How much notice is reasonable

[Anonymous]

Tell her no

[Anonymous]

Many parents will give priority to their child's needs over their own. It's the kid who has to suffer with rotating caregivers. This comes as an unfortunate cost of doing business, I guess. But the more often you do it, the bigger your risk of major problems with your child's healthy development.

[Anonymous]

Why is everyone's reaction always "Fire her"?
Why not have an honest talk with her?
You are both adults. Be honest with her about why this doesn't work for you. You'd be surprised.
A good caregiver is hard to find, as is a good employer.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny and don't think 3 weeks is enough notice, but that's me.

Is there any way you can hire a temp? Maybe even just for some of the days so that you don't have to take the whole 2 weeks off.

[Anonymous]

since she's in violation of the contract, I'd tell her she has to take the time unpaid since you are having to take the time unpaid. Then she can be paid for the time you're away. What she's doing is hoping she gets 4 wks vacation instead of 2.

But in any case you need to have an honest conversation with her and remind her of your previous discussion regarding your limited leave.

[Anonymous]

I am confused by your contract requirements. It sounds like four weeks notice are required and she gets two weeks, one of which has to be planned around your vacation? If that is the case, the answer can pretty simply be no, or at least that the second week that doesn't overlap with your vacation is not feasible or must be unpaid depending on what the agreement is.

In most work places, vacation time is a request, not a demand, and even if it is there for you to use, you still need to clear it with your boss and team before you just take it. That's not spelled out in my terms of work anywhere (MB, not a nanny), but it is understood among my team that before any vacation is planned, we clear it with each other, confirm there are no conflicts in the calendar, and accommodate each other so that someone is there to cover the work. So it's reasonable to say to your nanny, this doesn't work and it's not what we discussed. Here are some options I can make work instead.

There are two things about your post though that jump out at me - one that falls on your nanny and one that falls on you.

The first is that you say you don't think she's ever read your contract. It's unclear if that is because she just didn't or if there is a language barrier or for some other reason, but whatever the reason, you have some obligation to go through the terms and your expectations with her and ensure she understands them. We update our nanny's contract annually and run through the terms together, at the same time we do a mini-review and give her a small raise - all to ensure we're all on the same page as to our expectations.

The second is that you say you explained your situation to your nanny many times and she is disregarding your requests. I sort of agree with a PP that if that is really the case, this is the beginning of the end. Any good work relationship is built on mutual trust and understanding and accommodation. Ideally, she works with you on stuff like this and you work with her too when she needs to come in late or leave early or whatever, and it goes both ways. It's hard to imagine (assuming she understood what you were saying to her about your vacation situation post maternity leave), that she thinks this request is going to be okay with you - and the fact that it's for a random planned vacation and not a family emergency/wedding/something out of her control suggests she doesn't care. I'd have an honest conversation with her about this, but the reality is, I think no matter how this is resolved, you are going to end up needing a new nanny soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous
Many parents will give priority to their child's needs over their own. It's the kid who has to suffer with rotating caregivers. This comes as an unfortunate cost of doing business, I guess. But the more often you do it, the bigger your risk of major problems with your child's healthy development.

You have a good point but the wrong conclusion. If this MB needs to replace her nanny, it's because the nanny violated the contract. If nannies really care about rotating caregivers, they should follow their contracts and be worth keeping.

If a nanny is inconsiderate and violates her contract, well, she should be fired and replaced by a nanny who cares enough about a child's development to actually do the job she agreed to do.

[Anonymous]

Wow.it truly is amazing how mb's are quick to fire their and replace them. Any wonder why we just don't give a carp and do want.
Say she doesn't go on her trip, who says she won't get kicked out over some minor offense and then forever regret that decision.
No I would never put a nanny job before something important.
Probably a corporate job but not a nanny job..You mb's are too quick with the fire and replace policy

[Anonymous]

#crap and do what we want

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow.it truly is amazing how mb's are quick to fire their and replace them. Any wonder why we just don't give a carp and do want.
Say she doesn't go on her trip, who says she won't get kicked out over some minor offense and then forever regret that decision.
No I would never put a nanny job before something important.
Probably a corporate job but not a nanny job..You mb's are too quick with the fire and replace policy

Well I'm the OP and I made it pretty clear I wasn't going to fire her and I was going to let her go on her trip. It's more about whether or not my expectations are reasonable. I was trying to get a feel for if I was overreacting or was being reasonable. If you truly don't give a crap about your job and your job is caring for people's children, then I'd suggest you find another line of work, like maybe at a restaurant or something. B/c even if you don't give a crap, the children do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow.it truly is amazing how mb's are quick to fire their and replace them. Any wonder why we just don't give a carp and do want.
Say she doesn't go on her trip, who says she won't get kicked out over some minor offense and then forever regret that decision.
No I would never put a nanny job before something important.
Probably a corporate job but not a nanny job..You mb's are too quick with the fire and replace policy

That's a very immature attitude. If you want to be treated with respect act like a grown up. Ever heard the expression "dress for the job you want, not the job you have"? If you wanted to be treated well by your employers then it goes both ways. Yes, there are some crappy employers but there are also plenty of good ones. With your attitude though you will never get a job with the good ones.This nanny is in violation of her contract that she didn't bother to read. When an employers is in violation of the contract a lot of people are quick to say they should be sued. So how is this different? FWIW, I don't think this nanny should be fired for this but I also don't think she should be able to violate her contract without some consequences.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think your concern is partly valid and partly not. You have a contract that should be followed. She should have asked if she could take an additional week and not told you she was taking it. I do not agree that she should take her week of vacation around yours. She should choose her week as she sees fit and you need to save vacation to accomodate if you don't have back-up care. You need to decide if you want to pay for both weeks, give make-up options, or not pay. Sounds like the second week gives proper notice and is well within her contract to take. Personally, I only have to give 2 weeks notice and it is not a "request".