This made me laugh......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of this is really insulting to me. I'm a mother, w/ twins and a nanny and a pretty demanding job that our family needs me to keep (and that I enjoy BTW).

I will be thrilled when our kids are old enough to play independently and well, and I encourage my nanny to support that.

I enjoy my children immensely. I also find them exhausting. Our nanny makes our life possible and we are blessed to have her. We make her life possible also.

I don't fit your judgments above and I'm sure the majority of mothers here don't either. Just as I'm sure the vast majority of nannies are far more rational, loving, and professional that many of the viewpoints routinely expressed here.

Mom here. I agree, but you should read the other thread and you will see where these nannies are coming from. I get that children's play can be really repetitive, but that thread was just sad.

Exactly. Its not as if we made it up, or put words into the mouths of these parents. They said this crap themselves. I don't know why it would be insulting to you, if you weren't on the thread, and don't share their attitude. Many of the MBs who frequent the nanny forum are also on the general parenting forum and at least one of them was on the thread and admitted 1)she hates kids and 2) she hired a nanny to play with her kid so she doesn't have to. We are simply reacting to the hypocrisy of it all. Our job is apparently easy money, and any schmoe off the street can do it, yet these parents can't stand to play with their kids for any length of time. Its laughable.

[Anonymous]

There was also a thread where parents talked about how little -- if at all -- they read books to their babies. But how many nannies get reprimanded for not reading enough?

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/339181.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do these women not remember their childhoods? I just have a hard time believing many of the MBs we deal with had caregivers ( who in reality were probably their grandmothers, neighbors, or daycare providers) who sat on the floor all day and "played" with them.

My charges are 3 and 1. We play, but 80% of their day they play with each other, themselves, or other kids. They are the smartest, most well behaved children I know.

I remember my childhood (MB here). It involved going all over the city with my nanny. Eating dinner while my mother got dressed to go out. My nannies absolutely DID play with me on a regular basis. No cell phones then unless you were a drug dealer, just beepers by the time I was aging out of needing a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do these women not remember their childhoods? I just have a hard time believing many of the MBs we deal with had caregivers ( who in reality were probably their grandmothers, neighbors, or daycare providers) who sat on the floor all day and "played" with them.

My charges are 3 and 1. We play, but 80% of their day they play with each other, themselves, or other kids. They are the smartest, most well behaved children I know.

I remember my childhood (MB here). It involved going all over the city with my nanny. Eating dinner while my mother got dressed to go out. My nannies absolutely DID play with me on a regular basis. No cell phones then unless you were a drug dealer, just beepers by the time I was aging out of needing a nanny.

Can I ask a question of the PP who went out with her nanny all the time- I'm just curious and don't have many people to ask. I'm a WOH parent and I admit I do have mommy guilt sometimes. How did your upbringing affect your relationship with your mother? I realize there are a lot of factors involved but it sounds from your post that you spent a lot of time with your nanny and I wonder what kind of relationship adults who spent a lot of time in daycare or with nannies had and currently have with their parents. Just curious.

[Anonymous]

I already posted but I do want to offer the perspective that some peope are horrible cleaners, but when they hire someone to clean they expect it to be done properly. Some people are bad with numbers, but expect their accountants to be able to get their taxes done. Get it? This is your job, your specialty. That is why you are expected to do things that some moms have admitted they cannot do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I already posted but I do want to offer the perspective that some peope are horrible cleaners, but when they hire someone to clean they expect it to be done properly. Some people are bad with numbers, but expect their accountants to be able to get their taxes done. Get it? This is your job, your specialty. That is why you are expected to do things that some moms have admitted they cannot do.

You cannot play with your own children? Surely you realize how incompetent this makes you sound...
Cannot and don't like to are VERY different concepts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I already posted but I do want to offer the perspective that some peope are horrible cleaners, but when they hire someone to clean they expect it to be done properly. Some people are bad with numbers, but expect their accountants to be able to get their taxes done. Get it? This is your job, your specialty. That is why you are expected to do things that some moms have admitted they cannot do.

Completely understandable! But "anyone can do your job" should not be the constant refrain we hear on this site. Clearly everyone can't, and the people who do it for you deserve a modicum of respect and consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I already posted but I do want to offer the perspective that some peope are horrible cleaners, but when they hire someone to clean they expect it to be done properly. Some people are bad with numbers, but expect their accountants to be able to get their taxes done. Get it? This is your job, your specialty. That is why you are expected to do things that some moms have admitted they cannot do.

Unfortunately this is what being a parent is about. If you can't stand to play with your own children than you shouldn't have them, period. You are the primary teacher in a child's life and guess what, young children learn through play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I already posted but I do want to offer the perspective that some peope are horrible cleaners, but when they hire someone to clean they expect it to be done properly. Some people are bad with numbers, but expect their accountants to be able to get their taxes done. Get it? This is your job, your specialty. That is why you are expected to do things that some moms have admitted they cannot do.

You cannot play with your own children? Surely you realize how incompetent this makes you sound...
Cannot and don't like to are VERY different concepts.

I'm not talking about myself. I'm trying to offer a different perspective. You are sounding incompetent right now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do these women not remember their childhoods? I just have a hard time believing many of the MBs we deal with had caregivers ( who in reality were probably their grandmothers, neighbors, or daycare providers) who sat on the floor all day and "played" with them.

My charges are 3 and 1. We play, but 80% of their day they play with each other, themselves, or other kids. They are the smartest, most well behaved children I know.

I remember my childhood (MB here). It involved going all over the city with my nanny. Eating dinner while my mother got dressed to go out. My nannies absolutely DID play with me on a regular basis. No cell phones then unless you were a drug dealer, just beepers by the time I was aging out of needing a nanny.

Can I ask a question of the PP who went out with her nanny all the time- I'm just curious and don't have many people to ask. I'm a WOH parent and I admit I do have mommy guilt sometimes. How did your upbringing affect your relationship with your mother? I realize there are a lot of factors involved but it sounds from your post that you spent a lot of time with your nanny and I wonder what kind of relationship adults who spent a lot of time in daycare or with nannies had and currently have with their parents. Just curious.

I have zero relationship with my mother and that's been the case since I was 16, but it has nothing to do with having a nanny. I didn't have a nanny because my mother was oh so busy working but had tons of mom-guilt about it and thus tried to make all our time together special. I had a nanny because my mother didn't want to parent, so she didn't. The reason our relationship died has nothing to do with the nanny.

To better answer your question I'll bring in DH - he and his sister had a nanny growing up while both their parents worked full time. Each parent aimed to take a half day off from work once a week to spend an afternoon with one of the kids. Weekends were all about the kids. They had a baby nanny and after that, another one all through their childhoods. Both DH and his sister are very close with their parents. They talk on the phone as a family every Sunday, and separately multiple times throughout the week. There are big family vacations, their mom flies out to help with the grandbabies every other month or so. So, it CAN work out well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do these women not remember their childhoods? I just have a hard time believing many of the MBs we deal with had caregivers ( who in reality were probably their grandmothers, neighbors, or daycare providers) who sat on the floor all day and "played" with them.

My charges are 3 and 1. We play, but 80% of their day they play with each other, themselves, or other kids. They are the smartest, most well behaved children I know.

I remember my childhood (MB here). It involved going all over the city with my nanny. Eating dinner while my mother got dressed to go out. My nannies absolutely DID play with me on a regular basis. No cell phones then unless you were a drug dealer, just beepers by the time I was aging out of needing a nanny.

Can I ask a question of the PP who went out with her nanny all the time- I'm just curious and don't have many people to ask. I'm a WOH parent and I admit I do have mommy guilt sometimes. How did your upbringing affect your relationship with your mother? I realize there are a lot of factors involved but it sounds from your post that you spent a lot of time with your nanny and I wonder what kind of relationship adults who spent a lot of time in daycare or with nannies had and currently have with their parents. Just curious.

I have zero relationship with my mother and that's been the case since I was 16, but it has nothing to do with having a nanny. I didn't have a nanny because my mother was oh so busy working but had tons of mom-guilt about it and thus tried to make all our time together special. I had a nanny because my mother didn't want to parent, so she didn't. The reason our relationship died has nothing to do with the nanny.

To better answer your question I'll bring in DH - he and his sister had a nanny growing up while both their parents worked full time. Each parent aimed to take a half day off from work once a week to spend an afternoon with one of the kids. Weekends were all about the kids. They had a baby nanny and after that, another one all through their childhoods. Both DH and his sister are very close with their parents. They talk on the phone as a family every Sunday, and separately multiple times throughout the week. There are big family vacations, their mom flies out to help with the grandbabies every other month or so. So, it CAN work out well.

Your post does a great job of illustrating why the referenced thread is just so sad to the point of being laughable. Its a great idea, and can be a positive thing to hire a nanny to make your life easier and to enrich the time you spend with your kids. It becomes a disservice to your child when your nanny spends the majority of waking time with your kid, is doing all the laundry, making the dinner, cleaning the house, basically all the traditionally "mommy" tasks, and then the time you do have with your kid you'd rather be doing anything else, and you halfhearted play along for 5 minutes and call it a day, only to plop them in front of TV or ignore them to work, post online, whatever. Outsource to make your collective lives better, not because you don't actually want to be a parent.

[Anonymous]

NP/MB here. I think my problem with this thread is that you can't extrapolate from the other horrible thread that YOUR MB who wants you to play with the children feels anything like the awful mothers who posted in the other thread.

I love playing with my children as I think many parents do. Sitting on the floor with them while they smile and laugh while we play together is truly my greatest joy. I also encourage them to play independently because I think it's important for them to learn that but it's not because I don't enjoy it.

The original thread is awful and I can see why nannies would be frustrated by it but not every MB who has a nanny feels like those parents do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP/MB here. I think my problem with this thread is that you can't extrapolate from the other horrible thread that YOUR MB who wants you to play with the children feels anything like the awful mothers who posted in the other thread.

I love playing with my children as I think many parents do. Sitting on the floor with them while they smile and laugh while we play together is truly my greatest joy. I also encourage them to play independently because I think it's important for them to learn that but it's not because I don't enjoy it.

The original thread is awful and I can see why nannies would be frustrated by it but not every MB who has a nanny feels like those parents do.

I'm a pp nanny and I agree with you. Its great that you aren't like that, but the nannies with MBs that are like that know it, and find it to be quite hypocritical. My current bosses aren't like that in the least, but I've worked for parents like that (I literally had to refuse to work in their home until they baby proofed because their baby had fallen down the stairs a THIRD time on their watch, because they ignored him playing video games/watching TV) and I do chuckle to myself when those same parents need me to do extra chores so they "have more time with their child". Nannies aren't blind/stupid.

[Anonymous]

Most nannies are lazy but THINK they are great because they take their charge for a walk or to the playground here or there. I'm not a parent but I get it and hopefully the nannies who actually have kids get it as well. The ones who don't are deluded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most nannies are lazy but THINK they are great because they take their charge for a walk or to the playground here or there. I'm not a parent but I get it and hopefully the nannies who actually have kids get it as well. The ones who don't are deluded.

Not sure where you get the idea that most nannies are lazy, I'm sure there are some just like there are lazy workers in every profession. I am working hard all day long whether it be entertaining and supervising the baby or doing laundry, making bottles, or preparing baby food. The only time I get a break is when I sit down for a 15 minute lunch while the baby is sleeping and sometimes I don't even get that.