Daycare, wait lists, and notices

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know what you want to hear, OP. Ethically, you pay your nanny severance when you let her go for no fault of her own. You would have to be stunningly immoral to think that you can simply say good-bye to the woman who has cared for your child without a thought to her well-being or how she will make her rent.

You can do the right thing or you can screw her over.

Two weeks pay is most common.

Her husband's BAH pays her rent, actually. Or should.

Here's the problem. I can't afford two weeks pay PLUS daycare. Simply don't have the money. So now what? I can't keep her forever!

Don't stress over it. Just let her go.

You aren't a Christian, are you? You aren't even a good person to suggest such a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know what you want to hear, OP. Ethically, you pay your nanny severance when you let her go for no fault of her own. You would have to be stunningly immoral to think that you can simply say good-bye to the woman who has cared for your child without a thought to her well-being or how she will make her rent.

You can do the right thing or you can screw her over.

Two weeks pay is most common.

Her husband's BAH pays her rent, actually. Or should.

Here's the problem. I can't afford two weeks pay PLUS daycare. Simply don't have the money. So now what? I can't keep her forever!

Don't stress over it. Just let her go.

TROLL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know what you want to hear, OP. Ethically, you pay your nanny severance when you let her go for no fault of her own. You would have to be stunningly immoral to think that you can simply say good-bye to the woman who has cared for your child without a thought to her well-being or how she will make her rent.

You can do the right thing or you can screw her over.

Two weeks pay is most common.

Her husband's BAH pays her rent, actually. Or should.

Here's the problem. I can't afford two weeks pay PLUS daycare. Simply don't have the money. So now what? I can't keep her forever!

Like PP, I really don't know what you are asking. If you cannot afford severance than you have to give her notice (meaning in X amount of time her job will be ending). If you don't know when her job will be ending (in that you don't know when your child will get into daycare) then you have to be honest about that and tell her. She may stay and she may leave before you are ready - that is the risk. But it truly is the only right thing to do.

Then what do I do for childcare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know what you want to hear, OP. Ethically, you pay your nanny severance when you let her go for no fault of her own. You would have to be stunningly immoral to think that you can simply say good-bye to the woman who has cared for your child without a thought to her well-being or how she will make her rent.

You can do the right thing or you can screw her over.

Two weeks pay is most common.

Her husband's BAH pays her rent, actually. Or should.

Here's the problem. I can't afford two weeks pay PLUS daycare. Simply don't have the money. So now what? I can't keep her forever!

Like PP, I really don't know what you are asking. If you cannot afford severance than you have to give her notice (meaning in X amount of time her job will be ending). If you don't know when her job will be ending (in that you don't know when your child will get into daycare) then you have to be honest about that and tell her. She may stay and she may leave before you are ready - that is the risk. But it truly is the only right thing to do.

Then what do I do for childcare?

How should I know?!

I'm sorry, OP, but I am not going to tell you to screw your nanny over and fire her the day your son gets into daycare with no severance. No moral person is going to tell you that is okay!!!

[Anonymous]

But why is ok for her to screw me over by wanting money I don't have? Serious question. Why do her needs come before my family's? How do normal middle class people who can't afford two payments for childcare handle this? I guess that's what I'm really asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But why is ok for her to screw me over by wanting money I don't have? Serious question. Why do her needs come before my family's? How do normal middle class people who can't afford two payments for childcare handle this? I guess that's what I'm really asking.

She is not screwing you over! You are letting her go because you want your son in daycare -- the nanny did nothing wrong. You can do the right thing, the moral thing, OP, or the wrong thing. You are the one making it into some sort of a weird "my family verses hers". Please look up what "severance" means and calm down!!!

If you cannot afford severance then give her ample notice that her job will be ending and make other arrangements for childcare if she decided to leave early. And she may not decide to leave early!

I have no clue what you are getting so ridiculously dramatic about!!

[Anonymous]

Those people don't have nannies. They use less expensive daycare options where notice or severance is not an issue.

I'm a nanny employer, btw, not a nanny. But I agree that unless you're firing for cause, you need to give notice or severance. It.is the professional, responsible, and kind thing to do. It's not your nanny's fault that you can't afford it. She's not "screwing you over" because you retained a service you can't really afford. Do you also feel that car dealerships are screwing you over because you can't afford a Ferrari?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But why is ok for her to screw me over by wanting money I don't have? Serious question. Why do her needs come before my family's? How do normal middle class people who can't afford two payments for childcare handle this? I guess that's what I'm really asking.

You cannot be for real. I never say this but I think this is another troll post. No one in real life is this dense.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I don't know why you are getting so upset either. You are the one who is changing the agreement with your employee - not the other way around.

You either offer her severance or you give her fair notice -- those really are the only two ethical options we, as employers, have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why is ok for her to screw me over by wanting money I don't have? Serious question. Why do her needs come before my family's? How do normal middle class people who can't afford two payments for childcare handle this? I guess that's what I'm really asking.

You cannot be for real. I never say this but I think this is another troll post. No one in real life is this dense.

It's not a troll post. We'd have to max out credit cards in order to pay both for 2-4 weeks, and even then I'm not sure we could afford it. So what are my options? I've always worked in at-will states, so I know my job could be gone in an instant, with no severance. I really thought most people felt that way, especially non-exempt employees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why is ok for her to screw me over by wanting money I don't have? Serious question. Why do her needs come before my family's? How do normal middle class people who can't afford two payments for childcare handle this? I guess that's what I'm really asking.

You cannot be for real. I never say this but I think this is another troll post. No one in real life is this dense.

It's not a troll post. We'd have to max out credit cards in order to pay both for 2-4 weeks, and even then I'm not sure we could afford it. So what are my options? I've always worked in at-will states, so I know my job could be gone in an instant, with no severance. I really thought most people felt that way, especially non-exempt employees.

Yes, that is how it is. Nannies understand this. No nanny thinks they have the job security of a real professional job. Families move, kids get sick, daycare opens up. They know. Just do what you have to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why is ok for her to screw me over by wanting money I don't have? Serious question. Why do her needs come before my family's? How do normal middle class people who can't afford two payments for childcare handle this? I guess that's what I'm really asking.

You cannot be for real. I never say this but I think this is another troll post. No one in real life is this dense.

It's not a troll post. We'd have to max out credit cards in order to pay both for 2-4 weeks, and even then I'm not sure we could afford it. So what are my options? I've always worked in at-will states, so I know my job could be gone in an instant, with no severance. I really thought most people felt that way, especially non-exempt employees.

Yes, that is how it is. Nannies understand this. No nanny thinks they have the job security of a real professional job. Families move, kids get sick, daycare opens up. They know. Just do what you have to do.

THE "NANNY NOT A REAL JOB" TROLL IS BACK!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why is ok for her to screw me over by wanting money I don't have? Serious question. Why do her needs come before my family's? How do normal middle class people who can't afford two payments for childcare handle this? I guess that's what I'm really asking.

You cannot be for real. I never say this but I think this is another troll post. No one in real life is this dense.

It's not a troll post. We'd have to max out credit cards in order to pay both for 2-4 weeks, and even then I'm not sure we could afford it. So what are my options? I've always worked in at-will states, so I know my job could be gone in an instant, with no severance. I really thought most people felt that way, especially non-exempt employees.

Yes, that is how it is. Nannies understand this. No nanny thinks they have the job security of a real professional job. Families move, kids get sick, daycare opens up. They know. Just do what you have to do.

You are wrong. Our nanny, and every nanny we know, has job security and knows that she is working in a real job in a difficult and demanding profession! Why in the world would any mother put her child in the hands of someone who didn't think that childcare was "real"?

Horrible for you to suggest that a child would get do sick as to stop needing a nanny to care for him - like what? So sick he dies?!

And when families move or children go to school, we give our nannies ample notice and severance.

Please stop trying to make OP and others think that your depraved ways and lack of ethics are the norm. They simply are not. I doubt that you have ever hired nanny or have ever been a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why is ok for her to screw me over by wanting money I don't have? Serious question. Why do her needs come before my family's? How do normal middle class people who can't afford two payments for childcare handle this? I guess that's what I'm really asking.

You cannot be for real. I never say this but I think this is another troll post. No one in real life is this dense.

It's not a troll post. We'd have to max out credit cards in order to pay both for 2-4 weeks, and even then I'm not sure we could afford it. So what are my options? I've always worked in at-will states, so I know my job could be gone in an instant, with no severance. I really thought most people felt that way, especially non-exempt employees.

You are talking about legalities when others are talking about morals and ethics. Your options have been clearly spelled out for you by about ten other posters so far today. If you cannot afford severance THEN GIVE YOUR NANNY WARNING AND TELL HER HER JOB IS GOING TO END SEVERAL WEEKS BEFORE IT HAPPENS.

I don't know how anyone can explain it to you more clearly than it has been spelled out to you.

And no, I don't know anyone who feels quite as callously about the woman who is caring for her child as you do. Do you seriously think it is okay to wait until your son gets into daycare and then tell her the day before that you're done with her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why is ok for her to screw me over by wanting money I don't have? Serious question. Why do her needs come before my family's? How do normal middle class people who can't afford two payments for childcare handle this? I guess that's what I'm really asking.

You cannot be for real. I never say this but I think this is another troll post. No one in real life is this dense.

It's not a troll post. We'd have to max out credit cards in order to pay both for 2-4 weeks, and even then I'm not sure we could afford it. So what are my options? I've always worked in at-will states, so I know my job could be gone in an instant, with no severance. I really thought most people felt that way, especially non-exempt employees.

No, you did not think that most people felt that way or you wouldn't have bothered to post the question.

Living in an "at-will" states has NOTHING to do with acting responsibly toward a woman who has been working in your home and taking care of your child for the last X amount of months or years. And you know it.