I can't put the baby down without her crying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will the baby sit on the floor and play with you near her but obviously not holding her? Will she sit in her high chair for meals?

I agree an 8 mo old can't be "spoiled" but I'm wondering if she may have some other health issues.

Like what? Affluenza?

Please don't bore me.

How many low-income babies do you know that have the option of being held every second?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Babies can't be spoiled but they can be taught bad habits. Never allowing a child to problem solve or self soothe teaches them they are only safe/secure/loved when they are in your arms. It sounds counter intuitive but a securely attached child should not need to be held constantly, that is a sign of an insecure attachment. Separation anxiety is entirely normal at her age, but your description sounds like there is something more going on.

Ask MB how you two can lovingly and respectfully teach DC that she is safe/secure/loved even when she is not being held.

This is actually 100% correct. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

MB gave me permission to do what I feel is best so I am considering a form of CIO. Right now I just left her upstairs less than a minute ago. She is in her crib and hopefully she will drift to sleep. I am tired of holding a baby all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will the baby sit on the floor and play with you near her but obviously not holding her? Will she sit in her high chair for meals?

I agree an 8 mo old can't be "spoiled" but I'm wondering if she may have some other health issues.

Like what? Affluenza?

Please don't bore me.

How many low-income babies do you know that have the option of being held every second?

I was in the Peace Corp - thousands of mothers poorer than you could ever imagine carry and wear their babies 100% of the time.

If you have problems with people in the US who can afford a nanny perhaps you shouldn't be a nanny or a parent hires one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Babies can't be spoiled but they can be taught bad habits. Never allowing a child to problem solve or self soothe teaches them they are only safe/secure/loved when they are in your arms. It sounds counter intuitive but a securely attached child should not need to be held constantly, that is a sign of an insecure attachment. Separation anxiety is entirely normal at her age, but your description sounds like there is something more going on.

Ask MB how you two can lovingly and respectfully teach DC that she is safe/secure/loved even when she is not being held.

Maybe she feels insecure because some stranger not her mother is not taking care of her.

Your job is to take care of the baby, is it not? Isn't holding her part of the job? What else do you want to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB gave me permission to do what I feel is best so I am considering a form of CIO. Right now I just left her upstairs less than a minute ago. She is in her crib and hopefully she will drift to sleep. I am tired of holding a baby all day.

SMH this encapsulates here why I never even contemplated a nanny. CIO for crissakes...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Babies can't be spoiled but they can be taught bad habits. Never allowing a child to problem solve or self soothe teaches them they are only safe/secure/loved when they are in your arms. It sounds counter intuitive but a securely attached child should not need to be held constantly, that is a sign of an insecure attachment. Separation anxiety is entirely normal at her age, but your description sounds like there is something more going on.

Ask MB how you two can lovingly and respectfully teach DC that she is safe/secure/loved even when she is not being held.

Maybe she feels insecure because some stranger not her mother is not taking care of her.

Your job is to take care of the baby, is it not? Isn't holding her part of the job? What else do you want to do?

OP here.

My job is to care for the baby, correct. No good comes from a baby who is completely unable to self soothe or be detached from a caregiver. I cannot go to the bathroom without her crying and screaming at the top of her lungs. I cannot make bottles without her wailing. As for the other poster, I tried CIO for exactly one minute. I put her in her crib and stood outside the door for 60 seconds. She screamed the whole time so I came back in and picked her up. 20 mins later I tried again. I put her down and left her for one minute. MB said, that she would like to have her trained soon because we are all tired of holding her for the duration of her naps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB gave me permission to do what I feel is best so I am considering a form of CIO. Right now I just left her upstairs less than a minute ago. She is in her crib and hopefully she will drift to sleep. I am tired of holding a baby all day.

SMH this encapsulates here why I never even contemplated a nanny. CIO for crissakes...

Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will the baby sit on the floor and play with you near her but obviously not holding her? Will she sit in her high chair for meals?

I agree an 8 mo old can't be "spoiled" but I'm wondering if she may have some other health issues.

Like what? Affluenza?

Please don't bore me.

How many low-income babies do you know that have the option of being held every second?

I was in the Peace Corp - thousands of mothers poorer than you could ever imagine carry and wear their babies 100% of the time.

If you have problems with people in the US who can afford a nanny perhaps you shouldn't be a nanny or a parent hires one.

This isn't the Peace Corp. Most low-income DC area babies are not held every single second.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB gave me permission to do what I feel is best so I am considering a form of CIO. Right now I just left her upstairs less than a minute ago. She is in her crib and hopefully she will drift to sleep. I am tired of holding a baby all day.

SMH this encapsulates here why I never even contemplated a nanny. CIO for crissakes...

Why are you on nanny forums??

[Anonymous]

I am on the fence on whether or not an 8-month old can be spoiled or not, but I believe that carrying this child w/you ALL the time is not healthy for you or the child.

Having to carry this child w/you to the bathroom is just extreme and if this mother is asking you to do this, then she is just nuts.

This baby needs to be trained at even this young age, that she cannot be held all the time and that she needs to self-soothe at times.

The sooner, the better.

[Anonymous]

I am ok with CIO but would not have waited until the 8 month mark to do it. You may want to try a progressive method.

[Anonymous]

I would start by putting her down while you are in the room, OP - put her down to play and eat in her highchair. As a PP suggested, pretend to ignore the crying. Once she realizes that being out of arms isn't so bad you could try sleep training of some sort.

The worst thing you can do, IMO, is traumatize her by putting her down for the first time in her life and leaving the room. Start by putting her down for the duration of fun things like playing and eating.

Sorry you are going thru this - I have never heard of a baby with this kind of behavior before. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

She wants to be held all the time. She does not need to be held all the time. If you are making up her bottles, just put her on the floor at your feet. She will cry. That's okay. Talk to her and sing to her and give her kitchen utensils to play with. Put her on the floor at your feet while you sit and read a book to her. Put her in her highchair while you sit next to her and eat your lunch. Don't put her down and walk away or out of the room, but do put her down while you remain within her sight. She will adjust.

[Anonymous]

Is she crawling yet? Sitting up on her own?