Firing our nanny for cause - any advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What could she possibly be doing at the park to get fired for cause?? So curious!!

She was texting the entire time!

It probably is something ridiculous like this.

Firing for texting is not ridiculous. I will fire our nanny if I ever catch her texting again when she should be watching my children and our nanny knows it.

If I was ever fired for something stupid like that. I would make my employers regret it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What could she possibly be doing at the park to get fired for cause?? So curious!!

She was texting the entire time!

It probably is something ridiculous like this.

Firing for texting is not ridiculous. I will fire our nanny if I ever catch her texting again when she should be watching my children and our nanny knows it.

PP, Are you for real...??! To fire a nanny over sending a text message is just insane. I say go ahead and do it...You will be doing your nanny a HUGE favor since you sound like a Type A and then some boss.

OP: I would simply make sure she is compensated for the days worked and then show her her walking papers.

It wouldn't make any sense to tell her she is going to be canned, then allow her two weeks notice to find another position. She most likely will do something either to your home or your child and you don't want to be worrying about any vengeful acts on her part.

This is cause for immediate dismissal. Do not pay her a dime for any days not worked, even if you had scheduled them prior. She's toast and she is done.

[Anonymous]

Rsrs rsrsrs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What could she possibly be doing at the park to get fired for cause?? So curious!!

She was texting the entire time!

It probably is something ridiculous like this.

Firing for texting is not ridiculous. I will fire our nanny if I ever catch her texting again when she should be watching my children and our nanny knows it.

PP, Are you for real...??! To fire a nanny over sending a text message is just insane. I say go ahead and do it...You will be doing your nanny a HUGE favor since you sound like a Type A and then some boss.

OP: I would simply make sure she is compensated for the days worked and then show her her walking papers.

It wouldn't make any sense to tell her she is going to be canned, then allow her two weeks notice to find another position. She most likely will do something either to your home or your child and you don't want to be worrying about any vengeful acts on her part.

This is cause for immediate dismissal. Do not pay her a dime for any days not worked, even if you had scheduled them prior. She's toast and she is done.

PP here and our nanny texting CONSTANTLY when she is out with DD is a problem. So yes, she has been warned several times and if I catch her again, she will be fired. She is not texting either DH or I and she has plenty of time to take care of her personal business on Fridays (she works M-TH) and during the two hours when DD is asleep.

[Anonymous]

As someone who have to pay higher unemployment insurance rates because the nanny got Unemployment benefits after being fired for cause: DOCUMENT everything in WRITING. Get the other preschool teachers also write down what they saw. Make the nanny sign that she understands that she is fired for cause. also document why a system of "you get a warning for this and 90 days to improve" is not enough... Unemployment commission assumes you fired without cause unless you prove otherwise.

[Anonymous]

I would pay her out for the week and tell her that you had heard alarming reports from others in the community, you went & saw for yourself, and you find her behavior unacceptable and hope that she considers another profession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What could she possibly be doing at the park to get fired for cause?? So curious!!

She was texting the entire time!

It probably is something ridiculous like this.

Firing for texting is not ridiculous. I will fire our nanny if I ever catch her texting again when she should be watching my children and our nanny knows it.

If I was ever fired for something stupid like that. I would make my employers regret it.

You are a fool. Grow up and realize that your employers - in ANY job or profession - can ask you to do or not do anything that is not illegal. If you do not like it then simply do not take or keep the job.

Stop being such a child, PP. It is so unbecoming and truly ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What could she possibly be doing at the park to get fired for cause?? So curious!!

She was texting the entire time!

It probably is something ridiculous like this.

Firing for texting is not ridiculous. I will fire our nanny if I ever catch her texting again when she should be watching my children and our nanny knows it.

PP, Are you for real...??! To fire a nanny over sending a text message is just insane. I say go ahead and do it...You will be doing your nanny a HUGE favor since you sound like a Type A and then some boss.

OP: I would simply make sure she is compensated for the days worked and then show her her walking papers.

It wouldn't make any sense to tell her she is going to be canned, then allow her two weeks notice to find another position. She most likely will do something either to your home or your child and you don't want to be worrying about any vengeful acts on her part.

This is cause for immediate dismissal. Do not pay her a dime for any days not worked, even if you had scheduled them prior. She's toast and she is done.

PP here and our nanny texting CONSTANTLY when she is out with DD is a problem. So yes, she has been warned several times and if I catch her again, she will be fired. She is not texting either DH or I and she has plenty of time to take care of her personal business on Fridays (she works M-TH) and during the two hours when DD is asleep.

I agree with the above PP 100%. Nannies texting while working is getting ridiculous. I see nanny after nanny texting in the park, library and play ground and not watching their charges. Something tragic is going to happen to one of the children and bring this issue to light (like texting while driving).

[Anonymous]

Please come back, OP, after she is fired and tell us what she did and how you handled the firing. Thanks and good luck.

[Anonymous]

Here's my advice OP.

- Plan everything out in advance.
- If possible, have someone else there with you and have your children elsewhere. (Have a babysitter or family friend take them to the park, put on a movie in a closed room on a different floor, etc...) Have another adult (ideally your husband) with you for the conversation.
- Plan what you're going to say. Keep it short, factual, and direct. Have a letter that says the same things that you hand her.
- Get your keys and any other personal property back.
- Do not let her be unsupervised in your house after telling her. This is a "please pack your things right now, give us your key and leave" situation.
- Your letter should say "You are being terminated for cause. On more than one occasion you jeopardized the safety of our children... violated the terms of our contract by.... " Etc... Whatever the exact cause is - state it briefly but directly.
- Include a sentence that says you will be paid through your full work day today. If you have contractual language regarding termination and severance cite that: "As per our contract you will not be paid for severance and termination is effective immediately due to your actions."
- Put in a sentence along the lines of "You are to have no further contact with us, our children, the neighbors, family members or friends, or anyone connected with this family. If you pursue contact we will take legal action." (If you feel that is necessary, you may not feel the need to be so explicit but if you're uneasy about safety it's a good idea.)
- Do not engage in discussion or debate during the conversation. Do not get emotional. Be dispassionate, direct, and brief. "Your employment is terminated, we need your keys and you have 10 minutes to gather your things."
- Do not respond to pleas, or questions about what you will do for childcare, or what she will do for income, etc... Have your spiel ready and don't deviate. Don't get sidetracked by any reaction she may or may not have - just keep your eye on the goal of terminating the relationship and getting her out of the house as quickly and calmly as possible.
- Plan to have a locksmith come and change the locks an hour after she has left. Even if you get the key(s) back the peace of mind is worth the cost.

Good luck OP. If you need to strengthen your backbone at all (it is VERY hard to fire someone, even when you know it's necessary) just remind yourself that there is nothing more sacrosanct than the safety of your kids. You are doing your job as a parent. Nothing else need be your concern.

I hope it's quick and as calm as possible.

Plan some upbeat family activity afterwards - maybe everyone gets a special treat that night!

Of course, have a good explanation planned for the kids that is straightforward, age appropriate, and as simple as possible.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you everyone. I will definitely report back on Friday. This incident has really shaken my trust and made me question my own judgement since I hired this woman. She has only worked for us a few months but genuinely seemed to care about our children. I wish this were just a question of her texting on the playground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's my advice OP.

- Plan everything out in advance.
- If possible, have someone else there with you and have your children elsewhere. (Have a babysitter or family friend take them to the park, put on a movie in a closed room on a different floor, etc...) Have another adult (ideally your husband) with you for the conversation.
- Plan what you're going to say. Keep it short, factual, and direct. Have a letter that says the same things that you hand her.
- Get your keys and any other personal property back.
- Do not let her be unsupervised in your house after telling her. This is a "please pack your things right now, give us your key and leave" situation.
- Your letter should say "You are being terminated for cause. On more than one occasion you jeopardized the safety of our children... violated the terms of our contract by.... " Etc... Whatever the exact cause is - state it briefly but directly.
- Include a sentence that says you will be paid through your full work day today. If you have contractual language regarding termination and severance cite that: "As per our contract you will not be paid for severance and termination is effective immediately due to your actions."
- Put in a sentence along the lines of "You are to have no further contact with us, our children, the neighbors, family members or friends, or anyone connected with this family. If you pursue contact we will take legal action." (If you feel that is necessary, you may not feel the need to be so explicit but if you're uneasy about safety it's a good idea.)
- Do not engage in discussion or debate during the conversation. Do not get emotional. Be dispassionate, direct, and brief. "Your employment is terminated, we need your keys and you have 10 minutes to gather your things."
- Do not respond to pleas, or questions about what you will do for childcare, or what she will do for income, etc... Have your spiel ready and don't deviate. Don't get sidetracked by any reaction she may or may not have - just keep your eye on the goal of terminating the relationship and getting her out of the house as quickly and calmly as possible.
- Plan to have a locksmith come and change the locks an hour after she has left. Even if you get the key(s) back the peace of mind is worth the cost.

Good luck OP. If you need to strengthen your backbone at all (it is VERY hard to fire someone, even when you know it's necessary) just remind yourself that there is nothing more sacrosanct than the safety of your kids. You are doing your job as a parent. Nothing else need be your concern.

I hope it's quick and as calm as possible.

Plan some upbeat family activity afterwards - maybe everyone gets a special treat that night!

Of course, have a good explanation planned for the kids that is straightforward, age appropriate, and as simple as possible.

How can you stop someone from having contact with a neighbor ? Or someone who works at the children's school? What if it's her mother or a friend ? What type of legal action could you take if the next door neighbor is her cousin ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you everyone. I will definitely report back on Friday. This incident has really shaken my trust and made me question my own judgement since I hired this woman. She has only worked for us a few months but genuinely seemed to care about our children. I wish this were just a question of her texting on the playground.

I'm glad it's not just texting op. I'm so intrigued I mean what could it be ????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you everyone. I will definitely report back on Friday. This incident has really shaken my trust and made me question my own judgement since I hired this woman. She has only worked for us a few months but genuinely seemed to care about our children. I wish this were just a question of her texting on the playground.

Why are you waiting until FRIDAY!? I can't imagine leaving my kids with someone once I knew they were putting the kids in some sort of danger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you everyone. I will definitely report back on Friday. This incident has really shaken my trust and made me question my own judgement since I hired this woman. She has only worked for us a few months but genuinely seemed to care about our children. I wish this were just a question of her texting on the playground.

Why are you waiting until FRIDAY!? I can't imagine leaving my kids with someone once I knew they were putting the kids in some sort of danger.

Right? OP must need childcare urgently. Or what the nanny did isn't as big of a deal as she's making it out to be. If it was, she'd no longer be watching the kids.