Nanny who has children the same age as yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If faced with two equally qualified nannies, one of whom had young children and one who did not, I would hire the one without young kids.

As any parent of young kids knows, they get sick. They get sick a fair amount, little head colds, flus, ear infections, etc... It goes with the territory. If a mother doesn't have a childcare option in place that includes being home w/ a sick child, then the mother or father has to stay home (generally).

So why would I choose a nanny who will be facing the exact same childcare challenges that I face, and that drive me to hire her in the first place? I assume that a mother of young children will need days off unexpectedly and that is the single most difficult thing for me to accommodate.

It's a shame, but it's the reality.

Get backup care then because if you expect your nanny to never get sick, especially after forcing her to take care of your snot-infested kid, then you're an idiot. And she may get pregnant at some point. I assume you'd just fire her if she did though.

I do have backup care. And I have a 60 year old nanny so the odds of her getting pregnant are pretty slim. And she's been with us for years because I'm a freaking awesome boss and she's a freaking awesome nanny. And together we have seen each other through significant illnesses and raised two fabulous kids. But she's never missed a day of work because one of her children was sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If faced with two equally qualified nannies, one of whom had young children and one who did not, I would hire the one without young kids.

As any parent of young kids knows, they get sick. They get sick a fair amount, little head colds, flus, ear infections, etc... It goes with the territory. If a mother doesn't have a childcare option in place that includes being home w/ a sick child, then the mother or father has to stay home (generally).

So why would I choose a nanny who will be facing the exact same childcare challenges that I face, and that drive me to hire her in the first place? I assume that a mother of young children will need days off unexpectedly and that is the single most difficult thing for me to accommodate.

It's a shame, but it's the reality.

Get backup care then because if you expect your nanny to never get sick, especially after forcing her to take care of your snot-infested kid, then you're an idiot. And she may get pregnant at some point. I assume you'd just fire her if she did though.

I do have backup care. And I have a 60 year old nanny so the odds of her getting pregnant are pretty slim. And she's been with us for years because I'm a freaking awesome boss and she's a freaking awesome nanny. And together we have seen each other through significant illnesses and raised two fabulous kids. But she's never missed a day of work because one of her children was sick.

+1

[Anonymous]

This topic brought out the most toxic of posts last time around. It looks like we are headed down the same road. How about we just choose not to instead?

[Anonymous]

One thing to consider is whether your parenting styles are the same. We briefly had a nanny with a DS six months older than mine. It was very very hard to get her to do things our way because she would constantly respond, well this is how I do it for my son, and it works fine. We parted ways after a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing to consider is whether your parenting styles are the same. We briefly had a nanny with a DS six months older than mine. It was very very hard to get her to do things our way because she would constantly respond, well this is how I do it for my son, and it works fine. We parted ways after a few weeks.

This was one reason I passed on a candidate recently. Her son was the same age as our oldest, 4.5, and it was clear from what she said that she had a very different approach to parenting than we did. In a way, it was a good thing she had a child of a similar age, because it meant that some of these topics came up very naturally during the interview and we could see it wasn't a match.

[Anonymous]

Let's face it, the main reason MB's dislike nannies with young children is that they want a nanny whose entire sole focus is THEIR child only. They don't want her going home to their own child whom they miss and adore. They don't want her to have a real life outside of their family or any other obligations, hence the whining about "part of the reason to hire a nanny is for the flexibility" BS.

[Anonymous]

Let's face it, the main reason MB's dislike nannies with young children is that they want a nanny whose entire sole focus is THEIR child only. They don't want her going home to their own child whom they miss and adore. They don't want her to have a real life outside of their family or any other obligations, hence the whining about "part of the reason to hire a nanny is for the flexibility" BS.

No, bitter nanny, MBs don't have the time or bandwidth to want to thwart or be jealous of another mother going home to a child they miss and adore. It's weirdly paranoid of you to think they don't like you for that reason. They don't want to deny you your real life. They are only interested in you doing your job.

Whether you believe it or not, flexibility IS why people hire nannies over other childcare options. Some MBs feel that a nanny with small children would face challenges that would interfere with her ability to do her job, or she might require extra accommodations that bring undue hardship and faced with a choice between a nanny who has challenges that need to be accommodated and ones who don't, they'll choose the nanny who can be there and do the job.

It isn't about you. It's about the job.

Personally, I don't care about a nanny's personal life. I don't care if she has a partner or kids...not my business. If she says she can do the job and does it, all good. But I understand parents who are wary, especially when nannies think it's ok to ask for unprofessional perks, like bringing their child to work.

[Anonymous]

Not the ppl, but I bring my child to work and it's been great on both sides. My employers specifically looked for that type of arrangement actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's face it, the main reason MB's dislike nannies with young children is that they want a nanny whose entire sole focus is THEIR child only. They don't want her going home to their own child whom they miss and adore. They don't want her to have a real life outside of their family or any other obligations, hence the whining about "part of the reason to hire a nanny is for the flexibility" BS.

Um, no. I don't like nannies with young children because I don't want to subsidize someone else's childcare. Why would I pay a nanny $18 to watch her child and mine? What a scam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's face it, the main reason MB's dislike nannies with young children is that they want a nanny whose entire sole focus is THEIR child only. They don't want her going home to their own child whom they miss and adore. They don't want her to have a real life outside of their family or any other obligations, hence the whining about "part of the reason to hire a nanny is for the flexibility" BS.

Um, no. I don't like nannies with young children because I don't want to subsidize someone else's childcare. Why would I pay a nanny $18 to watch her child and mine? What a scam.

I think it could work if they were the same age and there was some break on the rate; more like a share, though you would have more control, so not half price. I would also want a break on the rate because I would expect to have to pay for the nanny kid's classes if I wanted my kid to go to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Let's face it, the main reason MB's dislike nannies with young children is that they want a nanny whose entire sole focus is THEIR child only. They don't want her going home to their own child whom they miss and adore. They don't want her to have a real life outside of their family or any other obligations, hence the whining about "part of the reason to hire a nanny is for the flexibility" BS.

No, bitter nanny, MBs don't have the time or bandwidth to want to thwart or be jealous of another mother going home to a child they miss and adore. It's weirdly paranoid of you to think they don't like you for that reason. They don't want to deny you your real life. They are only interested in you doing your job.

Whether you believe it or not, flexibility IS why people hire nannies over other childcare options. Some MBs feel that a nanny with small children would face challenges that would interfere with her ability to do her job, or she might require extra accommodations that bring undue hardship and faced with a choice between a nanny who has challenges that need to be accommodated and ones who don't, they'll choose the nanny who can be there and do the job.

It isn't about you. It's about the job.

Personally, I don't care about a nanny's personal life. I don't care if she has a partner or kids...not my business. If she says she can do the job and does it, all good. But I understand parents who are wary, especially when nannies think it's ok to ask for unprofessional perks, like bringing their child to work.

Yes, this. Especially the bolded parts.

[Anonymous]

Who says a nanny who is also a mom can't do the job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who says a nanny who is also a mom can't do the job?

No one. Absolutely no one has said that, regardless of where they fall on the question OP posed.