Considering move from nanny to daycare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both have pretty crazy work schedules. We have a 1 yo who is cared for by a nanny. I am considering a job that has much more reasonsble hours. Problem is that it pays significantly less. If I took the job, we could not afford the nanny, so we would need to use daycare. I know that nannies are preferable to daycare. But I also want to see my son and not work all the time.

Has anyone else been in this sort of situation?

Have you spent a few hours at your favorite daycares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a nanny almost every employer I've had has told me they hired a nanny because it's so much cheaper then daycare. But if you only have 1 child I can understand it being a little higher.

OP here. We only have one child. With taxes, breedlove fees, and bonus, we pay about $1,000 a week

How old would your child be at the point he/she would start daycare? By 2, s/he might enjoy it, really, and by 3, s/he almost certainly will enjoy it. We have a bunch of kids and stuck with the nanny, but by the time they are 3.5, it has been clear to me that they would do just as well at preschool/daycare with friends.

He'd be about 18 months when we would switch

He's too little! Wait, OP. Poor little guy is used to the 1:1 attention he has gotten from his nanny since birth.
Which daycare do you recommend?

You can make more sacrifices than you think you can, OP.

OP, don't listen to the nanny trolls. 18 months is perfectly fine for a good daycare. He will want to be around other kids. Plenty of people put their much younger infants in daycare with no problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a nanny almost every employer I've had has told me they hired a nanny because it's so much cheaper then daycare. But if you only have 1 child I can understand it being a little higher.

OP here. We only have one child. With taxes, breedlove fees, and bonus, we pay about $1,000 a week

How old would your child be at the point he/she would start daycare? By 2, s/he might enjoy it, really, and by 3, s/he almost certainly will enjoy it. We have a bunch of kids and stuck with the nanny, but by the time they are 3.5, it has been clear to me that they would do just as well at preschool/daycare with friends.

He'd be about 18 months when we would switch

He's too little! Wait, OP. Poor little guy is used to the 1:1 attention he has gotten from his nanny since birth.
Which daycare do you recommend?

You can make more sacrifices than you think you can, OP.

OP, don't listen to the nanny trolls. 18 months is perfectly fine for a good daycare. He will want to be around other kids. Plenty of people put their much younger infants in daycare with no problem.

I agree with the PP who already addressed this point. There is a world of difference between "been in daycare since infancy and knows nothing else" and "change from the 1:1 attention of a nanny to a daycare situation at 18 months old".

This is a very clear distinction. I agree that it would be traumatic to stick an 18 month old in daycare when all he has known all his life is being in his home with his nanny.

I would wait until he is older, too, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your child will be fine OP. Do not beat yourself up if daycare is what works now for your family.

Yes, OP, he is not going to die. However I want more than just "fine" for my child. And I want what works best FOR HIM - not his parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both have pretty crazy work schedules. We have a 1 yo who is cared for by a nanny. I am considering a job that has much more reasonsble hours. Problem is that it pays significantly less. If I took the job, we could not afford the nanny, so we would need to use daycare. I know that nannies are preferable to daycare. But I also want to see my son and not work all the time.

Has anyone else been in this sort of situation?

Your child will be sick A LOT in his first year in daycare - mine missed about two to three days a month. Make sure DH can stay home with him as you wouldn't want to take so much time off from a brand new job.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't rock the boat at this stage either, OP. Find a way to keep DS home with the nanny for another six months, get used to your new job and slowly acclimate him to daycare (have the nanny take him for an hour or so for the first couple days and increase his time alone for several weeks).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't rock the boat at this stage either, OP. Find a way to keep DS home with the nanny for another six months, get used to your new job and slowly acclimate him to daycare (have the nanny take him for an hour or so for the first couple days and increase his time alone for several weeks).

If the choice is (a) staying at crazy job to afford nanny, and not being able to see son, and (b) taking lower paying job, seeing your son more, and putting him in daycare, then you can't be faulted for choice b. We only live once.

[Anonymous]

My DC is exactly 18 months old today. He has had the same nanny since he was born. First, he loves her. Second, he is going through a stage at 1.5 where he doesn't strangers or like to have DH or Nanny or I out of his sight.

18 months is the wrong time to switch to daycare. My little boy's heart would break and it would kill me -- far more than dipping into savings to keep the nanny or staying with a higher paying job to keep his security and stability until he is older.

It is different than having always been in daycare. My son naps in his own bed and always will.

[Anonymous]

Two words: nanny share

[Anonymous]

Talk to nanny about whether she would consider doing a share. If you could find another family with a similarly-aged toddler, your kid could get used to sharing/companionship, have consistency of care, and you could reduce what you pay (so if you currently pay $18 an hour, but drop to $12 and find another family willing to do $12, nanny earns more, but you pay less).

Failing that, a small in-home place is where I would look. The idea that in-home daycares are "worse" (as someone posted) is like asking whether nannies or daycares are better--they are completely different from one another and vary wildly based one the quality or the nanny/program. Look for a well-run in-home place with a small number of kids and nurturing, maternal caregiver(s), since that will be less of a transition than switching from nanny to big daycare center.

Barring that, a big center will likely be a rough adjustment for the reasons stated (at least 6 months of regular illnesses, tough age for separation anxiety, and it's overall just a big change in environment), but I would still take the job. Better to have a rough 6 months and have a family-friendly shedule for years to come than to tough it out with a schedule that doesn't let you see your kid. That is bad for him AND for you!

--Nanny

[Anonymous]

As someone who did this, it very rough. My daughter got sick right away with a terrible stomach flu (threw up all over the crib) and this was followed by a very bad cold! I literally had to take a week off work. Be prepared. Sickness will happen a lot.

[Anonymous]

For your child's sake, the nanny option is really the best childcare option for you since he is only a year old.

That being said however, you only have a certain amount of time to spend w/your son. These are precious years + you do not want to miss out since once they are gone, they are gone forever.

I think you should start looking for a good daycare. Get some good referrals if you can and start looking around.

And try to assist your nanny in securing a new position too if she is good. I.e., writing a glowing letter of recommendation, referring her to your friends and colleagues, etc.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP I think he will be fine. We didnt have a Nanny persay but had a friend who was like a Grandma type person take care of DD for the first 12 months. Then DD started at daycare. The first daycare we found wasnt a good fit for us so we found another one and DD has been there ever since ( almost 3) She is very happy there and loves going.
Given the option I think you should transition DS in though. Maybe pay the daycare and the Nanny for a week while you switch.
Have him just go for an hour the first day, the a couple of hours, then the whole morning, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I think he will be fine. We didnt have a Nanny persay but had a friend who was like a Grandma type person take care of DD for the first 12 months. Then DD started at daycare. The first daycare we found wasnt a good fit for us so we found another one and DD has been there ever since ( almost 3) She is very happy there and loves going.
Given the option I think you should transition DS in though. Maybe pay the daycare and the Nanny for a week while you switch.
Have him just go for an hour the first day, the a couple of hours, then the whole morning, etc.

12 months is very different than 18 months old. And 18 month old will cry and call for you and/or his nanny when you leave.

But I would do the same slow transition if I had to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who did this, it very rough. My daughter got sick right away with a terrible stomach flu (threw up all over the crib) and this was followed by a very bad cold! I literally had to take a week off work. Be prepared. Sickness will happen a lot.

+1 My kid was sick virtually every single month for at least three days. Fevers/viruses are a two-day event as daycare won't take them back until 24 hours after you have stopped OTM and fever is down. I almost got fired for missing so many days of work and my co-workers turned against me for having to pick up so much slack. Horrible first year.