Delicate issue with nanny and bee allergy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's a mild allergy can that cause a deadly reaction? Or is it just uncomfortable hives and such?

OP here. It was a mild reaction (hives and swelling in the area stung) but that doesn't mean it is always going to be a "minor" reaction.

[Anonymous]

Have you had the conversation with her yet where you say that this job may not be right for her anymore? Let her try to come up with an acceptable solution. Right now, she's putting it all on you to adjust the job to her.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to have a clear conversation with her. "We need a nanny who is willing to take Orion and Larla to the park at least X times per week. If that is something you aren't comfortable doing, then this is no longer a good fit. We don't want to lose you and were hoping that we could help you with this by paying for a visit with my allergist."

She is either willing to work with you or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to have a clear conversation with her. "We need a nanny who is willing to take Orion and Larla to the park at least X times per week. If that is something you aren't comfortable doing, then this is no longer a good fit. We don't want to lose you and were hoping that we could help you with this by paying for a visit with my allergist."

She is either willing to work with you or not.

+1

[Anonymous]

I had a friend who died at age 24 from a bee sting. She got all the care you could, epi-pen, rushed to hospital, but still ...died. So this is a very serious issue and if Nanny needs to find an inside job, she needs to start thinking about her future, maybe not as a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you could arrange for a local teenager/college student to get your child out to the park for a few hours every week? Make it a standing appointment so they can rely on the cash even if it's very few hours. As far as I understand your nanny doesn't mind going to certain places, so just make a schedule of where and when she goes with your kid and supplement with the couple of hours of park/playground time with the extra babysitter.

That is, of course, if you're willing to pay a little more to keep your by the looks of it otherwise perfect nanny - after all no bee season is much longer than the bee season.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you could arrange for a local teenager/college student to get your child out to the park for a few hours every week? Make it a standing appointment so they can rely on the cash even if it's very few hours. As far as I understand your nanny doesn't mind going to certain places, so just make a schedule of where and when she goes with your kid and supplement with the couple of hours of park/playground time with the extra babysitter.

That is, of course, if you're willing to pay a little more to keep your by the looks of it otherwise perfect nanny - after all no bee season is much longer than the bee season.

God some of you people will bend over backwards for people that just don't deserve it. This is just like the pregnancy issue, the family is the one hiring, they are providing the job, and they require the benefit. They owe you nothing beyond money after you've done the work. If you plan to get pregnant you should not be a nanny as it is a massive inconvenience and issue for the families. Same thing with a bee allergy that prevents you from going outside to play. She may have been a great nanny up until this point, but at this time she is a terrible nanny and needs to be let go so she can pursue a career in a different field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you could arrange for a local teenager/college student to get your child out to the park for a few hours every week? Make it a standing appointment so they can rely on the cash even if it's very few hours. As far as I understand your nanny doesn't mind going to certain places, so just make a schedule of where and when she goes with your kid and supplement with the couple of hours of park/playground time with the extra babysitter.

That is, of course, if you're willing to pay a little more to keep your by the looks of it otherwise perfect nanny - after all no bee season is much longer than the bee season.

God some of you people will bend over backwards for people that just don't deserve it. This is just like the pregnancy issue, the family is the one hiring, they are providing the job, and they require the benefit. They owe you nothing beyond money after you've done the work. If you plan to get pregnant you should not be a nanny as it is a massive inconvenience and issue for the families. Same thing with a bee allergy that prevents you from going outside to play. She may have been a great nanny up until this point, but at this time she is a terrible nanny and needs to be let go so she can pursue a career in a different field.

Look, op wanted suggestions on how to make this work without having to fire her nanny. That's what people are giving her. The responsibility isn't entirely on op, but I think it's commendable that she's trying to meet her nanny half way. If the nanny then refuses to move the other half, then yes I think it's time to find someone new. But there are solutions to problems other than just "fire her!" And I think it's nice to try those first.

[Anonymous]

I have a deadly bee allergy, OP.

The problem is that you can't have a compromise to accommodate your nanny's fears because those fears are unrealistic, especially in her profession. She can't avoid the outside during any day a bee might be around. Whether she is working or not, she is going to need to live with an allergy.

Therefore, the only thing you can do is have the uncomfortable conversation of suggesting that she meet with an allergist, and maybe a therapist, to learn to live with her fears. When you approach it with her, you can stress how this will help improve her quality of life, beyond just her job. Living indoors, afraid of bees, is not a fulfilling life. Especially, as a PP pointed out, the chances of getting stung are fairly low.

You can give her some practical suggestions. Like, if the worst happened, what would she do? Obviously, the epipen, but after that, does she have an ICE contact on speed dial on her phone? Your number on speed dial? Perhaps knowing she can get help quickly if she needs it will help.

I get where she's coming from. It's the fear talking. I still get apprehensive when I see a bee, and I have been allergic my whole life. That said, my apprehensions are not a reason to stay inside. I have been stung three times in my life, and I'm a huge camper/hiker and exposed to lots of bees.

She can deal with her fears if she wants to. If she doesn't, there is nothing you can do to help that and she won't be able to be a great nanny, and sadly, you might need to move on.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are so inclined to keep on her, perhaps offer to take her to an allergist and go with her for support. She might be unable to afford someone and there's no need to get rid of a wonderful person who has been with your family for some years now.

If you feel like it, you can probably salvage this situation and help this person also come to terms with her fear.

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming nanny is 25+. She lived her entire life not afraid of bee's, and all of the sudden she is stung and realizes this little thing could potentially kill her. She's going to have an adjustment time with the start of bee season. There are things she can do to naturally repel bees (and wasps) - peppermint oil is a natural repellent. She can also wear long sleeves and pants when she's going outside.

Some flexibility on your part would be great. You need to show her support and not push her into an ultimatum. Make some suggestions and definitely request a certain amount of outdoor time per day. Also know bee's are less active in the morning, during cooler days, and hotter days. Spray parks are less likely to house bee's, even walking around the city she's less likely to see a bee.