Are we a good candidate for an au pair?

[Anonymous]

If you an afford a nanny, get a nanny.
An au pair is a good alternative if you can't afford a nanny.
It takes alot of your free time. It is like having a dependent houseguest. She will need instruction and guidance on everything -- not just how to care for your kids, but how to get places, sign up for things, etc.
Having food stocked for a teenager was also a big change for us -- you don't realize how much you have to stay on top of the groceries.
She will have friends over too -- more groceries.
Don't do it unless you really look forward to houseguests.

[Anonymous]

A lot of au pairs expect to be included. So instead of dividing your attention among 3 after work, you will need to divide your attention among 4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Oh, a consideration - Cultural Care requires that the 1.5 days off each week be consecutive. If you aren't having her work Fridays, but you do have her work a Saturday morning, you could only use her until noon Saturday so that she has Saturday afternoon (.5) and Sunday (1.0) off. If you use her Saturday night, it's no problem, because it will be Friday (1.0) and Saturday morning (.5) off. If that's going to be an issue, don't use them. We weren't thrilled with them anyway and have switched back to Au Pair in America. More expensive, but way better service and more experienced candidates in my limited experience.

To expand on this it is consecutive DAYS not HOURS. So no where does it say that you cannot work a 1/2 shift Sat night then have off Sunday...

[Anonymous]

If you can't give your AP 1.5 consecutive days (or the consecutive hours involved) off, how do you face yourself in the mirror every morning? Is this really too much to offer a 19-year-old who's working 45 hours a week for you, at very low pay, solely for the cultural experience of being in the US and needs that time off to experience it? That really is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Oh, a consideration - Cultural Care requires that the 1.5 days off each week be consecutive. If you aren't having her work Fridays, but you do have her work a Saturday morning, you could only use her until noon Saturday so that she has Saturday afternoon (.5) and Sunday (1.0) off. If you use her Saturday night, it's no problem, because it will be Friday (1.0) and Saturday morning (.5) off. If that's going to be an issue, don't use them. We weren't thrilled with them anyway and have switched back to Au Pair in America. More expensive, but way better service and more experienced candidates in my limited experience.

To expand on this it is consecutive DAYS not HOURS. So no where does it say that you cannot work a 1/2 shift Sat night then have off Sunday...

I don't understand if you're agreeing with me or not, but it does say in Cultural Care (but not with APIA) that the 1.5 days off have to be consecutive. The issue for us with that is that our au pair works a split shift - 2 hours in the weekday morning and 3 hours in the afternoons for a total of 25 hours a week (so way under the 45 hours). We don't usually have her work weekends at all, but there were occasional Saturdays we did schedule her if we had a wedding or special party. If we used her Saturday night, it meant that we had to do the pick-up routine Friday afternoon or drop-off Monday morning because otherwise she wouldn't have had 1.5 consecutive days off. I personally thought that was pretty ridiculous (and so did she) because she actually has 8 hours off every weekday, the entire Sunday and Most of Saturday on those weeks too.

I don't even understand how you could break up a full 45 hours such that she didn't have 1.5 days off - inguess a split schedule like ours but 7 days a week? Obviously that's not fair

[Anonymous]

I'm saying that you don't have to do that (Friday thing). You can schedule the 1/2 day on Sat and still give off Sunday and you are still in compliance with the 1.5 day consecutive thing!!

[Anonymous]

Longtime host mom here.

OP, you asked if you are a "good candidate" for an au pair. As a mother of 3 kids, I will tell you honestly you are NOT a "good" candidate for an au pair. The AP program has worked very very well for us, but we started when we had only 2 kids, and so we really have become very experienced host parents. We know how to search, we know what the expectations are, and it has worked very well (but not perfectly) for us. There is a definite learning curve for the parents on this.

As a mother of 3, looking at your needs (2 school kids, and one infant), you will need a "Supernanny/Mission Control" in your house to make things work. Juggling an infant with errands, homework, and sports is a REALLY REALLY big job -- for anyone.

I can tell you with some certainty, that 95% of the au pair pool is NOT going to work for you. Young girls 18-22 with babysitting experience (which is 90% of the au pair pool) are almost assuredly NOT going to work for you.

If you decide you want to go ahead and try it -- I would recommend a much older more mature AP with 2-3 YEARS of full-time teaching/nanny/daycare experience. They are out there, but they go fast. We've had 3 excellent au pairs (all over 23 years old) with that background who were awesome. It CAN work. But realize you are searching for a bit of a needle in a haystack, and you are also likely to make mistakes with your first few hires.

Good luck to you. I love the AP program, but its not for everyone. And, I'd be really hesitant to recommend it to a first time host family with your needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm saying that you don't have to do that (Friday thing). You can schedule the 1/2 day on Sat and still give off Sunday and you are still in compliance with the 1.5 day consecutive thing!!

With Cultural Care though, the half days have to be consecutive. So I'm saying that it doesn't work unless you only have her work Saturday morning. If you're having her work Saturday night, where's the 1.5 days if she's on a split schedule M-F?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Longtime host mom here.

OP, you asked if you are a "good candidate" for an au pair. As a mother of 3 kids, I will tell you honestly you are NOT a "good" candidate for an au pair. The AP program has worked very very well for us, but we started when we had only 2 kids, and so we really have become very experienced host parents. We know how to search, we know what the expectations are, and it has worked very well (but not perfectly) for us. There is a definite learning curve for the parents on this.

As a mother of 3, looking at your needs (2 school kids, and one infant), you will need a "Supernanny/Mission Control" in your house to make things work. Juggling an infant with errands, homework, and sports is a REALLY REALLY big job -- for anyone.

I can tell you with some certainty, that 95% of the au pair pool is NOT going to work for you. Young girls 18-22 with babysitting experience (which is 90% of the au pair pool) are almost assuredly NOT going to work for you.

If you decide you want to go ahead and try it -- I would recommend a much older more mature AP with 2-3 YEARS of full-time teaching/nanny/daycare experience. They are out there, but they go fast. We've had 3 excellent au pairs (all over 23 years old) with that background who were awesome. It CAN work. But realize you are searching for a bit of a needle in a haystack, and you are also likely to make mistakes with your first few hires.

Good luck to you. I love the AP program, but its not for everyone. And, I'd be really hesitant to recommend it to a first time host family with your needs.

I'm 11:53 back again and I second this. This is what I was saying with the "dare to match with us" and having to interview hard (though this host mom said it much more clearly!). It's why when anyone asks me if I recommend the au pair program, I generally say no even though we are on our third au pair. Like I said, I would never again have a regular au pair and this host mom explains exactly why. 95% of them, as she says, are your typical high school babysitter level candidate.

Cultural Care will tell you they have some candidates that were former teachers or really really experienced, but we found them to be so few and far between that we couldn't grab them in time. That's why I like the Extraordinaire program with APIA - they're all former teachers, long-time nannies or holders of childhood degrees. In my very limited experience, it's well worth it. The only time we tried the regular program, we got through the year, but it was a slog. She kept the kids alive and that's about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm saying that you don't have to do that (Friday thing). You can schedule the 1/2 day on Sat and still give off Sunday and you are still in compliance with the 1.5 day consecutive thing!!

Are you saying you could give off Saturday morning, schedule Saturday night, give off Sunday and still call it 1.5 consecutive days off, because she had off half a day on Saturday? I think you know that is not what is intended by the requirement. Its so that she gets some semblance of a weekend where she can go out one night, stay out late, and have the whole next day to recover and relax. Your suggestion robs her of that and is not in the spirit of the requirement, and manipulating the meaning is that way is a dick move. Would you want an AP that twists your words to her benefit like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm saying that you don't have to do that (Friday thing). You can schedule the 1/2 day on Sat and still give off Sunday and you are still in compliance with the 1.5 day consecutive thing!!

Are you saying you could give off Saturday morning, schedule Saturday night, give off Sunday and still call it 1.5 consecutive days off, because she had off half a day on Saturday? I think you know that is not what is intended by the requirement. Its so that she gets some semblance of a weekend where she can go out one night, stay out late, and have the whole next day to recover and relax. Your suggestion robs her of that and is not in the spirit of the requirement, and manipulating the meaning is that way is a dick move. Would you want an AP that twists your words to her benefit like that?

I don't understand how a half day off Saturday (only having to work, say, 7-11pm) and a full day off Sunday doesn't constitute the "consecutive one half day and one full day off." Saturday is a half day, whether the time worked is in the evening or the morning. If they had meant the time had to bleed into each other, they would have phrased it differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm saying that you don't have to do that (Friday thing). You can schedule the 1/2 day on Sat and still give off Sunday and you are still in compliance with the 1.5 day consecutive thing!!

Are you saying you could give off Saturday morning, schedule Saturday night, give off Sunday and still call it 1.5 consecutive days off, because she had off half a day on Saturday? I think you know that is not what is intended by the requirement. Its so that she gets some semblance of a weekend where she can go out one night, stay out late, and have the whole next day to recover and relax. Your suggestion robs her of that and is not in the spirit of the requirement, and manipulating the meaning is that way is a dick move. Would you want an AP that twists your words to her benefit like that?

I don't understand how a half day off Saturday (only having to work, say, 7-11pm) and a full day off Sunday doesn't constitute the "consecutive one half day and one full day off." Saturday is a half day, whether the time worked is in the evening or the morning. If they had meant the time had to bleed into each other, they would have phrased it differently.

You don't understand what consecutive means? That the 1.5 days have to bleed into each other is precisely what is meant by "c o n s e c u t i v e"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm saying that you don't have to do that (Friday thing). You can schedule the 1/2 day on Sat and still give off Sunday and you are still in compliance with the 1.5 day consecutive thing!!

Are you saying you could give off Saturday morning, schedule Saturday night, give off Sunday and still call it 1.5 consecutive days off, because she had off half a day on Saturday? I think you know that is not what is intended by the requirement. Its so that she gets some semblance of a weekend where she can go out one night, stay out late, and have the whole next day to recover and relax. Your suggestion robs her of that and is not in the spirit of the requirement, and manipulating the meaning is that way is a dick move. Would you want an AP that twists your words to her benefit like that?

I don't understand how a half day off Saturday (only having to work, say, 7-11pm) and a full day off Sunday doesn't constitute the "consecutive one half day and one full day off." Saturday is a half day, whether the time worked is in the evening or the morning. If they had meant the time had to bleed into each other, they would have phrased it differently.

You don't understand what consecutive means? That the 1.5 days have to bleed into each other is precisely what is meant by "c o n s e c u t i v e"

Hey, come on. This is why it's important to be nice even when you think the other person is being purposely obtuse. You are both right. Only Cultural Care says it has to be consecutive. The other agencies follow the State Department rule which just says 1.5 days.

[Anonymous]

And PP, consecutive means "Following one after another without interruption". So no, you can't say it's consecutive just because it's on consecutive days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm saying that you don't have to do that (Friday thing). You can schedule the 1/2 day on Sat and still give off Sunday and you are still in compliance with the 1.5 day consecutive thing!!

Are you saying you could give off Saturday morning, schedule Saturday night, give off Sunday and still call it 1.5 consecutive days off, because she had off half a day on Saturday? I think you know that is not what is intended by the requirement. Its so that she gets some semblance of a weekend where she can go out one night, stay out late, and have the whole next day to recover and relax. Your suggestion robs her of that and is not in the spirit of the requirement, and manipulating the meaning is that way is a dick move. Would you want an AP that twists your words to her benefit like that?

I don't understand how a half day off Saturday (only having to work, say, 7-11pm) and a full day off Sunday doesn't constitute the "consecutive one half day and one full day off." Saturday is a half day, whether the time worked is in the evening or the morning. If they had meant the time had to bleed into each other, they would have phrased it differently.

You don't understand what consecutive means? That the 1.5 days have to bleed into each other is precisely what is meant by "c o n s e c u t i v e"

Hey, come on. This is why it's important to be nice even when you think the other person is being purposely obtuse. You are both right. Only Cultural Care says it has to be consecutive. The other agencies follow the State Department rule which just says 1.5 days.

We were talking about the CC requirement of consecutive days off, and she is being purposely obtuse, however I thought my response was nice!