S/O if it disrespectful to ask your nanny...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, there is some family history and disease stuff that my nanny does not need to know about. . .we are a very open family, but there are just some things we keep to our family. I sometimes like to discuss them with the ped to make sure we are keeping an eye on it etc.

Your kid craps and vomits on your nanny, but she can't be privy to his medical information?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, as a lot of nannies said in the previous thread, the insulting part here is that Mb feels that because I am only the nanny (who spends 40+ hours a week with my charge), my input isn't needed or wanted and anything the doctor has to say is for her ears only. For me, it wouldn't be about the time, but it would be a serious wake-up call that MB does kot view me ad a valuable resource and a partner in raising her child, but as a babysitter. My attitude towards the job would change, and I might start looking for a family that will be happy to accept all the skills I can offer.

A daycare worker spends about the same amount of time with a baby/child and would never dream of going to their doctor appointments.

You'd also never dream of asking the daycare worker to accompany you and your child to a doctor appointment. It's a ridiculous comparison.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be offended.

I actually would prefer to sit in the waiting room w/a good book.

Easy money, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be offended.

I actually would prefer to sit in the waiting room w/a good book.

Easy money, right?

same here.i think I've gone into appointments twice that I can recall.once the mom was there and once only me. Totally not a big deal to me. I'd there's something specific I'm wondering about, I'll ask the parents to add it to their list of things to ask the doctor. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, as a lot of nannies said in the previous thread, the insulting part here is that Mb feels that because I am only the nanny (who spends 40+ hours a week with my charge), my input isn't needed or wanted and anything the doctor has to say is for her ears only. For me, it wouldn't be about the time, but it would be a serious wake-up call that MB does kot view me ad a valuable resource and a partner in raising her child, but as a babysitter. My attitude towards the job would change, and I might start looking for a family that will be happy to accept all the skills I can offer.

A daycare worker spends about the same amount of time with a baby/child and would never dream of going to their doctor appointments.

I have done both daycare and nanny work, and comparing then in this way is laughable. A daycare teacher has multiple kids to care for, from differing backgrounds, in a classroom environment. That daycare teacher will notice if the kid has a sniffle, yes- and immediately send him home. But she will not be uniquely bonded to one particular child, caring for that child through all situations, privy to the home environment and parental relationships, in charge of the baby's nutrition, etc etc.

As a nanny, I know all of the little details about my charge that I didn't know while teaching a class of 4-8 toddlers. I answer the questions the doctor asks about scheduling, eating habits, how the child reacts to change or sickness, how much and how often the child eliminates waste, developmental cues and checklists, long-term and in-depth insight into the child that just doesn't happen in a classroom.

[Anonymous]

None of this is a big deal - whether you invite the nanny to join you, or invite her to enjoy an extended coffee break around the corner. There's nothing inherently rude with either option, but how you speak to the nanny might be rude regardless of the circumstances. Some people just lack social graces and can manage to offend some one with something as simple asking for the salt.

Conversely, some people are easily offended because they feel undervalued by the world, so something so trivial because some huge to-do about how yet again, you've been snubbed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really hate when my nanny tries to accompany us into the exam room. Frankly, I don't need her going to the doctor's office with me, but she insists.

Why do you hate it? What does your nanny do that is so hateful?

We do not live in DC, actually we live in a rural area where nannies are uncommon. I once had a doctor roll her eyes over me bringing a nanny with me, so I don't do it anymore. Around here, it's seen no differently than having a 2+ ct diamond ring, just kind of tacky, in a flaunting your money kind of way. Also, since I don't wear dress clothes to work, it makes me appear as if I'm a SAHM who can't handle my own child without a nanny.

You chose the perception over the reality, so your child's primary caregiver is left at home? Wow.

I am my child's primary caregiver. I am sorry you seem to have a problem with our situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be offended.

I actually would prefer to sit in the waiting room w/a good book.

Easy money, right?

same here.i think I've gone into appointments twice that I can recall.once the mom was there and once only me. Totally not a big deal to me. I'd there's something specific I'm wondering about, I'll ask the parents to add it to their list of things to ask the doctor. Done.

Thank you, pps. There is often just one chair in the doctor's offices for a parent and I take my child in myself. I have great communication with my nanny so we both know what is going on with my child regarding her health. My nanny appreciates having some down time to read, text, surf the internet, or use the restroom by herself. I update her on the visit afterwards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, as a lot of nannies said in the previous thread, the insulting part here is that Mb feels that because I am only the nanny (who spends 40+ hours a week with my charge), my input isn't needed or wanted and anything the doctor has to say is for her ears only. For me, it wouldn't be about the time, but it would be a serious wake-up call that MB does kot view me ad a valuable resource and a partner in raising her child, but as a babysitter. My attitude towards the job would change, and I might start looking for a family that will be happy to accept all the skills I can offer.

A daycare worker spends about the same amount of time with a baby/child and would never dream of going to their doctor appointments.

A daycare worker is not working with just one family, with just one child or maybe two or three. A daycare worker is an employee of the company, not the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really hate when my nanny tries to accompany us into the exam room. Frankly, I don't need her going to the doctor's office with me, but she insists.

Why do you hate it? What does your nanny do that is so hateful?

We do not live in DC, actually we live in a rural area where nannies are uncommon. I once had a doctor roll her eyes over me bringing a nanny with me, so I don't do it anymore. Around here, it's seen no differently than having a 2+ ct diamond ring, just kind of tacky, in a flaunting your money kind of way. Also, since I don't wear dress clothes to work, it makes me appear as if I'm a SAHM who can't handle my own child without a nanny.

You chose the perception over the reality, so your child's primary caregiver is left at home? Wow.

I am my child's primary caregiver. I am sorry you seem to have a problem with our situation.

You spend more waking hours with your child than your nanny does? If so, good for you. If not, nope, your nanny is the primary caregiver, no matter how temporary that situation is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really hate when my nanny tries to accompany us into the exam room. Frankly, I don't need her going to the doctor's office with me, but she insists.

Why do you hate it? What does your nanny do that is so hateful?

We do not live in DC, actually we live in a rural area where nannies are uncommon. I once had a doctor roll her eyes over me bringing a nanny with me, so I don't do it anymore. Around here, it's seen no differently than having a 2+ ct diamond ring, just kind of tacky, in a flaunting your money kind of way. Also, since I don't wear dress clothes to work, it makes me appear as if I'm a SAHM who can't handle my own child without a nanny.

You chose the perception over the reality, so your child's primary caregiver is left at home? Wow.

I am my child's primary caregiver. I am sorry you seem to have a problem with our situation.

You spend more waking hours with your child than your nanny does? If so, good for you. If not, nope, your nanny is the primary caregiver, no matter how temporary that situation is.

Primary caregiver is someone who takes responsibility of child under their care e.g, teacher, nanny, daycare worker etc. unrelated to how many waking hours spend with child. It's not a contest between parent and caregiver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The next time your charge has a doctor's appointment tell MB, "Since, as you said, you don't need me there, it would a better use of my time if I stayed here and got things done that are impossible/difficult to do when Larla is around".

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really hate when my nanny tries to accompany us into the exam room. Frankly, I don't need her going to the doctor's office with me, but she insists.

Why do you hate it? What does your nanny do that is so hateful?

We do not live in DC, actually we live in a rural area where nannies are uncommon. I once had a doctor roll her eyes over me bringing a nanny with me, so I don't do it anymore. Around here, it's seen no differently than having a 2+ ct diamond ring, just kind of tacky, in a flaunting your money kind of way. Also, since I don't wear dress clothes to work, it makes me appear as if I'm a SAHM who can't handle my own child without a nanny.

You chose the perception over the reality, so your child's primary caregiver is left at home? Wow.

I am my child's primary caregiver. I am sorry you seem to have a problem with our situation.

You spend more waking hours with your child than your nanny does? If so, good for you. If not, nope, your nanny is the primary caregiver, no matter how temporary that situation is.

Primary caregiver is someone who takes responsibility of child under their care e.g, teacher, nanny, daycare worker etc. unrelated to how many waking hours spend with child. It's not a contest between parent and caregiver.

Sort of. A caregiver is someone who takes responsibility for a child in their care unrelated to how many working hours spent with the child. The PRIMARY caregiver is the person ultimately responsible for the child, and this is always the parent. A nanny is a very important caregiver, but it is the parent who is ultimately responsible for the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, there is some family history and disease stuff that my nanny does not need to know about. . .we are a very open family, but there are just some things we keep to our family. I sometimes like to discuss them with the ped to make sure we are keeping an eye on it etc.

Your kid craps and vomits on your nanny, but she can't be privy to his medical information?

I'm not the poster you're quoting but I can completely understand that point of view. I had my kids through donor eggs - so we have conversations w/ doctor's about genetic history and things like that that are a little different from the norm. If I were not open about that information I might not want the nanny in the room. But I might need help wrangling multiple kids during a long doctor's appointment. So that's one example. Another might be an illness or genetic condition that the parent struggles with and wants to be on guard for with the child, but which might be quite personal and private.

I don't think offense should be taken (assuming all sides are courteous and respectful of course). Medical stuff can be very personal to most folks.

[Anonymous]

why did she ask you to come to the doctors office in the first place? THIS would annoy me.

One nanny family had me come with them to their sons 15 month appointment. I didn't talk much . It was helpful to go to the appointment because I had to bring him back solo for his second flu shot.