Trust issues with first time parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always fun when someone who gave birth a few months ago thinks they know better than someone with 15 years of experience.

And it's funny when someone thinks that a woman should just hand over her child to a stranger without any qualms.

She made the choice to hand over her baby and she hired someone with 15 yrs experience and five excellent references and still has trust problems. She should stay home with her child if she has such trust issues. I think It is more guilt than trust but the mother"s guilt problems should not be foisted on to the nanny.

This situation will only get worse. Find a new job and good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's always fun when someone who gave birth a few months ago thinks they know better than someone with 15 years of experience.

Well that person could have been doing it incorrectly for 15 years. A provider of 20 years thought it was completely acceptable for her to wear so much perfume that the baby was covered in it by the end of the day. She also thought it was okay to change the diaper every 4 hours on a kid with a bad rash and then lie about it. She was plenty experienced and resented any requests from parents because she considered herself the expert and the parents were the novice. OP doesn't sound anything like that, but your flippant comment really grates on me. New parents attend classes taught by pediatric nurses, they get up to date guidance from their pediatrician, and read up on product safety. A nanny doesn't have access to a lot of these trainings and she has to rely on her employers to let her know what's now considered bad practice - like diaper powder, infant walkers, microwaving bottles, etc.

Childcare experience is helpful with things like how to soothe & hold the baby, games to play, how to keep them engaged, and stimulate them without overstimulating. That's timeless. That's what grandma teaches you. It's what a nanny should be an expert in. But things like safe sleep, how to prepare breastmilk & formula appropriately (hint: it's not the same), how to strap in the current models of car seats - those practices get updated over the years and a nanny who resists that change is not doing her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always fun when someone who gave birth a few months ago thinks they know better than someone with 15 years of experience.

Well that person could have been doing it incorrectly for 15 years. A provider of 20 years thought it was completely acceptable for her to wear so much perfume that the baby was covered in it by the end of the day. She also thought it was okay to change the diaper every 4 hours on a kid with a bad rash and then lie about it. She was plenty experienced and resented any requests from parents because she considered herself the expert and the parents were the novice. OP doesn't sound anything like that, but your flippant comment really grates on me. New parents attend classes taught by pediatric nurses, they get up to date guidance from their pediatrician, and read up on product safety. A nanny doesn't have access to a lot of these trainings and she has to rely on her employers to let her know what's now considered bad practice - like diaper powder, infant walkers, microwaving bottles, etc.

Childcare experience is helpful with things like how to soothe & hold the baby, games to play, how to keep them engaged, and stimulate them without overstimulating. That's timeless. That's what grandma teaches you. It's what a nanny should be an expert in. But things like safe sleep, how to prepare breastmilk & formula appropriately (hint: it's not the same), how to strap in the current models of car seats - those practices get updated over the years and a nanny who resists that change is not doing her job.

Where would you get the idea that I resist change? I know more than you do AND I can safely install a new model car seat.
I had to tell an MB that she couldn't microwave breastmilk. Not all nannies know everything and not all mothers know everything.
If you hire an imbecile, you'll get less than stellar care.
If you hire a professional, you'll get the best care.
It's ridiculous to claim that a good, experienced nanny doesn't know how to do basic things like prepare a bottle or install a car seat.
I haven't seen an infant walker in over 20 years. Who the hell uses powder anymore?
If you need a nurse or pediatrician to tell you these thing-you are an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always fun when someone who gave birth a few months ago thinks they know better than someone with 15 years of experience.

Well that person could have been doing it incorrectly for 15 years. A provider of 20 years thought it was completely acceptable for her to wear so much perfume that the baby was covered in it by the end of the day. She also thought it was okay to change the diaper every 4 hours on a kid with a bad rash and then lie about it. She was plenty experienced and resented any requests from parents because she considered herself the expert and the parents were the novice. OP doesn't sound anything like that, but your flippant comment really grates on me. New parents attend classes taught by pediatric nurses, they get up to date guidance from their pediatrician, and read up on product safety. A nanny doesn't have access to a lot of these trainings and she has to rely on her employers to let her know what's now considered bad practice - like diaper powder, infant walkers, microwaving bottles, etc.

Childcare experience is helpful with things like how to soothe & hold the baby, games to play, how to keep them engaged, and stimulate them without overstimulating. That's timeless. That's what grandma teaches you. It's what a nanny should be an expert in. But things like safe sleep, how to prepare breastmilk & formula appropriately (hint: it's not the same), how to strap in the current models of car seats - those practices get updated over the years and a nanny who resists that change is not doing her job.

Where would you get the idea that I resist change? I know more than you do AND I can safely install a new model car seat.
I had to tell an MB that she couldn't microwave breastmilk. Not all nannies know everything and not all mothers know everything.
If you hire an imbecile, you'll get less than stellar care.
If you hire a professional, you'll get the best care.
It's ridiculous to claim that a good, experienced nanny doesn't know how to do basic things like prepare a bottle or install a car seat.
I haven't seen an infant walker in over 20 years. Who the hell uses powder anymore?
If you need a nurse or pediatrician to tell you these thing-you are an idiot.

Being hostile towards the parents/employer really isn't going to contribute to a collaborative relationship - you all should be on the same team when it comes to caring for the child. It's great that you're up to date on best practices and that you're sharing what you know with your boss. Your boss's preferences matter do still matter though, so aside from safety issues, I don't see how you can be a nanny without having some openness to the parents' wishes. In any job, sometimes you do things the way you do them simply because that's what your boss wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always fun when someone who gave birth a few months ago thinks they know better than someone with 15 years of experience.

Well that person could have been doing it incorrectly for 15 years. A provider of 20 years thought it was completely acceptable for her to wear so much perfume that the baby was covered in it by the end of the day. She also thought it was okay to change the diaper every 4 hours on a kid with a bad rash and then lie about it. She was plenty experienced and resented any requests from parents because she considered herself the expert and the parents were the novice. OP doesn't sound anything like that, but your flippant comment really grates on me. New parents attend classes taught by pediatric nurses, they get up to date guidance from their pediatrician, and read up on product safety. A nanny doesn't have access to a lot of these trainings and she has to rely on her employers to let her know what's now considered bad practice - like diaper powder, infant walkers, microwaving bottles, etc.

Childcare experience is helpful with things like how to soothe & hold the baby, games to play, how to keep them engaged, and stimulate them without overstimulating. That's timeless. That's what grandma teaches you. It's what a nanny should be an expert in. But things like safe sleep, how to prepare breastmilk & formula appropriately (hint: it's not the same), how to strap in the current models of car seats - those practices get updated over the years and a nanny who resists that change is not doing her job.

Where would you get the idea that I resist change? I know more than you do AND I can safely install a new model car seat.
I had to tell an MB that she couldn't microwave breastmilk. Not all nannies know everything and not all mothers know everything.
If you hire an imbecile, you'll get less than stellar care.
If you hire a professional, you'll get the best care.
It's ridiculous to claim that a good, experienced nanny doesn't know how to do basic things like prepare a bottle or install a car seat.
I haven't seen an infant walker in over 20 years. Who the hell uses powder anymore?
If you need a nurse or pediatrician to tell you these thing-you are an idiot.

Being hostile towards the parents/employer really isn't going to contribute to a collaborative relationship - you all should be on the same team when it comes to caring for the child. It's great that you're up to date on best practices and that you're sharing what you know with your boss. Your boss's preferences matter do still matter though, so aside from safety issues, I don't see how you can be a nanny without having some openness to the parents' wishes. In any job, sometimes you do things the way you do them simply because that's what your boss wants.

Where are you getting that I'm not open to collaboration? I most certainly am, I'm just not going to work for someone who doesn't trust that I know what I'm doing.

[Anonymous]

If I need a lawyer, I have to trust him/her and same with doctor. I do not tell them how to represent me or treat my medical problem. If I hire an experienced nanny with excellent references, I will listen to her particularly if I know nothing.


If you cannot do this, then you stay at home and take care of your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always fun when someone who gave birth a few months ago thinks they know better than someone with 15 years of experience.

Well that person could have been doing it incorrectly for 15 years. A provider of 20 years thought it was completely acceptable for her to wear so much perfume that the baby was covered in it by the end of the day. She also thought it was okay to change the diaper every 4 hours on a kid with a bad rash and then lie about it. She was plenty experienced and resented any requests from parents because she considered herself the expert and the parents were the novice. OP doesn't sound anything like that, but your flippant comment really grates on me. New parents attend classes taught by pediatric nurses, they get up to date guidance from their pediatrician, and read up on product safety. A nanny doesn't have access to a lot of these trainings and she has to rely on her employers to let her know what's now considered bad practice - like diaper powder, infant walkers, microwaving bottles, etc.

Childcare experience is helpful with things like how to soothe & hold the baby, games to play, how to keep them engaged, and stimulate them without overstimulating. That's timeless. That's what grandma teaches you. It's what a nanny should be an expert in. But things like safe sleep, how to prepare breastmilk & formula appropriately (hint: it's not the same), how to strap in the current models of car seats - those practices get updated over the years and a nanny who resists that change is not doing her job.

Where would you get the idea that I resist change? I know more than you do AND I can safely install a new model car seat.
I had to tell an MB that she couldn't microwave breastmilk. Not all nannies know everything and not all mothers know everything.
If you hire an imbecile, you'll get less than stellar care.
If you hire a professional, you'll get the best care.
It's ridiculous to claim that a good, experienced nanny doesn't know how to do basic things like prepare a bottle or install a car seat.
I haven't seen an infant walker in over 20 years. Who the hell uses powder anymore?
If you need a nurse or pediatrician to tell you these thing-you are an idiot.

Being hostile towards the parents/employer really isn't going to contribute to a collaborative relationship - you all should be on the same team when it comes to caring for the child. It's great that you're up to date on best practices and that you're sharing what you know with your boss. Your boss's preferences matter do still matter though, so aside from safety issues, I don't see how you can be a nanny without having some openness to the parents' wishes. In any job, sometimes you do things the way you do them simply because that's what your boss wants.

Where are you getting that I'm not open to collaboration? I most certainly am, I'm just not going to work for someone who doesn't trust that I know what I'm doing.

Because you sound really dismissive and annoyed that parents feel that they know what's best for their child. Being dismissive and annoyed aren't really conducive to collaboration.

[Anonymous]

I hear ya OP.

I hate working for families who are like that...Over-protective to the extreme. I cannot believe they want a pic every 30 min. That is just insane!!

If I were you, I would look for another infant position.

Parents like this have anxiety issues and it's not something they can overcome after a discussion with someone.

Unless they seek therapy and medication, it will be very difficult for them to change their ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya OP.

I hate working for families who are like that...Over-protective to the extreme. I cannot believe they want a pic every 30 min. That is just insane!!

If I were you, I would look for another infant position.

Parents like this have anxiety issues and it's not something they can overcome after a discussion with someone.

Unless they seek therapy and medication, it will be very difficult for them to change their ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's always fun when someone who gave birth a few months ago thinks they know better than someone with 15 years of experience.

This attitude is one of the reasons why I fired my first nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always fun when someone who gave birth a few months ago thinks they know better than someone with 15 years of experience.

Well that person could have been doing it incorrectly for 15 years. A provider of 20 years thought it was completely acceptable for her to wear so much perfume that the baby was covered in it by the end of the day. She also thought it was okay to change the diaper every 4 hours on a kid with a bad rash and then lie about it. She was plenty experienced and resented any requests from parents because she considered herself the expert and the parents were the novice. OP doesn't sound anything like that, but your flippant comment really grates on me. New parents attend classes taught by pediatric nurses, they get up to date guidance from their pediatrician, and read up on product safety. A nanny doesn't have access to a lot of these trainings and she has to rely on her employers to let her know what's now considered bad practice - like diaper powder, infant walkers, microwaving bottles, etc.

Childcare experience is helpful with things like how to soothe & hold the baby, games to play, how to keep them engaged, and stimulate them without overstimulating. That's timeless. That's what grandma teaches you. It's what a nanny should be an expert in. But things like safe sleep, how to prepare breastmilk & formula appropriately (hint: it's not the same), how to strap in the current models of car seats - those practices get updated over the years and a nanny who resists that change is not doing her job.

Where would you get the idea that I resist change? I know more than you do AND I can safely install a new model car seat.
I had to tell an MB that she couldn't microwave breastmilk. Not all nannies know everything and not all mothers know everything.
If you hire an imbecile, you'll get less than stellar care.
If you hire a professional, you'll get the best care.
It's ridiculous to claim that a good, experienced nanny doesn't know how to do basic things like prepare a bottle or install a car seat.
I haven't seen an infant walker in over 20 years. Who the hell uses powder anymore?
If you need a nurse or pediatrician to tell you these thing-you are an idiot.

Being hostile towards the parents/employer really isn't going to contribute to a collaborative relationship - you all should be on the same team when it comes to caring for the child. It's great that you're up to date on best practices and that you're sharing what you know with your boss. Your boss's preferences matter do still matter though, so aside from safety issues, I don't see how you can be a nanny without having some openness to the parents' wishes. In any job, sometimes you do things the way you do them simply because that's what your boss wants.

Where are you getting that I'm not open to collaboration? I most certainly am, I'm just not going to work for someone who doesn't trust that I know what I'm doing.

New to this thread. You just come off very hostile and unbalanced. If you were watching my children I'd be concerned for your ability to control your temper and emotions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I need a lawyer, I have to trust him/her and same with doctor. I do not tell them how to represent me or treat my medical problem. If I hire an experienced nanny with excellent references, I will listen to her particularly if I know nothing.


If you cannot do this, then you stay at home and take care of your child.

Haha! You are not a lawyer obviously. Why are you under the impression that clients don't make demands or attempt to steer things in a direction they think is better? At many points a lawyer ASKS his clients what they want to do.imagine that?

You'd be an unemployed lawyer.