Tv all day?

[Anonymous]

Maybe when she was sick at work yesterday you should have asked if she would want today off, and tell her you could arrange back up care. You say you would have preferred that and it sounds like she would have too, but maybe didn't feel comfortable asking and maybe didn't know you had a backup.

[Anonymous]

My nanny has missed a lot of work for various things, so "to make up for it" was coming in when she was really too sick to handle the kids. This meant I came home to a house that looked like a hurricane hit, and then felt like I would a real bitch if I said anything to the sick nanny about not doing her job right.

So, we talked a couple of days later about expectations for staying home, and she has not done that again, even though it has cost her some money since she ran through all of her PTO.

I told her that I appreciate her coming and "powering through" a headache or an upset stomach, but three little kids are too much for someone really sick, and part of her professional duty is to recognize that (and let me get a replacement for the day).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My nanny has missed a lot of work for various things, so "to make up for it" was coming in when she was really too sick to handle the kids. This meant I came home to a house that looked like a hurricane hit, and then felt like I would a real bitch if I said anything to the sick nanny about not doing her job right.

So, we talked a couple of days later about expectations for staying home, and she has not done that again, even though it has cost her some money since she ran through all of her PTO.

I told her that I appreciate her coming and "powering through" a headache or an upset stomach, but three little kids are too much for someone really sick, and part of her professional duty is to recognize that (and let me get a replacement for the day).

You should also feel like a real bitch not paying your legitimately sick nanny. Let me guess, she gets sick right after caring for your sick kids? When was the last time you only had 5 sick days, to use for the entire year, including doctor visits, and sick days for your kids? Compound that by working with kids, germs, and poop all day.

[Anonymous]

Well, some days when I have a bad cold, I feel ok to go in in the morning and power through it with DayQuil. Some days, I find out I really should have stayed home.
Colds can be terrible and it doesn't sound like the nanny has a minor cold. Just remind her after she's healthy again if the tv rules and try not to stress over it. And maybe sit down with her and make a plan for when she's sick. Tell her what is too sick to come in and what isn't. Clearly, you two have different opinions on this. get on the same page.

[Anonymous]

I rarely call in sick. On the days I go in and I'm sick my bosses are lenient they rather have me there than to miss work themselves. I don't sit the kids in front of the tv though. I bring toys into an area I can rest and they can play independently, I also force myself to play with them for short periods. I also have bosses that allow me to nap when the kids do and if the laundry doesn't get done that day they are ok with it and I make it up when I'm well again. If the child/children are also sick we do watch a movie, and they do have toys out if they feel like playing but we usually cuddle and read or watch a movie

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny has missed a lot of work for various things, so "to make up for it" was coming in when she was really too sick to handle the kids. This meant I came home to a house that looked like a hurricane hit, and then felt like I would a real bitch if I said anything to the sick nanny about not doing her job right.

So, we talked a couple of days later about expectations for staying home, and she has not done that again, even though it has cost her some money since she ran through all of her PTO.

I told her that I appreciate her coming and "powering through" a headache or an upset stomach, but three little kids are too much for someone really sick, and part of her professional duty is to recognize that (and let me get a replacement for the day).

You should also feel like a real bitch not paying your legitimately sick nanny. Let me guess, she gets sick right after caring for your sick kids? When was the last time you only had 5 sick days, to use for the entire year, including doctor visits, and sick days for your kids? Compound that by working with kids, germs, and poop all day.

She's missed a lot of work. Did you read that part? It hasn't all been because she's sick. At this point, a lot of nannies would be out of a job altogether. I ran out of the ability to be flexible. She ran out of PTO because she decided to use it for lots of things other than sick days. And, she gets a pool of PTO to use for anything, all on her schedule, not just 5 days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny has missed a lot of work for various things, so "to make up for it" was coming in when she was really too sick to handle the kids. This meant I came home to a house that looked like a hurricane hit, and then felt like I would a real bitch if I said anything to the sick nanny about not doing her job right.

So, we talked a couple of days later about expectations for staying home, and she has not done that again, even though it has cost her some money since she ran through all of her PTO.

I told her that I appreciate her coming and "powering through" a headache or an upset stomach, but three little kids are too much for someone really sick, and part of her professional duty is to recognize that (and let me get a replacement for the day).

You should also feel like a real bitch not paying your legitimately sick nanny. Let me guess, she gets sick right after caring for your sick kids? When was the last time you only had 5 sick days, to use for the entire year, including doctor visits, and sick days for your kids? Compound that by working with kids, germs, and poop all day.

If working with kids is a negative aspect of a job as a nanny, then why be a nanny?

[Anonymous]

OP, the TV doesn't seem like too big of an issue assuming it's not a constant thing. I imagine it could be rectified in the future by making sure you communicate that you do have back-up care if she needs a day off. I don't think not paying her for extra sick days is unfair, it's how most jobs work. You might consider offering her extra PTO if she is coming in sick because she is worried about money and you are happy with her work in general, but that's at your discretion. The biggest issue here seems like the fact that her schedule does not offer the flexibility you need. You may need to look into other options- a nanny with a more flexible schedule, nanny share, daycare, etc. to find the best option for you and your schedule.

[Anonymous]

OP, try to separate the things that are bothering you and deal with them individually.

1) Your child is watching too much TV - First of all, this is short term (a day so far, possibly a few days by the time your nanny is healthy). Your child will be ok! This much screen time is not recommended by anyone but that doesn't mean that a kid sitting in front of the TV for 4 hours, 2 days in a row is going to hinder their development. It's not going to traumatize her or impact her negatively in the long run. This is not said in a rude tone. I'm honestly hoping you read this and realize "oh yeah! you're right, my child is perfectly fine!"

2) You're paying your nanny to do very little work - This is another thing that isn't recommended long term but is it hurting anyone when it happens a very small percentage of the time? No. If you are otherwise happy with your nanny try to give her a break when she's sick or otherwise having a hard time (car breaks down, sick family member, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny has missed a lot of work for various things, so "to make up for it" was coming in when she was really too sick to handle the kids. This meant I came home to a house that looked like a hurricane hit, and then felt like I would a real bitch if I said anything to the sick nanny about not doing her job right.

So, we talked a couple of days later about expectations for staying home, and she has not done that again, even though it has cost her some money since she ran through all of her PTO.

I told her that I appreciate her coming and "powering through" a headache or an upset stomach, but three little kids are too much for someone really sick, and part of her professional duty is to recognize that (and let me get a replacement for the day).

You should also feel like a real bitch not paying your legitimately sick nanny. Let me guess, she gets sick right after caring for your sick kids? When was the last time you only had 5 sick days, to use for the entire year, including doctor visits, and sick days for your kids? Compound that by working with kids, germs, and poop all day.

If working with kids is a negative aspect of a job as a nanny, then why be a nanny?

I didn't say it was a negative, I was trying to say that it contributes to illness. Nannies are given a very small, entry level, irrespective of their experience, amount of PTO. I sometimes get the feeling that some MBs, with their weeks upon weeks of PTO, are simply so far removed from this experience that they can't relate.

It is difficult as hell to stay healthy mentally and physically when you 1)are constantly exposed to illnesses and germs, 2)feel pressure to never miss work, as you are the sole employee, 3)get very little time off to begin with, and don't even have full control over how and when said piddly amount of time is used, and 4)are either uninsured or have crap insurance because your employer isn't forced to offer it. Put all of this together and nannies get sick. Sometimes they need a day to lay on the couch at work, despite feeling miserable, and let the kids entertain themselves, and not have you bitch about getting your dollars worth.

You whine when we call out, you whine when we come in, you don't see the need to offer insurance, you want us to care for your sick kids, and we get 5 days of our choosing for vacation, and 5 sick days we aren't allowed to use. Please try to think of someone else, and from their prospective every once in awhile before you complain and judge. Its probably been many years since your benefits package was so crappy, and I think you really just don't understand.

[Anonymous]

You need to find a second sitter, it will take all the stress of you when you need more coverage than she can do. It would make things much easier if the back up could also cover sick days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the TV doesn't seem like too big of an issue assuming it's not a constant thing. I imagine it could be rectified in the future by making sure you communicate that you do have back-up care if she needs a day off. I don't think not paying her for extra sick days is unfair, it's how most jobs work. You might consider offering her extra PTO if she is coming in sick because she is worried about money and you are happy with her work in general, but that's at your discretion. The biggest issue here seems like the fact that her schedule does not offer the flexibility you need. You may need to look into other options- a nanny with a more flexible schedule, nanny share, daycare, etc. to find the best option for you and your schedule.

OP here. You are right on with all your points. There's some other background here that I didn't mention in trying to stay on topic. But I have actually spoken with her recently about needing some kind of change in our arrangement, because it wasn't working out financially for us. I'm not going to go into it but it didn't go well. She was in a tough situation and this was the last thing she needed. Some other things transpired, and I agreed to keep her on for another 6 months or so.

On another subject, there's a lot of talk on this forum regarding sick days, snow days, pto. And how it would be considered ludicrous to not offer these things. But giving it some thought, I humbly disagree. I think it's a nice thing to do for your nanny and something the employer should decide on. I work on contract. I get no pto, no sick days, no snow days, no holidays. If I don't work, I don't get paid. My husband gets vacation but he doesn't get sick days or snow days. So I take issue with some of the opinions on this forum that assert that these things are some sort of required benefits for the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, try to separate the things that are bothering you and deal with them individually.

1) Your child is watching too much TV - First of all, this is short term (a day so far, possibly a few days by the time your nanny is healthy). Your child will be ok! This much screen time is not recommended by anyone but that doesn't mean that a kid sitting in front of the TV for 4 hours, 2 days in a row is going to hinder their development. It's not going to traumatize her or impact her negatively in the long run. This is not said in a rude tone. I'm honestly hoping you read this and realize "oh yeah! you're right, my child is perfectly fine!"

2) You're paying your nanny to do very little work - This is another thing that isn't recommended long term but is it hurting anyone when it happens a very small percentage of the time? No. If you are otherwise happy with your nanny try to give her a break when she's sick or otherwise having a hard time (car breaks down, sick family member, etc).

Op here. Yeah I've gotten over the freaking out over my kid watching 4 hrs of TV today. Haha. But next time I'm going to put a limit on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to find a second sitter, it will take all the stress of you when you need more coverage than she can do. It would make things much easier if the back up could also cover sick days.

Op here. This is one of those instances of... Why the heck didn't I think of that??? That is a great idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny has missed a lot of work for various things, so "to make up for it" was coming in when she was really too sick to handle the kids. This meant I came home to a house that looked like a hurricane hit, and then felt like I would a real bitch if I said anything to the sick nanny about not doing her job right.

So, we talked a couple of days later about expectations for staying home, and she has not done that again, even though it has cost her some money since she ran through all of her PTO.

I told her that I appreciate her coming and "powering through" a headache or an upset stomach, but three little kids are too much for someone really sick, and part of her professional duty is to recognize that (and let me get a replacement for the day).

You should also feel like a real bitch not paying your legitimately sick nanny. Let me guess, she gets sick right after caring for your sick kids? When was the last time you only had 5 sick days, to use for the entire year, including doctor visits, and sick days for your kids? Compound that by working with kids, germs, and poop all day.

If working with kids is a negative aspect of a job as a nanny, then why be a nanny?

I didn't say it was a negative, I was trying to say that it contributes to illness. Nannies are given a very small, entry level, irrespective of their experience, amount of PTO. I sometimes get the feeling that some MBs, with their weeks upon weeks of PTO, are simply so far removed from this experience that they can't relate.

It is difficult as hell to stay healthy mentally and physically when you 1)are constantly exposed to illnesses and germs, 2)feel pressure to never miss work, as you are the sole employee, 3)get very little time off to begin with, and don't even have full control over how and when said piddly amount of time is used, and 4)are either uninsured or have crap insurance because your employer isn't forced to offer it. Put all of this together and nannies get sick. Sometimes they need a day to lay on the couch at work, despite feeling miserable, and let the kids entertain themselves, and not have you bitch about getting your dollars worth.

You whine when we call out, you whine when we come in, you don't see the need to offer insurance, you want us to care for your sick kids, and we get 5 days of our choosing for vacation, and 5 sick days we aren't allowed to use. Please try to think of someone else, and from their prospective every once in awhile before you complain and judge. Its probably been many years since your benefits package was so crappy, and I think you really just don't understand.

I haven't been involved in this thread but I'm the OP and feel the need to interject. Have you thought that maybe some employers get zero pto, sick days, holidays, etc and yet still have to pay for their nanny's?