Apparently I'm doing it wrong with nanny and young baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi all. After reading some recent threads, I'm wondering if we are setting ourselves up for a problem. I'm a FTM to a 2 month old. Her nanny has been with is for a month. During this stage, I've let her run errands, meet friends for lunch, etc as DD is a great Napper in her stroller and at 2 months, other than eating, sleeping, diaper changes, tummy time, and engaging with her, there isn't a whole lot to do. I trust her nanny has good judgement and when she says she doesn't take DD around sick people or crowded areas, I believe her.

When we hired her, we said we'd redo the contract when DS was around 6 months because activities would be changing and commitments from the nanny would be changing (ie making food for baby, taking her to more scheduled activities, etc).

However, after reading some posts from MBs saying they'd never let their kids nanny run personal errands or meet up with nanny friends with a newborn, I'm wondering if what we are doing isn't the norm and we are going to be in for a big problem as DD gets older.

Should we talk with her again about what future expectations are going to be?

Lady let the nanny do her job,you are too much,why you hire her?PLEASE!!!

q

God go away illiterate nanny. Obviously you don't even understand ops posts. However your posts are always incredibly annoying

[Anonymous]

Op here.

Thanks all. I wont speak to her nanny. Even with the posts here saying I am wrong, no one could give me a good reason why I'm wrong. I couldnt imagine having to spend all my time alone with a newborn. I know DD is safe and being taken care of very well, so I guess I really have no reason to worry.

To answer another pp, yes we plan to give a raise at 1 year. When we re negotiate the contract in a few months,her nanny will be getting a few additional perks since shell be so.much busier!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Thanks all. I wont speak to her nanny. Even with the posts here saying I am wrong, no one could give me a good reason why I'm wrong. I couldnt imagine having to spend all my time alone with a newborn. I know DD is safe and being taken care of very well, so I guess I really have no reason to worry.

To answer another pp, yes we plan to give a raise at 1 year. When we re negotiate the contract in a few months,her nanny will be getting a few additional perks since shell be so.much busier!

OP, I think you are doing just fine. As long as you are happy with your nanny and trust her you shouldn't have any trouble. It was very smart to say you will re-evaluate when DC is 6 months old. You will occasionally get good advice from DCUM but you have to sift through the crazy responses and those just looking to start an argument.

-an MB

[Anonymous]

OP, my concern would be, as someone else said, pushback in the future.

There isn't much to do with a newborn (though, IMO (and Dr. Weissbluth's), you're better off doing naps where you want naps to be when the baby is older).

I also think that you should be prepared at that 6 month meeting to talk about what you see your child's days looking like. I think it might be difficult to switch from a job where you get to decide what to do all the time, and that can include running your personal errands, meeting friends for lunch, going out for coffee, etc. to one where the baby is more scheduled (naps at home, has classes or playtime, meal prep and clean up).

One possible reaction I see from the nanny is her saying what many SAHM's end up saying, "there's just not enough time in the day for xyz," because she's also trying to still fit in all the things she was doing before.

Anyway, if you know what you want at that meeting, I think everything will be fine, but you should also consider how you would feel if six months into your own job, which had been entirely loosey-goosey and at your own discretion until that point, your boss suddenly "took away" some of your freedom to set you own schedule or drive your own day.

[Anonymous]

OP, please do not worry about what is the norm. I'm a nanny in a nanny share, and I am lucky enough that the families I work for trust me. Unlike many dcum nannies, I am able to run errands, meet friends for lunch, etc., as long as the babies are happy and their needs are taken care of. This works for us, and my families know that I would not take advantage of this flexibility.

It's important for you to trust the person caring for your child, and trust that they will make decisions in your baby's best interest. Do what works for your family and do not worry about the opinions of others.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not.

You are right. At this age, your baby's only needs are to be fed, changed and to have adequate rest. It is quite alright for your nanny to take her along on errands or to meet friends as long as your baby is being cared for properly which it seems she is. Trust me OP, a happy nanny ensures a happy infant.

Are you really going to take what some anonymous strangers on some anonymous free forum are saying to make you change your mind? It sounds like this set-up is working well for everyone right now and if it isn't broke, then don't fix it.

In the future, if your nanny wants to occasionally run some errands or meet friends, I don't see any issues. My bosses let me do this and they were okay with it. I made sure of course this was very occasional and I always made sure the majority of our time was spent on kid-related activities, but if I needed to run to Target for something or meet a friend at McDonald's for lunch, my boss was cool. Plus, my charge loved to see new faces and play at the playground.

If you give your nanny too many restrictions and make her feel too tied down to the house with too many rules, she will feel lonely and isolated and that will only make for an unhappy nanny. And who will suffer the most? Your daughter.

[Anonymous]

MB here and one of the posters on the other thread who has no problem with our nanny running errands while she takes car of DD. Our nanny has been with us almost six years. Ignore the mean responses on any of these threads.

If your nanny is doing a good job and you trust her, then let her run errands and have lunch. If you start to suspect that she is taking advantage of that flexibility, then have a talk with her. I think it's essential to have a year review before granting a raise. Use that time to let nanny tell you her successes for the year and why she has earned a raise. Set expectations for the next year. A good nanny adjusts her schedule as the children grow.

[Anonymous]

MB here and like the one above I have no problem w/ our nanny getting some personal stuff done when it makes sense and she's out w/ the kids anyway. A little flexibility on our side pays huge dividends and we treat each other respectfully. We have a great relationship.

So you can allow these kinds of things if it makes sense for the dynamics in your family and with your nanny.

My one caution would be that you sound like you might have a pretty significant "reset" in a couple of months, so it can be difficult to take back flexibility and extra considerations when they no longer make sense in the context of the job. Especially in the first few months you want to make sure you build a good solid relationship w/ the nanny, and a level of communication that will serve you well for the duration of the employment.

I would have some candid conversations so that you and the nanny both have a plan for things changing over time and that expectations are clear.

Good luck.

[nannydebsays]

Anonymous wrote:Hi all. After reading some recent threads, I'm wondering if we are setting ourselves up for a problem. I'm a FTM to a 2 month old. Her nanny has been with is for a month. During this stage, I've let her run errands, meet friends for lunch, etc as DD is a great Napper in her stroller and at 2 months, other than eating, sleeping, diaper changes, tummy time, and engaging with her, there isn't a whole lot to do. I trust her nanny has good judgement and when she says she doesn't take DD around sick people or crowded areas, I believe her.

When we hired her, we said we'd redo the contract when DS was around 6 months because activities would be changing and commitments from the nanny would be changing (ie making food for baby, taking her to more scheduled activities, etc).

However, after reading some posts from MBs saying they'd never let their kids nanny run personal errands or meet up with nanny friends with a newborn, I'm wondering if what we are doing isn't the norm and we are going to be in for a big problem as DD gets older.

Should we talk with her again about what future expectations are going to be?

OP, I think you need to think a bit about how you envision a "perfect week" for your daughter and her nanny. Do you see your daughter napping as exclusively as possible in her crib, or are you fine with naps "on the go"? Do you think nanny's errands will be an integral part of the day, or do you see your daughter's schedule and needs as the more important part of the day? Do you recognize that your nanny works long hours (if that is indeed the case) and feel fine with her doing some errands while working because she can't get them done otherwise?

As a nanny, my perspective is that baby's needs come first, mine second. I don't do my grocery shopping while I work, but I do stop at the bank, or get gas, or grab something at Starbucks when we are heading to an activity for my charge(s). If my employers want naps to be at home, that's where they are taken. If I've been asked to take kids to music class, I don't try and fit in errands before and after, simply because, as a PP said, there isn't enough time in the day.

If you are happy with the current situation, and your nanny is experienced enough to know things will change soon, then I think all is well. If you aren't happy with the current status quo, make changes now, rather than waiting for nanny's habits to really settle into place.

[Anonymous]

I think it is great of you to allow your nanny to take your DS out and about, and I also think that in appropriate settings/amounts of time out it is very beneficial for your child. I agree with PP who said that a good nanny will naturally cut down on time spent on adult activities once your DS is older because it is very hard to do certain things with a baby who just wants to get out, move around and play.

I don't think your nanny should be going out to lunch every single day or running errands that often, but a little bit can never hurt. I mean most parents take their kids to the store and to lunch at one point or another. I think a huge problem for families with nannies is wanting 100% attention on their child at all times, and that is not how things work when the child is school aged or in the working world. Your kids need to learn that when their caregiver is in a conversation with another adult that they should be polite and respectful, and I think your nanny going out helps with that.

[Anonymous]

I don't like our nanny driving her charge because I don't think her car is safe and she uses her phone while driving. Not worth it. I take my car to work and we any afford to buy her a new car.

[Anonymous]

OP, we ask our nanny to make our top priorities her top priorities and let her know those things that we don't get worked up about so she knows when it's okay to be lax. I want her to be happy at work and to enjoy her job (my employer feels the same I think, so long as I'm doing what's required and doing it well).

So, feedings and following feeding schedules are a must in our house. If she wants to chat on the phone with friends while the baby sleeps, that's fine by me. Some moms wouldn't want any personal calls. I don't care. Some moms would be okay with skipped tummy time one day. That would upset me unless there was good reason.

All that to say, ask her to do what's important for you and give her freedom the rest of the time so you keep a valued employee.