vacation time the job gave before you signed up.

Look, I said my feelings may not be logical, but OP expressed concern that she will cause hard feelings by doing this. Anyone who is being honest with you is going to tell you that they do not enjoy having disparities rubbed in their face. So as I said, sure OP is well within her right to do this, and if it is occasional it probably won't be a big deal. However if she intends to make a habit of it, yes, her nanny isn't going to love it. That's just real honest human nature.

I think you have a few levels of long built up resentment showing here. You are assuming disparities, you know your feelings aren't logical, you are applying whatever your past disgruntlements are to everyone here, and inferring all sorts of unpleasant intent.

I get X number of vacation days. You get X number of vacation days. Both of us can spend those days however we choose. Big trip, time w/ family, daily errands, sitting in bed eating Cheetos, whatever...

If you're cashing your check for being paid on those days, not being asked to suffer anything out of the ordinary, and not having your daily routine interfered with, then what your employer(s) are doing w/ the day shouldn't matter at all.

I just tried to answer OPs question honestly. I would resent it after a while, and I think most people would if they're being honest. You can say what you want about facts and logic, but people are not logical. Your logic isn't going to do OP any good when her nanny catches an attitude every time she does this, or when her nanny quits one day and she is blindsided. "But the Internet people said *logically* everything would be fine!!!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are new to the nanny employment world and want to make sure that we are doing the best we can. Our nanny is wonderful and our DD loves her. Whenever I have days off (mostly federal holidays, but a few other days here and there), I usually tell the nanny that I don't need her to come in. We are going on a week vacation this week and, of course, plan to pay the nanny while we are gone. I took tomorrow off from work intentionally to run a ton of errands, pack, and otherwise get ready for the trip. I was planning on having the nanny come in, even though I am off, so that I can do all those things much faster.

What is the general "rule" about this. Should the nanny get the day off because I am not at work? Do nannies resent coming to work to find the MB or DB is there? I really value our nanny and don't want to unintentionally cause any hard feelings and so am trying to figure out what is standard expectations for things like this. It is not in our contract that she will get the day off if I have the day off, but I also never really envisioned something like this.

Any advice is helpful. TIA.

I have it written into my contract that when my MB or DB get a holiday off, I have it off and paid. If they have a holiday off and choose to have me work, I am paid at least double for the day.

Random days are different. My employers take their PTO and vacation when they choose. I am paid normal rate plus overtime if required if I work it, and typically those times are because they need to do major household cleaning, errands or taxes. If they give me the day off, I expect to be paid. As long as they don't have an issue figuring out what to do when my PTO comes around, I would never think of expecting the day off when my MB and/or DB had the day off.

When my employers take sick days, I thoroughly expect to come in. On those days, I keep the kids away from the parents (and usually out of the house), so that the parent can rest and recuperate.

[Anonymous]

THat is fine. Nanny contract should stipulate exactly what days are off. We don't get fed holidays off at all so need our nanny. If you are taking a day off to get some personal business done, so what. That is irrelevant to the nanny, whom you are paying for.


BTW, people seem to be complaining about MB or DB being in the house. Wonder how they handled when MB was home on maternity leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be honest here. It bugs me. Yeah I know its your right to do what you want while you're paying me and all, and it may not be logical, but yes this bothers me. Do it often enough and we will have some serious resentment between us. I think what really bothers me is that the only reason you have these extra vacation days to use for nonsense is because you've given me the least amount of vacation time you could get away with. To say that a nanny could use her time off in the same is disingenuous. Most of us get 2 weeks, one of which you tell us when to use it.
So, OP, you can pull this a few times a year without doing serious damage to your relationship with your nanny, but make a habit of it, and it is basically rubbing your excessive vacation time in her face.

That's because you interpret "excessive" as "more than I have". That's not necessarily the case. Presumably you knew how much vacation time the job gave before you signed up.

Look, I said my feelings may not be logical, but OP expressed concern that she will cause hard feelings by doing this. Anyone who is being honest with you is going to tell you that they do not enjoy having disparities rubbed in their face. So as I said, sure OP is well within her right to do this, and if it is occasional it probably won't be a big deal. However if she intends to make a habit of it, yes, her nanny isn't going to love it. That's just real honest human nature.

I think you have a few levels of long built up resentment showing here. You are assuming disparities, you know your feelings aren't logical, you are applying whatever your past disgruntlements are to everyone here, and inferring all sorts of unpleasant intent.

I get X number of vacation days. You get X number of vacation days. Both of us can spend those days however we choose. Big trip, time w/ family, daily errands, sitting in bed eating Cheetos, whatever...

If you're cashing your check for being paid on those days, not being asked to suffer anything out of the ordinary, and not having your daily routine interfered with, then what your employer(s) are doing w/ the day shouldn't matter at all.

I just tried to answer OPs question honestly. I would resent it after a while, and I think most people would if they're being honest. You can say what you want about facts and logic, but people are not logical. Your logic isn't going to do OP any good when her nanny catches an attitude every time she does this, or when her nanny quits one day and she is blindsided. "But the Internet people said *logically* everything would be fine!!!"

FYI - In most office and career jobs you do need to GET APPROVAL for your vacation time off. Your boss literally has to approve it and may not if too many people already put in for that week off, you are in the middle of a big project, or it is a busy time of year.
So no, you don't go storming into your boss's office and demand a certain week off with no plan. You can say you want to take this week off and you intend to, but if the paperwork is not signed you just look like an @$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:THat is fine. Nanny contract should stipulate exactly what days are off. We don't get fed holidays off at all so need our nanny. If you are taking a day off to get some personal business done, so what. That is irrelevant to the nanny, whom you are paying for.


BTW, people seem to be complaining about MB or DB being in the house. Wonder how they handled when MB was home on maternity leave?

I don't work with infants under 6 months, so I'm never there for maternity leave. I don't have an issue with SAHPs, as long as they understand that it's not good to constantly disrupt the kids' schedules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be honest here. It bugs me. Yeah I know its your right to do what you want while you're paying me and all, and it may not be logical, but yes this bothers me. Do it often enough and we will have some serious resentment between us. I think what really bothers me is that the only reason you have these extra vacation days to use for nonsense is because you've given me the least amount of vacation time you could get away with. To say that a nanny could use her time off in the same is disingenuous. Most of us get 2 weeks, one of which you tell us when to use it.
So, OP, you can pull this a few times a year without doing serious damage to your relationship with your nanny, but make a habit of it, and it is basically rubbing your excessive vacation time in her face.

That's because you interpret "excessive" as "more than I have". That's not necessarily the case. Presumably you knew how much vacation time the job gave before you signed up.

Look, I said my feelings may not be logical, but OP expressed concern that she will cause hard feelings by doing this. Anyone who is being honest with you is going to tell you that they do not enjoy having disparities rubbed in their face. So as I said, sure OP is well within her right to do this, and if it is occasional it probably won't be a big deal. However if she intends to make a habit of it, yes, her nanny isn't going to love it. That's just real honest human nature.

I think you have a few levels of long built up resentment showing here. You are assuming disparities, you know your feelings aren't logical, you are applying whatever your past disgruntlements are to everyone here, and inferring all sorts of unpleasant intent.

I get X number of vacation days. You get X number of vacation days. Both of us can spend those days however we choose. Big trip, time w/ family, daily errands, sitting in bed eating Cheetos, whatever...

If you're cashing your check for being paid on those days, not being asked to suffer anything out of the ordinary, and not having your daily routine interfered with, then what your employer(s) are doing w/ the day shouldn't matter at all.

I just tried to answer OPs question honestly. I would resent it after a while, and I think most people would if they're being honest. You can say what you want about facts and logic, but people are not logical. Your logic isn't going to do OP any good when her nanny catches an attitude every time she does this, or when her nanny quits one day and she is blindsided. "But the Internet people said *logically* everything would be fine!!!"

FYI - In most office and career jobs you do need to GET APPROVAL for your vacation time off. Your boss literally has to approve it and may not if too many people already put in for that week off, you are in the middle of a big project, or it is a busy time of year.
So no, you don't go storming into your boss's office and demand a certain week off with no plan. You can say you want to take this week off and you intend to, but if the paperwork is not signed you just look like an @$$.

That's is not the same thing as saying half of your vacation will be when I tell you it is, then also claiming your employee has the freedom to use their vacation as they see fit. It's really quite ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:THat is fine. Nanny contract should stipulate exactly what days are off. We don't get fed holidays off at all so need our nanny. If you are taking a day off to get some personal business done, so what. That is irrelevant to the nanny, whom you are paying for.


BTW, people seem to be complaining about MB or DB being in the house. Wonder how they handled when MB was home on maternity leave?

I don't work with infants under 6 months, so I'm never there for maternity leave. I don't have an issue with SAHPs, as long as they understand that it's not good to constantly disrupt the kids' schedules.

Your charge might have a younger sibling so MB will be home on maternity leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be honest here. It bugs me. Yeah I know its your right to do what you want while you're paying me and all, and it may not be logical, but yes this bothers me. Do it often enough and we will have some serious resentment between us. I think what really bothers me is that the only reason you have these extra vacation days to use for nonsense is because you've given me the least amount of vacation time you could get away with. To say that a nanny could use her time off in the same is disingenuous. Most of us get 2 weeks, one of which you tell us when to use it.
So, OP, you can pull this a few times a year without doing serious damage to your relationship with your nanny, but make a habit of it, and it is basically rubbing your excessive vacation time in her face.

That's because you interpret "excessive" as "more than I have". That's not necessarily the case. Presumably you knew how much vacation time the job gave before you signed up.

Look, I said my feelings may not be logical, but OP expressed concern that she will cause hard feelings by doing this. Anyone who is being honest with you is going to tell you that they do not enjoy having disparities rubbed in their face. So as I said, sure OP is well within her right to do this, and if it is occasional it probably won't be a big deal. However if she intends to make a habit of it, yes, her nanny isn't going to love it. That's just real honest human nature.

I think you have a few levels of long built up resentment showing here. You are assuming disparities, you know your feelings aren't logical, you are applying whatever your past disgruntlements are to everyone here, and inferring all sorts of unpleasant intent.

I get X number of vacation days. You get X number of vacation days. Both of us can spend those days however we choose. Big trip, time w/ family, daily errands, sitting in bed eating Cheetos, whatever...

If you're cashing your check for being paid on those days, not being asked to suffer anything out of the ordinary, and not having your daily routine interfered with, then what your employer(s) are doing w/ the day shouldn't matter at all.

I just tried to answer OPs question honestly. I would resent it after a while, and I think most people would if they're being honest. You can say what you want about facts and logic, but people are not logical. Your logic isn't going to do OP any good when her nanny catches an attitude every time she does this, or when her nanny quits one day and she is blindsided. "But the Internet people said *logically* everything would be fine!!!"

FYI - In most office and career jobs you do need to GET APPROVAL for your vacation time off. Your boss literally has to approve it and may not if too many people already put in for that week off, you are in the middle of a big project, or it is a busy time of year.
So no, you don't go storming into your boss's office and demand a certain week off with no plan. You can say you want to take this week off and you intend to, but if the paperwork is not signed you just look like an @$$.

That's is not the same thing as saying half of your vacation will be when I tell you it is, then also claiming your employee has the freedom to use their vacation as they see fit. It's really quite ridiculous.

Working with your employer to pick your vacation week is not ridiculous at all. Acting like a prima donna and taking off at a bad time for your employer is ridiculous.
In most cases, it all works out. But if you go in there demanding the week they are both on work travel, or the week the kids are home from school, or the week the new baby is due, all to save $20 on a flight or whatnot, you absolutely look ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be honest here. It bugs me. Yeah I know its your right to do what you want while you're paying me and all, and it may not be logical, but yes this bothers me. Do it often enough and we will have some serious resentment between us. I think what really bothers me is that the only reason you have these extra vacation days to use for nonsense is because you've given me the least amount of vacation time you could get away with. To say that a nanny could use her time off in the same is disingenuous. Most of us get 2 weeks, one of which you tell us when to use it.
So, OP, you can pull this a few times a year without doing serious damage to your relationship with your nanny, but make a habit of it, and it is basically rubbing your excessive vacation time in her face.

That's because you interpret "excessive" as "more than I have". That's not necessarily the case. Presumably you knew how much vacation time the job gave before you signed up.

Look, I said my feelings may not be logical, but OP expressed concern that she will cause hard feelings by doing this. Anyone who is being honest with you is going to tell you that they do not enjoy having disparities rubbed in their face. So as I said, sure OP is well within her right to do this, and if it is occasional it probably won't be a big deal. However if she intends to make a habit of it, yes, her nanny isn't going to love it. That's just real honest human nature.

I think you have a few levels of long built up resentment showing here. You are assuming disparities, you know your feelings aren't logical, you are applying whatever your past disgruntlements are to everyone here, and inferring all sorts of unpleasant intent.

I get X number of vacation days. You get X number of vacation days. Both of us can spend those days however we choose. Big trip, time w/ family, daily errands, sitting in bed eating Cheetos, whatever...

If you're cashing your check for being paid on those days, not being asked to suffer anything out of the ordinary, and not having your daily routine interfered with, then what your employer(s) are doing w/ the day shouldn't matter at all.

I just tried to answer OPs question honestly. I would resent it after a while, and I think most people would if they're being honest. You can say what you want about facts and logic, but people are not logical. Your logic isn't going to do OP any good when her nanny catches an attitude every time she does this, or when her nanny quits one day and she is blindsided. "But the Internet people said *logically* everything would be fine!!!"

FYI - In most office and career jobs you do need to GET APPROVAL for your vacation time off. Your boss literally has to approve it and may not if too many people already put in for that week off, you are in the middle of a big project, or it is a busy time of year.
So no, you don't go storming into your boss's office and demand a certain week off with no plan. You can say you want to take this week off and you intend to, but if the paperwork is not signed you just look like an @$$.

That's is not the same thing as saying half of your vacation will be when I tell you it is, then also claiming your employee has the freedom to use their vacation as they see fit. It's really quite ridiculous.

Working with your employer to pick your vacation week is not ridiculous at all. Acting like a prima donna and taking off at a bad time for your employer is ridiculous.
In most cases, it all works out. But if you go in there demanding the week they are both on work travel, or the week the kids are home from school, or the week the new baby is due, all to save $20 on a flight or whatnot, you absolutely look ridiculous.

Normally, I would agree with you. However, if my contract reads that I don't get a choice at all about 1 week, I will make sure that I don't have to get your approval for the other week. I will be a professional and give you 6 months notice, which definitely should be sufficient to arrange to stay home with the kids or make alternate childcare plans.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. It's your house and you can be in it for whatever reason you see fit. I'd appreciate it if you gave me a heads up that you're going to be around so I can plan activities that would keep us out of your way and/or out of the house, and it would do us both good if you tried to disrupt our routine as little as possible. But you should certainly feel free to run your errands and pack in peace, that's why you have a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:THat is fine. Nanny contract should stipulate exactly what days are off. We don't get fed holidays off at all so need our nanny. If you are taking a day off to get some personal business done, so what. That is irrelevant to the nanny, whom you are paying for.


BTW, people seem to be complaining about MB or DB being in the house. Wonder how they handled when MB was home on maternity leave?

I don't work with infants under 6 months, so I'm never there for maternity leave. I don't have an issue with SAHPs, as long as they understand that it's not good to constantly disrupt the kids' schedules.

Your charge might have a younger sibling so MB will be home on maternity leave.

No, I don't work when there are any children under 6 months. Period. All of my families understand that, and I've never had a problem with that. Additionally, I like big families, so I look for parents who have all the kids they can handle (or more) and won't be having more.