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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do these women not remember their childhoods? I just have a hard time believing many of the MBs we deal with had  caregivers ( who in reality were probably their grandmothers, neighbors, or daycare providers) who sat on the floor all day and "played" with them.

My charges are 3 and 1. We play,  but 80% of their day they play with each other, themselves, or other kids. They are the smartest, most well behaved children I know. [/quote]

I remember my childhood (MB here). It involved going all over the city with my nanny. Eating dinner while my mother got dressed to go out. My nannies absolutely DID play with me on a regular basis. No cell phones then unless you were a drug dealer, just beepers by the time I was aging out of needing a nanny. [/quote]

Can I ask a question of the PP who went out with her nanny all the time- I'm just curious and don't have many people to ask.  I'm a WOH parent and I admit I do have mommy guilt sometimes.  How did your upbringing affect your relationship with your mother?  I realize there are a lot of factors involved but it sounds from your post that you spent a lot of time with your nanny and I wonder what kind of relationship adults who spent a lot of time in daycare or with nannies had and currently have with their parents.  Just curious.  [/quote]

I have zero relationship with my mother and that's been the case since I was 16, but it has nothing to do with having a nanny. I didn't have a nanny because my mother was oh so busy working but had tons of mom-guilt about it and thus tried to make all our time together special. I had a nanny because my mother didn't want to parent, so she didn't. The reason our relationship died has nothing to do with the nanny.

To better answer your question I'll bring in DH - he and his sister had a nanny growing up while both their parents worked full time. Each parent aimed to take a half day off from work once a week to spend an afternoon with one of the kids. Weekends were all about the kids. They had a baby nanny and after that, another one all through their childhoods. Both DH and  his sister are very close with their parents. They talk on the phone as a family every Sunday, and separately multiple times throughout the week. There are big family vacations, their mom flies out to help with the grandbabies every other month or so. So, it CAN work out well. [/quote]

Your post does a great job of illustrating why the referenced thread is just so sad to the point of being laughable. Its a great idea, and can be a positive thing to hire a nanny to make your life easier and to enrich the time you spend with your kids. It becomes a disservice to your child when your nanny spends the majority of waking time with your kid, is doing all the laundry, making the dinner, cleaning the house, basically all the traditionally "mommy" tasks, and then the time you do have with your kid you'd rather be doing anything else, and you halfhearted play along for 5 minutes and call it a day, only to plop them in front of TV or ignore them to work, post online, whatever. Outsource to make your collective lives better, not because you don't actually want to be a parent. [/quote]

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