Do I tell DB he makes me uncomfortable with touching me?

[Anonymous]

You are right, he is just being a man, but also it is not right what he is doing.

Either kindly let him know you are uncomfortable with any type of touching or certain remarks, or seek another family.

Boys will be boys, but there are some men out there who will respect their nannies and their wives to not make moves like the ones this guy is making on you.

[Anonymous]

Say: "John, I just wanted to mention something, I know you don't mean anything by it, but it just makes me really uncomfortable when you touch me. I generally dislike to be touched. Hope you understand, thanks".

[Anonymous]

I had a touchy coworker/supervisor once and while I was thinking over how best to address the issue, I just one day reacted naturally - he came up super close to me, put his hand on my shoulder and the other hand on my chair, kind of locking me in place. I was so surprised and startled that I jolted, popped up, and said "oh!!" and scooted way back to regain my personal space. Never an issue again - he got to play it off as it was a simple mistake, oops, say sorry, and I didn't have to relieve that it had been making me uncomfortable for weeks and I had been really thinking over how best to navigate the awkwardness of it all.

OP, you can try to address it verbally and hope he doesn't make things awkward for you going forward or you can stop holding back your natural reaction. If you're uncomfortable and surprised when he touches you, let that show and take back your personal space. He'll get it. You're rejecting him. He'll not want to be rejected again, so he'll stop, but you'd also give him an out, not accusing him of anything.

[Anonymous]

Why in almost 2015 are we using boys will be boys as an excuse and worried about hurting his feelings by telling him to stop?

People wonder where our rape culture comes from they blame it on music and movies.

Nope it starts at home and with other women.

Don't be so uptight.
Don't overreact.
Don't hurt his feelings.
Tell him no without actually saying no.
This is just how guys are.

So many of these responses make me sick and angry,and actually sad

When will these attitudes stop?.

It's your body no one has the right to touch you without invitation.

You absolutely have the right to tell the person to stop clearly , especially if it makes you uncomfortable.

Tell them to stop and do so clearly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why in almost 2015 are we using boys will be boys as an excuse and worried about hurting his feelings by telling him to stop?

People wonder where our rape culture comes from they blame it on music and movies.

Nope it starts at home and with other women.

Don't be so uptight.
Don't overreact.
Don't hurt his feelings.
Tell him no without actually saying no.
This is just how guys are.

So many of these responses make me sick and angry,and actually sad

When will these attitudes stop?.

It's your body no one has the right to touch you without invitation.

You absolutely have the right to tell the person to stop clearly , especially if it makes you uncomfortable.

Tell them to stop and do so clearly.

+1000 if anything about anybody touching you makes you uncomfortable, you 100% have the right to ask him/her not to do it, regardless of how innocent it was intended to be. it's your body!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why in almost 2015 are we using boys will be boys as an excuse and worried about hurting his feelings by telling him to stop?

People wonder where our rape culture comes from they blame it on music and movies.

Nope it starts at home and with other women.

Don't be so uptight.
Don't overreact.
Don't hurt his feelings.
Tell him no without actually saying no.
This is just how guys are.

So many of these responses make me sick and angry,and actually sad

When will these attitudes stop?.

It's your body no one has the right to touch you without invitation.

You absolutely have the right to tell the person to stop clearly , especially if it makes you uncomfortable.

Tell them to stop and do so clearly.

Thank You! These responses were making me furious too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this seems a little odd but whenever DB walks me to the door when leaving he put his hand on the middle of my back. It does make me uncomfortable. I have never had a boss do this ( experienced that with bf's). I don't believe it's sexual but can't be sure. He has said a sexual remark about me " wanting to bang something hard" with a hammer, asks about men I'm dating, " flexes" or does push ups in front of me, and often checks me out. I don't know if he is just being a guy and its nothing. Either way I do feel uncomfortable but I like this position and I don't want to make a fuss about it.

Please women it's your body and if you are not comfortable tell him. There is no hesitation for this kind of situations. I am a nanny and I don't like or let anybody touch me beside my husband.

You must not be a very good nanny if this is true.....

[Anonymous]

Thanks to all the helpful responses. One time he tried to put his hand on my back and I hurried up my pace and was out the door. I thought that would show him I'm not into him touching me but he has done it still. Sometimes he will even put his hand right above my butt area and guide me out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boss always give me a kiss on my face when I come and go to my work,i don't see nothing wrong with this,I think your brain is the problem,some people see bad thing everywehere,please berevior yourselph...

Your boss kiss on your face and you are OK with that.
WOW can't imagine anyone touching me.
Handshake is ok other than that I don't think it's normal.

People ,my family they always kiss me and give hugs,they are very polite and rich people ,i love that because this show how they appreciate and loves me.

[Anonymous]

This people is very stupid,they think only bad things...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to all the helpful responses. One time he tried to put his hand on my back and I hurried up my pace and was out the door. I thought that would show him I'm not into him touching me but he has done it still. Sometimes he will even put his hand right above my butt area and guide me out.

You need to tell him to stop. a previous pp gave an excellent example of how to approach it directly and appropriately. Respectful individuals would not be offended but rather apologetic for displaying behaviors that make another person uncomfortable. If he takes it poorly than you know that these were sexual advances and you should immediately find a new position. By continuing to allow him to touch you this way, you are saying you don't mind these interactions. Use your voice and tell him to stop. No one has the right to touch you when you don't like it but you have to tell them you don't like it.

Like another pp stated, the rape culture in America is disgusting and we continually come up with excuses on why women should allow or brush off inappropriate and uncomfortable behavior. When in actuality we should be speaking up and stop treating the offender like victims can't control themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to all the helpful responses. One time he tried to put his hand on my back and I hurried up my pace and was out the door. I thought that would show him I'm not into him touching me but he has done it still. Sometimes he will even put his hand right above my butt area and guide me out.

You can pick up his hand and give it back to him. I've done that several times and it's pretty effective. When he puts his hand on your back, pick up his wrist, turn around, and give it back to him. A stern eye, with "I'll see myself out" should make it clear you don't like his daily escort to the door. If he continues after that, I think it's ridiculous and you should tell him you feel really uncomfortable, please stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why in almost 2015 are we using boys will be boys as an excuse and worried about hurting his feelings by telling him to stop?

People wonder where our rape culture comes from they blame it on music and movies.

Nope it starts at home and with other women.

Don't be so uptight.
Don't overreact.
Don't hurt his feelings.
Tell him no without actually saying no.
This is just how guys are.

So many of these responses make me sick and angry,and actually sad

When will these attitudes stop?.

It's your body no one has the right to touch you without invitation.

You absolutely have the right to tell the person to stop clearly , especially if it makes you uncomfortable.

Tell them to stop and do so clearly.

I don't think anyone was advising OP that she doesn't have a right to say no. We were just suggesting how to say no without making her work environment incredibly awkward going forward. I've navigated a few different situations like this, when I had to continue seeing the other person each day, and it was in my interest to both stop the inappropriate touching and keep things collegial. I wasn't doing it as a favor to the guy, I was doing it for myself.

[Anonymous]

"From a very young age, people are taught that an oppressed person being impolite is a much worse offence than a privileged person being violent."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this seems a little odd but whenever DB walks me to the door when leaving he put his hand on the middle of my back. It does make me uncomfortable. I have never had a boss do this ( experienced that with bf's). I don't believe it's sexual but can't be sure. He has said a sexual remark about me " wanting to bang something hard" with a hammer, asks about men I'm dating, " flexes" or does push ups in front of me, and often checks me out. I don't know if he is just being a guy and its nothing. Either way I do feel uncomfortable but I like this position and I don't want to make a fuss about it.

Please women it's your body and if you are not comfortable tell him. There is no hesitation for this kind of situations. I am a nanny and I don't like or let anybody touch me beside my husband.

+1000 MB here. The man is a creep. There is no way he should be making these remarks and touching you. Tell him the next time he touches you.