Nanny's second day - I should just chill right?

[Anonymous]

This is a huge problem when nannies and parents are in the same place at the same time! Never a good idea.

I would have just bitten my tongue and concentrated on my job and let the nanny work on hers.

If you can, try to spend as much of your time at the office vs. working in the home.

It's so tempting to interfere all the time....Sometimes that temptation will be much too great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a huge problem when nannies and parents are in the same place at the same time! Never a good idea.

I would have just bitten my tongue and concentrated on my job and let the nanny work on hers.

If you can, try to spend as much of your time at the office vs. working in the home.

It's so tempting to interfere all the time....Sometimes that temptation will be much too great.

It's not interfering when you are still getting to know a brand new nanny. It's parenting. And it's managing your new employee (which is different from micromanaging). And this particular nanny doesn't sound like she has inspired much confidence so far, so I am not sure how any reasonable parent would just start spending more time in the office to deal with that ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a huge problem when nannies and parents are in the same place at the same time! Never a good idea.

I would have just bitten my tongue and concentrated on my job and let the nanny work on hers.

If you can, try to spend as much of your time at the office vs. working in the home.

It's so tempting to interfere all the time....Sometimes that temptation will be much too great.

It's not interfering when you are still getting to know a brand new nanny. It's parenting. And it's managing your new employee (which is different from micromanaging). And this particular nanny doesn't sound like she has inspired much confidence so far, so I am not sure how any reasonable parent would just start spending more time in the office to deal with that ...

Unless the child was in immediate danger, it is micromanaging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a huge problem when nannies and parents are in the same place at the same time! Never a good idea.

I would have just bitten my tongue and concentrated on my job and let the nanny work on hers.

If you can, try to spend as much of your time at the office vs. working in the home.

It's so tempting to interfere all the time....Sometimes that temptation will be much too great.

It's not interfering when you are still getting to know a brand new nanny. It's parenting. And it's managing your new employee (which is different from micromanaging). And this particular nanny doesn't sound like she has inspired much confidence so far, so I am not sure how any reasonable parent would just start spending more time in the office to deal with that ...

Unless the child was in immediate danger, it is micromanaging.

So you think that you hire a new nanny, hand your child over with minimal instructions on day one, and let the nanny do her thing without any input (and try to disappear off to work) because otherwise it's micromanaging? How on earth would a parent have any idea if their child was in good, capable hands, let along danger? There is a HUGE gap between abuse and danger and actually being a good nanny, and while a nanny might not be putting my child in danger by planting him in front of the TV, that doesn't mean I'd keep employing a nanny who did the latter. Getting to know and trust a new nanny is an ongoing process not a one or two day thing ... If you think that's micromanaging, you should find a new line of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a huge problem when nannies and parents are in the same place at the same time! Never a good idea.

I would have just bitten my tongue and concentrated on my job and let the nanny work on hers.

If you can, try to spend as much of your time at the office vs. working in the home.

It's so tempting to interfere all the time....Sometimes that temptation will be much too great.

It's not interfering when you are still getting to know a brand new nanny. It's parenting. And it's managing your new employee (which is different from micromanaging). And this particular nanny doesn't sound like she has inspired much confidence so far, so I am not sure how any reasonable parent would just start spending more time in the office to deal with that ...

Unless the child was in immediate danger, it is micromanaging.

So you think that you hire a new nanny, hand your child over with minimal instructions on day one, and let the nanny do her thing without any input (and try to disappear off to work) because otherwise it's micromanaging? How on earth would a parent have any idea if their child was in good, capable hands, let along danger? There is a HUGE gap between abuse and danger and actually being a good nanny, and while a nanny might not be putting my child in danger by planting him in front of the TV, that doesn't mean I'd keep employing a nanny who did the latter. Getting to know and trust a new nanny is an ongoing process not a one or two day thing ... If you think that's micromanaging, you should find a new line of work.

+1000.

[Anonymous]

Geez OP, you come on here asking for advice, then when you receive it, you get all snarky.

I feel sorry for the nanny you hired.

I wouldn't want to work for a grumpy ass bitch like you.

[Anonymous]

ummm, this is the OP and NONE of the recent replies have been me. The nanny is working out wonderfully, I just gently reiterated some things that worked for me, and she then found a combination of things to help DD get to sleep. by day 3 all was well.

[Anonymous]

MB here. OP, it sounds to me like your basic instincts about all of this are exactly right. And I agree that things will be easier when you're out of the house and not having to fight the instinct to go to your baby. And your baby will adjust. And there are many ways to do these things - almost all of which can work just fine.

So if you trust the person you hired, and you're comfortable with allowing her to try some new things, then I think you're handling this perfectly.

You sound really reasonable and grounded for just the first couple days of this. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a huge problem when nannies and parents are in the same place at the same time! Never a good idea.

I would have just bitten my tongue and concentrated on my job and let the nanny work on hers.

If you can, try to spend as much of your time at the office vs. working in the home.

It's so tempting to interfere all the time....Sometimes that temptation will be much too great.

It's not interfering when you are still getting to know a brand new nanny. It's parenting. And it's managing your new employee (which is different from micromanaging). And this particular nanny doesn't sound like she has inspired much confidence so far, so I am not sure how any reasonable parent would just start spending more time in the office to deal with that ...

Unless the child was in immediate danger, it is micromanaging.

So you think that you hire a new nanny, hand your child over with minimal instructions on day one, and let the nanny do her thing without any input (and try to disappear off to work) because otherwise it's micromanaging? How on earth would a parent have any idea if their child was in good, capable hands, let along danger? There is a HUGE gap between abuse and danger and actually being a good nanny, and while a nanny might not be putting my child in danger by planting him in front of the TV, that doesn't mean I'd keep employing a nanny who did the latter. Getting to know and trust a new nanny is an ongoing process not a one or two day thing ... If you think that's micromanaging, you should find a new line of work.

The thing is, OP gave her nanny instruction and agreed to allow her nanny to try it her own way. The nanny asked. She didn't go rogue. Nobody is claiming that giving instruction is micromanaging. Butting in and telling the nanny to do things your way when the outcome would be the same anyway is micromanaging. Who cares if she uses a swaddle if the baby will nap without it? Who cares if the nanny rocks the baby in a different chair than you do? The baby will still nap. Philosophical parenting differences, such as television, religion, punishment, etc. are completely different. Trying to manage the minutiae of the nanny's day and how she manages it will grate on her nerves very quickly. When you hire a nanny, it is your responsibility to verify past employment, check references, do a DMV/Background check and a conduct a thorough interview. If you want to hire AND keep a knowledgable, professional caregiver for your child, you have to step back and allow her to do her job the way she needs to do it. You are correct. Getting to know and trust a nanny is an ongoing process. When you begin that new relationship under a cloud of fear and a "what if she abuses my baby" vibe, it will not grow into a trusting relationship. She will feel unhappy in her work.
As for me finding a new line of work, no. I love being a nanny and am very good at it.
I've been doing this for a very long time and can assure you...you are going about this the wrong way PP.

OP-it sounds like you have a wonderful nanny and are well on your way to having a lovely working relationship with her.