Schedule/expectations, nanny caring for 2 kids
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Anonymous
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As a nanny I have taken as many as 5 kids on outings and we all lived to tell about it. The backyard does not an outing make. Everyone needs a change of scenery from time to time. When you're at your office you can go for a walk, get coffee, go sit in your car etc if you need a change. Most nannies will need the same. There might be a day when she forgets her lunch, or starts her period and needs to get a box of tampons and some advil. She needs to be able to do that, not to mention all the great music and story/craft time opportunities out there for the little ones.
I realize *you* think it's hard to manage two kids, but the nanny is coming to work with a full nights rest, no crazy postpartum hormone fluctuations and presumably with a least a couple of years of experience. It makes a big difference. |
Anonymous
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You might find a nanny who is willing to stay at your home every single day but she will soon burn out and you'll have to look for a new nanny. In my last job, I agreed to stay in the home every day with the children. After a couple of months I felt so isolated and lonely. The children were so bored of doing the same things everyday. I had to quit.
This is an unreasonable expectation and it will bite you in the behind. |
Anonymous
| Thank you all for your replies. As I mentioned before I am aware that nannies are capable of taking on more than one child at a time, I was just curious as to how common this is. I am also aware that many nannies go out for activities with the children, I was just wondering how common this is as well. Mainly because I have friends whose children stay home with an older woman all day long. Your comments have given me varying perspectives, and I have a lot to think about. I will probably opt for half day of daycare/preschool and half day with nanny at least initially and then reevaluate. |
Anonymous
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I'm 10:46 and I also want to add that I agree the nanny will burn out staying in the house all day but also it's good for the children to go out different places too. Especially the 3 year old who is going to get really bored being in the house (or just in your yard) all day every day. I honestly think the children will miss out on a lot of things if the nanny can't take them anywhere.
I know it seems overwhelming to take 2 children anywhere right now but you realize there are lots of people with more than 2 children and they don't stay at home all the time. |
Anonymous
You should look into hiring a nanny about a month before you return to work. That way, you could get comfortable with someone watching your children. At 2 years of age, your son would probably go to a preschool 2-3 mornings a week. Five mornings a week is too much for a two year old. As you get more comfortable with the nanny, you will be more ok with her going on outings with your children. I have taken children everywhere alone with children. Parks, libraries, schools, zoos, and have even travelled out of the country with my charges (we met MB on a business trip). You should also start looking into preschools now, many of them are starting to take applications and some of them can be more competitive than others to get into. |
Anonymous
| OP, would you be able to keep your 3yo home all day, every day, every week? Even if you could (which I don't think is possible), why would you want to deprive them of all the rich experiences outside the home? Even riding the bus is a hotly anticipated adventure for my charges! Your kids need stimulation and your nanny needs your trust, otherwise it will be a negative experience all around. |
Anonymous
| Yeah, if you don't know or can't find anyone you can trust, don't do it. You wouldn't get much work done anyways, worrying all day. |
Anonymous
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OP, the job you are describing (newborn and toddler), with the hours you mentioned, strikes me as an extremely typical, normal, average kind of a job for a professional nanny. An experienced nanny will certainly have dealt with more than one child, of differing ages, inclusive of playgroups, classes, outings, illnesses, parental differences, grandparents, etc...
I think you should interview some nannies and get their perspective. Talk to your neighbors and use listservs to get recommendations, etc... This seems new and demanding to you - but to a professional it is the norm. Also, hopefully your newborn will not have the same medical challenges your first had - so you might find that it feels completely different to care for your second baby now that you're experienced. You might look back on this time a couple of years from now and realize you were worrying needlessly. So my two cents would be for the nanny (it gives you the most flexibility, support and coverage, in addition to potentially lots of expertise). It is a big leap to trust someone else with your children. However, once you manage that it is an amazing thing to have that kind of assistance and attention. Good luck. And congrats on the baby! (MB w/ a nanny for my twins) |
Anonymous
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New poster here, but a question for all the moms who have nannies - what services/agencies have you found to be the most useful? I've posted on here, care.com,and urban sitter, with not the greatest results.
Thanks! |
Anonymous
I found our fantastic nanny, and three other really strong candidates, through neighborhood listservs and word of mouth referrals. I also use an agency for emergency/vacation care but the best people came to us through family to family recommendations. |
Anonymous
| Honestly, if you are not comfortable with a nanny taking your two kids out of the house on a regular basis, you should not have a nanny. Both the nanny and the older kid will be bored, isolated, etc. Many, many, many nannies care for two children at the same time--witness the number of nanny shares in this city. You might be more comfortable with a daycare. |
Anonymous
| I think it is natural to feel uncomfortable about someone else to take care of your children. I worked for a mom who was a bit anxious at first about having someone come in to take care of her baby. I started working for them during her maternity leave so she could have time to get to know me and see how I interacted with her child. She went back to work a week after hiring me, instead of a month (which she had originally planned to do), because she saw her baby was in capable hands. |
Anonymous
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Hi. One thing you can think about is having someone watch the baby while your nanny takes the oldest to the neighborhood playgroup or other activities.
I worked with a family who when their first child turned 3 the 2nd baby was born and when the 2nd baby was 15 months old the 3rd child was born. Sounds scarey but it wasn't, When the 2nd baby was still the baby I took the oldest to a neighborhood playgroup while a babysitter took care of the baby. Then when we returned home we ate lunch then afternoon naps. After naps I took the kids for a walk or to the playground. The kids had fun & I had fun. It helps children to see other faces besides the ones in the house & they learn so much from other children. We followed the same routine after the 3rd child was born & I feel this worked so well because the mom was strict about the children being on a regular eating, napping & sleep schedule. I swear by the schedule. If you are looking for a nanny my number is 202.360.3343 I have great references |