Meeting up with friends

[Anonymous]

I have an AP and I encourage her to meet friends be it nannies or other APS with charges the same age. I have 2 boys ages 9&5 and my current AP hangs all the time with another AP who also has twin 9yr olds and a 5yr old.

So not only do I allow it, I encourage it.

[Anonymous]

I honestly cannot imagine why any mother would have a problem with it. Our nanny is very likable and "popular". Many nannies and mothers have gotten together with her and DC for play dates. I don't see why I would feel differently if one of these other nannies or mothers was her sister or old friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MBs would you care if your nanny met up with her sister/friend who is also a nanny on a regular basis?

The kids are the same age and have become VERY good friends and ask to play everyday. We usually do things like park, walks, playgroups, story time... Everything kid based.

What do you think

Why should anyone object, OP?

I think op was just asking a hypothetical question, just because.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be ok with it if you let me pay you half-rate while you are hanging out with your friend/relative. I have done this before with previous nannies who asked to run personal errands with my kid.

Sure! And I will pay half-attention to your child while doing it. Seems fair.

No surprise you have had "nannies" (plural).

I don't believe in having one nanny until college. I think it's MUCH more beneficial to DC to have multiple people care for him, with different backgrounds, experiences, and personalities. But based on the horrible (and often racist) things I read forum I'm not surprised you probably want your child to have the same white woman with a masters degree in education that you can secretly watch on your nanny cams all day care from him or her so they will grow up exactly the same as you, sheltered, bigoted, and rude.

[Anonymous]

My MB encourages playdates - we live 10m up the road from one of my nanny friends who's youngest charge is the same age as mine. Its great cause we can pop in for a wee play when the babies schedule allows it and the babies get a chance to see another baby/ play with new unseen toys

[Anonymous]

I am poster 02.05 - MB knows all about it

OP if your children are big enough to talk ask one of them to tell MB what you did today. You can ask questions like who did you play with and what was your favorite part and you will be able to hear the enthusiasm if the kids really like the other children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be ok with it if you let me pay you half-rate while you are hanging out with your friend/relative. I have done this before with previous nannies who asked to run personal errands with my kid.

Sure! And I will pay half-attention to your child while doing it. Seems fair.

No surprise you have had "nannies" (plural).

I don't believe in having one nanny until college. I think it's MUCH more beneficial to DC to have multiple people care for him, with different backgrounds, experiences, and personalities. But based on the horrible (and often racist) things I read forum I'm not surprised you probably want your child to have the same white woman with a masters degree in education that you can secretly watch on your nanny cams all day care from him or her so they will grow up exactly the same as you, sheltered, bigoted, and rude.

Please stop troll. You are now embarrassing yourself.

[Anonymous]

I'm pro outing and playdate, but regular meet-up with a friend or relative, while it may be fine, needs to be acknowledged as a conflict of interest. That being said, it may be fine. But, I'd only consider it if I had had time to build up a supply of trust and goodwill with the nanny. Personally, it would be come more of a problem if it seemed like the priority was meeting up with the friend, not caring for the child. So, for example, if the meetups were several times a week, every week. Or, if other requests were declined because they would interfere with the meetup, or if my child didn't seem particularly enthusiastic about the meetups, I might become more concerned.

[Anonymous]

Yikes, this thread really brought out the trolls who like to pretend they're MBs.

Real live MB here. I would not have a problem at all with the situation OP described. If the kids were radically different in ages and didn't get along, then I might have an issue to discuss with the nanny. But otherwise, I trust our nanny to set up playdates and activities she thinks our DD will enjoy.

[Anonymous]

I would mind most likely but it will depend on circumstances. Specifically: 1) why ask AFTER the kids have become such good friends? has this been going on forever behind my back? 2) have I met the nanny/relative and the kid? If no, then the answer is automatically no 3) where do you meet up? if it involves schlepping my kid across town then no. If your friend comes to our local playground or to a nearby library for story time - yes.

Honestly, I think this is not a very professional behavior to engage in, and I will think of the nanny accordingly. Hate it or not, just a straight up answer from a MB, not from sock-puppet nannies cheering each other on in this thread.

[Anonymous]

I cannot imagine any parent saying "NO" to this.

It is good for the nanny to have another adult to converse with daily plus it offers a built-in playmate for the child.

Win win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine any parent saying "NO" to this.

It is good for the nanny to have another adult to converse with daily plus it offers a built-in playmate for the child.

Win win.

Couple problems, I pay my nanny to teach my child, not run across town for "adult conversation."

And then beyond that there are 100s of playmates in this area, nanny doesn't need to seek out her personal friends while she's on the clock.

[Anonymous]

This situation did become a problem for my friend. Her nanny frequently took her son to play with her daughter (also a nanny) and her daughter's charge. The two nanny kids were the same age, but my friend discovered that her nanny was turning down other playdates with closer friends to hang out with her daughter, and even changing her son's schedule to accommodate the daughter.

It was pretty clear this was more about the two nannies sitting around together than the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pro outing and playdate, but regular meet-up with a friend or relative, while it may be fine, needs to be acknowledged as a conflict of interest. That being said, it may be fine. But, I'd only consider it if I had had time to build up a supply of trust and goodwill with the nanny. Personally, it would be come more of a problem if it seemed like the priority was meeting up with the friend, not caring for the child. So, for example, if the meetups were several times a week, every week. Or, if other requests were declined because they would interfere with the meetup, or if my child didn't seem particularly enthusiastic about the meetups, I might become more concerned.

That's a good point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This situation did become a problem for my friend. Her nanny frequently took her son to play with her daughter (also a nanny) and her daughter's charge. The two nanny kids were the same age, but my friend discovered that her nanny was turning down other playdates with closer friends to hang out with her daughter, and even changing her son's schedule to accommodate the daughter.

It was pretty clear this was more about the two nannies sitting around together than the kids.

What did your friend do?

Did she tell her not to meet up with her daughter as much? I don't want to micromanage my nanny's comings and goings, but I would like to assume that she had the best interest of my child in mind. If she clearly didn't, as in this situation, I think I would be inclined to fire her and find someone who was a little more interested in my child's well-being. However, this seems like kind of a petty thing to fire someone over.